04-18-2012, 10:07 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
| | Re: Why do I want to call her?
Yesterday sorta fell apart in the evening. I got home from my IC and started to pack up the kitchen and throw more stuff out. When she left, she took everything she wanted and left me generally with a mess to clean up of all the crap we'd accumulated. Anyway, I was out back throwing stuff away and for some reason I decided to go sit on the lawn in the backyard. Just kinda sat there, thinking about all the good times, the BBQ's, the gardening, ect. While I was sitting there, the one neighbor I haven't talked to since this all happened came into her backyard. I got up and she asked me when "we" were planning on starting to plant the garden. I said that that wasn't going to be happening this year, that I was moving. She smiled and said she was sad to see me and my ex-wife go, that we'd been great neighbors. Thats when I told her what had happened. I couldn't hold it together, I excused myself and walked back to the side door, sat on the stoop and just started crying.
I know its a cycle. Thats the nature of grief. Ups and downs. I just wish the downs weren't so low.