Yep that about sums it up.
My divorce was signed by the judge on Feb. 28th.
It still does not feel real. The following is what it still feels like.
Lonely, bitter, angry , wtf? , sad, happy, free, depressed, excited, anxious, nervous , fearful, and on and on and on...
Just puts one in a pissy mood.. *growl*
Trying to work thru all those emotions sure makes you feel tired.
I still sit and am angry that my ex-w was so unhappy. That I don't get to see my 2 1/2 year old daughter every day. (But I do have 50% custody!) That what was the point of the whole relationship if it was only going to end like this..
It just feels like every time I think I am ready to make progress, I just sit and sulk..
Need to get up and get out! Exercise, get a hobby and be thankful for your blessings!
I know it must be difficult for you, but having had a negative mindset myself, I can honestly say thinking about it, perpetuates it. I had to work long and hard to stop myself from it, and I still have negative lapses now and then.
Oh I am thankful for my blessings! , it's just I agree I need to stop thinking about the former life, and embrace the new. I can not go back in the time machine and change the events that took place. It's just difficult when you feel you were doing everything for your family and wife to only feel like a used dish rag. *ugh*
And hobbies, oh yes, I have them Tennis, Photography, Working out, gun range, collecting bourbon, micro-brews, and on and on, lol, it's just sometimes you feel out of place and really miss having a companion. Maybe it's a bit of the winter blues too, but that too shall soon pass.
Yes there is closure, but the sanity barely hangs on. It's learning to deal with the emotions, anger, etc. etc. and stop re-hashing events, a big item I need to work on..
Clean, you are describing me, plenty to do, just no one to do it with. No one to snuggle with at night, no one to make a cup of tea for or share your day with. And today was my birthday and while all the friend, family and co-workers wishes were great, there was no one special. I am sure I will get it worked out eventually and probably by next birthday (55, really!), I will be fine
The point is your daughter. You may find that the quality of time you have with her improves b/c you will value it so much more. Focus on her and on yourself, and it will be ok--and even "great," after a while. Good luck.