I don't have a ton of money to sweep anyone off their feet right now. And if I DID have some extra cash laying around - I would probably be (smartly) stashing it into a couple of college funds.
What do people at "our age" expect when you are trying to get to know someone and would like to spend more time with them?
- A cup of coffee on a late Friday evening?
- Rent a DVD? You'd have to go to someone's house...
- A walk in the park? Not really my thing - but I suppose it might be fun.
- Do you ever go "Dutch" on dates to more expensive places?
How are we suppose to do this, now that we all have kids and mortgages and child support...???
Was just thinking about this very same thing! Swear you guys read my mind.
I'm in the same boat as you. Most of my paycheck each month goes towards payments on debt and that is just minimum payments.
I have come to the realization that I'm going to have to get more creative in where/how I meet ladies. This is also a big reason why dating sites don't do much for me. Fact is, I don't feel I can compete with others right now because I do not have much money and what little I do have I cannot justify spending it on someone that most likely will only be around for a date or 2.
Been a little frustrated the past couple of weeks thinking about this because I am officially to the point where I would like adult companionship of the opposite sex but am cut thin regarding time and money.
I don't have a ton of money to sweep anyone off their feet right now. And if I DID have some extra cash laying around - I would probably be (smartly) stashing it into a couple of college funds.
What do people at "our age" expect when you are trying to get to know someone and would like to spend more time with them?
- A cup of coffee on a late Friday evening?
- Rent a DVD? You'd have to go to someone's house...
- A walk in the park? Not really my thing - but I suppose it might be fun.
- Do you ever go "Dutch" on dates to more expensive places?
How are we suppose to do this, now that we all have kids and mortgages and child support...???
You do it the same way you did it before. Many of us on here were young and not exactly financially stable when we started dating our spouses to begin with. You get creative
I would love to meet for a cup of coffee and talk, or dinner and a movie at home (or out if that's your thing). See if you still have a drive-in near you (we have one) and go there to watch a movie.
Check your local papers, especially now that summer is coming. There will be tons of free festivals and outdoor concerts and movies. We have one every year that is a Blue's Fest, and even though that isn't my first choice of music, the atmosphere is fabulous and the food to die for, so it's something I can't wait for every year.
Sign up for Groupon and Living Social alerts. They have some awesome deals on there, and I've been able to afford things I couldn't have otherwise because of them.
You could do fun things like bowling, putt-putting, go-karting. Sounds childish, but still a lot of fun as an adult, especially for a little friendly competition, and pretty cheap, too.
There's fishing, paddle-boating, hiking that cost almost nothing.
You don't need money to sweep anyone off their feet...and if you come across the type of person that gives you that impression, you don't want them anyway!
cook me dinner! I'll bring the wine
if it's sunny sit outside, chew the fat
walk in the woods, or on the beach, or in the park
the beautiful thing about London is you can do so much for free - all museums are free, walking down the south bank and watching the street entertainers, seeing (most) of the sights
if a woman only wants you for what you can buy her she ain't a woman at all
cook me dinner! I'll bring the wine
if it's sunny sit outside, chew the fat
walk in the woods, or on the beach, or in the park
the beautiful thing about London is you can do so much for free - all museums are free, walking down the south bank and watching the street entertainers, seeing (most) of the sights
if a woman only wants you for what you can buy her she ain't a woman at all
And there are women out there who would appreciate the time spent - and not the money...???
Plus - at "our" age - doesn't everyone have some baggage?
And there are women out there who would appreciate the time spent - and not the money...???
Plus - at "our" age - doesn't everyone have some baggage?
Absolutely! At this point in my life, I've grown sick of material things replacing the things that should matter, and look forward to finding someone who appreciates and understands that quality time and being able to enjoy each other's company means so much more than trying to buy my love -- or their way out of screwing up again -- with some trinket. I'm looking for substance next time, and that only comes with spending time with someone and being able to cultivate a deep relationship based on trust and thoroughly enjoying each other. I would rather be happy and in love and poor as hell than miserable but surrounded by things that don't mean anything to me.
As for baggage, sure, we all have it, especially at this stage of our lives. I guess I prefer to think of it as wisdom, instead, though.
Times have changed and all. If a woman has the expectation that you 'should' pay for the pleasure of her company, then she's not terribly on the ball, and probably not worth your money.
Expect Dutch, especially on dates 1 through 3. If she tells you she has no money, then you can choose to be a gentleman, but for me? That's a red flag.
If she is annoyed by the expectation that you both pay ... then guess what? She isn't all that into you in the first place.
I'm telling you, the ice cream date is one of my favorites. I also do breakfast dates, which are usually more relaxed and less expensive.
Cooking together is almost always fun ... especially if you open a bottle of wine to boot.
Times have changed and all. If a woman has the expectation that you 'should' pay for the pleasure of her company, then she's not terribly on the ball, and probably not worth your money.
Expect Dutch, especially on dates 1 through 3. If she tells you she has no money, then you can choose to be a gentleman, but for me? That's a red flag.
Some have informed me that nowadays if the woman expects you to pay for the first date than you should expect to get sex (or atleast third base I'd hope) by the end of it. And yes I realize this sounds like prostitution. But if she protests having to pay for herself and you think its worth a romp with her I'd bring this idea up
Some have informed me that nowadays if the woman expects you to pay for the first date than you should expect to get sex (or atleast third base I'd hope) by the end of it. And yes I realize this sounds like prostitution. But if she protests having to pay for herself and you think its worth a romp with her I'd bring this idea up
Lol!!! So the "easy" girls will just leave their wallets at home! Got it!!!
I personally would love a cup of coffee date to sit and relax and talk. I love putt putt, hikes, dinner and a DVD. I'm a pretty cheap date. I think any woman would enjoy those things and not necessarily need to go out on an expensive date. I think you'd be ok! And if she's a good woman, she'd respect the fact that you have "baggage".
I have been wondering about the dating scene a lot lately too. Like I've said before, not that I think I'm ready as I've only been separated 6 months and still emotionally up and down, but just to go out with a guy casually would be new and interesting. Posted via Mobile Device
Yep, I'm wondering the same thing. Luckily, STBXH and I were poor when we dated, too, so we did about every free thing available and I was already a 2-for-1 coupon user. So in spite of what advice columns say, if a guy (that I knew had child support, etc., to pay) wanted to use a groupon or something like that, he11, I'd think he was just being smart.
And I fully expect to be paying my share on dates (cuz I don't want to be expected to put out, LOL).
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Dating After Divorce...??? 
