SRN

Yesterday sorta fell apart in the evening. I got home from my IC and started to pack up the kitchen and throw more stuff out. When she left, she took everything she wanted and left me generally with a mess to clean up of all the crap we'd accumulated. Anyway, I was out back throwing stuff away and for some reason I decided to go sit on the lawn in the backyard. Just kinda sat there, thinking about all the good times, the BBQ's, the gardening, ect. While I was sitting there, the one neighbor I haven't talked to since this all happened came into her backyard. I got up and she asked me when "we" were planning on starting to plant the garden. I said that that wasn't going to be happening this year, that I was moving. She smiled and said she was sad to see me and my ex-wife go, that we'd been great neighbors. Thats when I told her what had happened. I couldn't hold it together, I excused myself and walked back to the side door, sat on the stoop and just started crying.
I know its a cycle. Thats the nature of grief. Ups and downs. I just wish the downs weren't so low.

unsure78

Oh SRN I feel for you, last night must have just been a bad night cause I cried for the first time in like a month last night- i was all alone last night cause my son was with stbxh and I was just missing being a family. It hurt. Im sorry- but today is a new day, try to get out and laugh that has helped me this morning.

SRN

Sorry to hear that it was bad for you too. We'll all get through this, eventually. The alternative isn't to pleasant.

Jayb

If you don't mind me asking, how do you get up in the mornings? I've been having trouble lately, getting past the upset to get ready.

SRN

I guess you have to ask yourself, "Why am I upset?" and begin addressing that. I tend to wake up depressed, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Each morning say to myself, "Why am I depressed? Remember what she did. You're better off without her now."

unsure78

Jayb its still hard sometimes- I didnt want to get out of bed this morning but I guess I just have too- I try to think of the people that are depending on me, my child, my co-workers, even my animals. Sometimes just getting into the shower to get ready helps make me feel better. I have also been trying to distract myself more lately and think about the future not the past. But its still really hard sometimes, I cried for an hour last night, but that's ok too. You cant move past something if you don't grieve first.

SRN

This is the truth, and I'm finding it out. After you cry for a bit, often times you feel better after.

Dollystanford

I cried non stop for two weeks..and haven't cried since
realised that I was on my own and had to pull myself together, get on with my job and concentrate on me and D

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Dollystanford I don't sweat....I glisten