After dealing with all that crap for the last 2+ whatever years - I really expected to feel a large weight lifted from my shoulder when the judge signed the papers.
Two months later - and she's been moved out for about 6 months or so - and I'm still just flippin' exhausted.
Thought I had already mourned the loss of my partner. Was I wrong?
I have days that are better - and I have days that I force myself to push through and DO some things that might make me feel better.
But then I still have some days where I do next to nothing but sleep.
Seems no matter what I do, I can't shake this feeling of being tired and exhausted.
Can anyone else relate? Hoping its not just me here. Misery loves company you know...
Every time things started to pick up for a while, there'd be a sudden drop off a cliff.
For a while I'd be absolutely fine, get in the car to drive to work or drive home and spend the entire car ride in tears.
I've been living apart from my husband since february 24th 2011.
I really felt like I spent way more time mourning the loss of my husband and my marriage than I should have, most people around my area just bounce from bed to bed to fill the hole.
Can't say I have some fabulous advice for you, or some really great moral for the day, but I do know the feeling well. I actually almost called my ex and begged to go see him last night because I was extremely depressive and all I wanted was his shoulder to cry on. The victory of that, was that I didn't call him, I spent my night cuddled with my dogs in bed watching a movie and slept it off. I am much better today than I would have been had i called him
After dealing with all that crap for the last 2+ whatever years - I really expected to feel a large weight lifted from my shoulder when the judge signed the papers.
Two months later - and she's been moved out for about 6 months or so - and I'm still just flippin' exhausted.
Thought I had already mourned the loss of my partner. Was I wrong?
I have days that are better - and I have days that I force myself to push through and DO some things that might make me feel better.
But then I still have some days where I do next to nothing but sleep.
Seems no matter what I do, I can't shake this feeling of being tired and exhausted.
Can anyone else relate? Hoping its not just me here. Misery loves company you know...
Don't be so hard on yourself...you have kids so being tired and exhausted are a given without all the underlying circumstances of major loss and life change. Its possible you may have mourned the loss, but have not fully accepted it just yet. Also if you exw is an emotional vampire then that just adds to it. The closer you get to accepting what your ex is and how she operates the easier it becomes, but there will always be those moments until you no longer have to deal with her and your kids are grown.
Still waiting for the final judgement to arrive, but I feel the lose everyday. Today was our youngest son's birthday, 23. We went out for dinner and I asked my STBXH to come with us. First time I have seen him since the court hearing in February. I made sure I looked great. He came in, gave me a kiss, but the kids made sure that the only open chair was away from me. Only lasted an hour but I feel like I held my breath the whole time. After 28 years I imagine it will take a long time for this feeling to go away
Don't assume it's psychological; it might be physical. Bandit45 had to have an angioplasty recently. Might be a good idea to see your doctor about this if you haven't already, just to rule it out.
Still waiting for the final judgement to arrive, but I feel the lose everyday. Today was our youngest son's birthday, 23. We went out for dinner and I asked my STBXH to come with us. First time I have seen him since the court hearing in February. I made sure I looked great. He came in, gave me a kiss, but the kids made sure that the only open chair was away from me. Only lasted an hour but I feel like I held my breath the whole time. After 28 years I imagine it will take a long time for this feeling to go away
I don't know what your situation was, but once my kids are grown I will have no need to ever see or speak to my exw again. I don't think anything of her as a human being and won't allow anyone like her into my life ever again. As far as I'm concerned she rates with pedophiles. No she isn't a pedophile but she is an abuser like one. its just not sexual abuse.
After dealing with all that crap for the last 2+ whatever years - I really expected to feel a large weight lifted from my shoulder when the judge signed the papers.
Two months later - and she's been moved out for about 6 months or so - and I'm still just flippin' exhausted.
Thought I had already mourned the loss of my partner. Was I wrong?
I have days that are better - and I have days that I force myself to push through and DO some things that might make me feel better.
But then I still have some days where I do next to nothing but sleep.
Seems no matter what I do, I can't shake this feeling of being tired and exhausted.
Can anyone else relate? Hoping its not just me here. Misery loves company you know...
Yes, I had to go back on anti-depressants this year. I was either yelling at my co-workers or crying my eyes out every time I brought my kids home from a visit. I was also having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I gained 15 lbs. It's not just you.
My son said he was sad that the 4 of us would never be together again and I said that wouldn't happen, so its up to me to do it when it won't be too overwhelming for me
Don't assume it's psychological; it might be physical. Bandit45 had to have an angioplasty recently. Might be a good idea to see your doctor about this if you haven't already, just to rule it out.
I have been to my Doctor. Depression is nothing new to me, so I've been on anti-depressants for several years. Just kind of tired of therapy. Would rather get out and make some new friends instead of paying someone to listen to me.
My house is a mess, work is a bit more stressful than usual, and then my Ex and my oldest D can't stand each other.
I have been to my Doctor. Depression is nothing new to me, so I've been on anti-depressants for several years. Just kind of tired of therapy. Would rather get out and make some new friends instead of paying someone to listen to me.
My house is a mess, work is a bit more stressful than usual, and then my Ex and my oldest D can't stand each other.
Hey man,
I know what you're saying. You are exhausted. Emotionally, and the stress translates to physically. Let the chores wait. Take it easy on yourself, get lots of sleep. I find I trigger worse after a period where I dont sleep enough.
I was in a funk for about 2 weeks, and the some of the chores around my house got put off. But this past saturday I opened the windows and did a bunch of cleaning that kind of actually made me feel better about my place, and myself.
Not only are we dealing with the emotional response from the "event" that effected the most important and valuable parts of our lives, routine, and motives for getting up in the morning....we are also facing the process of developing all new segments of our lives, reconstructing something suitable to ourselves, and attempting to understand just what those desires are at this point. Finances, the kids, loss of the even the non-marriage related conveniences of having someone else there..
Lots of reason for taking it easy. Thats my plan anyways. Just going to take it easy for awhile and enjoy the lack of "having to participate" in someone else's weekly agenda.
Not only are we dealing with the emotional response from the "event" that effected the most important and valuable parts of our lives, routine, and motives for getting up in the morning....we are also facing the process of developing all new segments of our lives, reconstructing something suitable to ourselves, and attempting to understand just what those desires are at this point. Finances, the kids, loss of the even the non-marriage related conveniences of having someone else there..
Just going to take it easy for awhile and enjoy the lack of "having to participate" in someone else's weekly agenda.
2Likes
You know... 
Do you see a therapist?
