You need to stop thinking about the word 'relationship' in terms of how you used to think about it.
Just doesn't work that way any more.
I was in a great, six month relationship. If I count up the number of times we actually got together in that timeframe? It was maybe 30 at most. We probably averaged getting together 5 times per month. That included sleep-overs during the work week when she didn't have her daughter. Our kids never met while we were dating.
Time is a premium as a divorced, professional, part-time parent.
There isn't a lot of 'hanging out'. Everything is planned. I mean everything.
Good stuff, Deejo. Amazing how life changes the way we use to think about things, doesn't it?
I have a feeling I will continue with my 2 to 3 months on, 2 to 3 months off dating extravaganza. When my daughter gets a bit older and is able to think a little more on her own and starts to hang out with her "friends" and dad isn't as important then I will probably find the time to maybe settle down a bit. Until then, I think I just need to understand that it's ok to have some female companionship without getting serious as long as I let them know this up front. I can see how I need to change my thinking about this. Maybe become a "typical" guy?
Part of my problem....I always wanted a family. To have a couple of little rug rats running around and to be the all-American family. That dream got shattered and I feel it completely slipping away. Hard to take.
Part of my problem....I always wanted a family. To have a couple of little rug rats running around and to be the all-American family. That dream got shattered and I feel it completely slipping away. Hard to take.
Man, this is the hardest part for me too. I was so enchanted with living the dream and boy did I have it all. Shattered in every sense of the word. Financially even, now I won't be able to live the "picture" I had in my head.
It doesn't matter at all though. The dream is something new now. You don't have to be a typical guy. You just have to redefine the dream.
Typical guy? Beer swilling sit on his-ass-all-day bad boy type that gives no emotional attachment and uses women for sex. You know, the kind women fall all over themselves for, and forsake and betray the honorable ones for.
Hell, my ex apparently has "never been happier in her life"....
fking loser.. geezus.
This definition makes me so sad. I can not wait to find a man who is marriage and family minded. I keep finding nothing but selfish, immature boys...where are the real men???? Posted via Mobile Device
This definition makes me so sad. I can not wait to find a man who is marriage and family minded. I keep finding nothing but selfish, immature boys...where are the real men???? Posted via Mobile Device
Still married and getting sexually rejected by their wives ... but give it time. They'll be available soon enough
This definition makes me so sad. I can not wait to find a man who is marriage and family minded. I keep finding nothing but selfish, immature boys...where are the real men???? Posted via Mobile Device
I'm family minded - but my focus is on my two daughters. I also work long hours, so my free time lately has been very limited.
I'm sure as hell not "marriage minded"!!! At least not after the last several years!!! But that doesn't mean I don't believe in monogamy and faithfulness - even outside of marriage.
Interesting turn of phrase. I think I know exactly what you mean, but feel compelled to ask ... can you expand on that?
Deejo, I've been thinking about this for 2 days now and I'm still not 100% sure how to state it. I think I am going into each situation with women specifically looking for something to develop like a long term relationship. I still find myself looking for women slightly younger than myself and deep down I think I still have this agenda of this "happy family" in my head. Lot of pressure to put on someone, eh? LOL...
Guess when I state a "typical guy" it is not quite what Shoo's definition of this is above, but partially. Guess it means not putting all of my eggs in one basket right off the bat. Not worrying so much about finding "the one" and instead enjoy dating several until I find someone who is compatible.
Sometimes I do wish I was like Shoo's version of a "typical guy." I've passed up on opportunities to have sex with women because deep down I knew it wasn't going to work out and I just wanted sex. I didn't want to be like the "typical guy" and just use them and leave a week or two later.
I think what screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.
Honestly, I'm not sure what the point is in marriage anymore. It's basically like graduation from dating. I think my idea of marriage was "through thick and thin, til death" and all of that crap. Not sure I believe in that anymore. Especially since we live in this current "what have you done for me lately" society.
Had an awkward moment today. Was chatting with a gal online for a bit but she is a 31 yr old lady who has never had a relationship longer than a few months. Really hard to read her. Anyway, she was the one last weekend who suggested getting together Friday and Saturday nights and then stood me up on both of them. Then, there's another lady that works near where I work. I noticed her a couple of months ago and she is very attractive. I have a buddy who's dad is a manager there and asked him about her but never followed through with it.
Make a long story short, I'm shopping with my daughter this morning and I see this lady. Guess she stood and looked at me in just the right way because I suddenly realized it was the same person. She doesn't look anything like her online pics. I talked to her for a second and she put two and two together as well. At least I tried but I could tell she wasn't interested.
Oh well....But, my ego is definitely being deflated almost on a daily basis. I seriously don't get it.
43Likes
Re: All of this talk about dating...... 
