Tonight my ex asked me if she could take our son to the indoor playground he loves next weekend for a couple hours when I have him next weekend, and she wants to introduce him to her current bf. Ugh, I hate it. I'm glad she asked me, and I think she's been seeing the guy since at least January, I suppose she sees it as long term, but why the F would I give up my time with him so he can meet this guy?? I haven't replied to her text yet, but I know exactly why, its cause he is from out of town, and this way he can come down spend the day and night with her and feel like she is putting a family together. I think I'm going to say no, that I appreciate her asking but would prefer if she introduced him when she has custody and also remind her of no overnight visits with my son there as per the agreement.
Sorry just had to vent this. I'm open to any criticisms or comments.
I think that's absolutely fair enough - nice to see she's only thinking of herself!
and what a kid does not need is to see mummy with a string of different boyfriends so hope she doesn't treat this one like sh*t too...but it's unlikely isn't it
I think she has been careful so far to not introduce any of the string of casual encounters or whatever she has been up to, to our son. Its just this is the first one she feels is committed enough, I just don't understand how this is her preferred option, to have them meet now, when she doesn't have to introduce them. She is specifically wanting to introduce them. I presume this guy is going to be in her life on a consistent basis for some time, so i understand that inevitably they will meet and be around each other. Yet still it doesn't sit right with me. I suppose I could use this as an opportunity to meet this guy (not that I really want to) but I'm assuming that since my ex wants this she is eyeing him up as a potential stepfather for my child. Maybe that is over-dramatic, but overdramatic seems to be her new way. And as his mother she has the right to raise him according to how she sees fit too. this just kinda sucks. I think I will just tell her no, not on my time.
I think that's absolutely fair enough - nice to see she's only thinking of herself!
and what a kid does not need is to see mummy with a string of different boyfriends so hope she doesn't treat this one like sh*t too...but it's unlikely isn't it
ugh some women are such self obsessed nightmares
It's not only woman who can be self obsessed nightmares. There are just as many men who are just as bad.
I agree with you. There is no way that you should give up your time with your son so that your wife and have him meet a man she’s been dating for a very short time. Since it’s a long distance relationship their dating history is even less than if they lived in the same town and could see a lot of each other.
A child should not be brought into parent’s dating relationship until the parent has decided to marry the person they are dating. This is all just very wrong.
Lon: You're totally justified in the stance you have taken. It's bad enough that she wants your child to meet her latest "Stage-Door Johnny!" It's even worse that she want's to do this on your watch.
Why would you do anything. Anything at all to help her with anything she wants. The default answer should always simply be no unless it benefits you and your son. Posted via Mobile Device
I went through the same thing about 8 months ago. Yes, it does suck very much and it will be hurtful to you. However, part of the divorced life that she has chosen is not being able to see her kid at certain times and this would be one of them.
I don't play the "I have something planned" card. I just politely say no. I'm not going to make sh!t up or start playing games. Why should I ever have to explain myself? Not happening. My ex gave up that right a long time ago when she dropped her panties for another dude(s).
Sorry for the rant, but this is one topic that really bothers me since my ex and her affair partner moved in together 5 or 6 months after the divorce.
Given her history of selfishness and manipulation, I would not let her intrude into your time with your son. She lost the right to consideration from you, and you should show her the strong, confident Lon that you have become. It's all about you now. F her and her demands.
Just playing Devil's Advocate here - but I keep thinking that if this introduction is truly inevitable - is there some benefit to letting her do this and Knowing this initial visit will be limited to just an hour or so?
But - then again - if your son gets upset about it later and starts asking questions, that really shouldn't fall on your shoulders.
Just playing Devil's Advocate here - but I keep thinking that if this introduction is truly inevitable - is there some benefit to letting her do this and Knowing this initial visit will be limited to just an hour or so?
But - then again - if your son gets upset about it later and starts asking questions, that really shouldn't fall on your shoulders.
Just a little food for thought...
The introduction is not inevitable. There is a high possibility that this relationsihp will not last all that long. So delying the introduction is a good idea.
The introduction is not inevitable. There is a high possibility that this relationsihp will not last all that long. So delying the introduction is a good idea.
But you can only delay it a week - assuming she has him the following weekend. Right?
And even if every poster here agrees that she isnt going to marry this guy - all that matters is what she thinks - right or wrong.
As a "co-parent" - you can only do so much to protect your children from your Ex. Sadly - that was one of my motivations for wanting to stay married. I thought if we all still lived together, I'd have a bit more control over things.
Bottom line though - Lon - your time is your time. Say no and offer no reasons if that's what you feel is right.
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She wants our son to meet her bf 
