05-01-2012, 12:14 PM
Join Date: May 2012
| | new here with court questions
I have 2 different situations:
My ex husband and I divorced last year. I have since remarried. We were seperated for a long time before the divorce was final, mostly trying to sort the divorce out. I left my husband after finding out that he had opened up 18 credit cards in not only both of our names but some in my name without my permsission. He ran us in to debt that we could not even pay the mortgage. After he left the house I chose to do a loan modification to help with the $15,000 in back payments owed. I did this all on my own, and we are now caught up with the mortgage. Our divorce stated that I was to refianance immediately to remove ex's name. Ex and I both had to file for bankruptcy, and when I did I had no idea I could not refinance. I did reaffirm the mortgage. I assumed my new husband would be the main borrower and I would be to co-borrower since I had to be on the loan to refinance since I am on the title to the house. Well I can't! So now my ex is taking me back to court next week to set a timeline to refinance but since I have to wait until Feb 2014 to refi due to FHA regulations my attorney thinks the judge will order me to sell the house. This is the only house my kids have known. They walk to school, they walk to the park, we are surrounded by many friends and we are happy here. I worked so hard at keeping my house! This is the perfect white picket fence neighborhood. My husband has perfect credit so he can buy the house outright, HOWEVER there is a 10% down payment required with a loan from our credit union or if we do an FHA loan it is 3.5% down. We can't afford either. The FHA might be harder to get. We just spent $2000 on this attorney for court. Ex has other issues that are to be addressed at this court date, which are petty and stupid but I know I needed an atty.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what we could do? I lose sleep at night, I am cranky around my family, and I am stressed. I don't want my kids to see me like this. We are a very happy family (the kids are not fans of their dad which is NOT my doing). It would crush them to know he was doing this and we might lose the house. They are 8 and 10 and I have a newborn with my current husband.
We have ROFR in our court order. It states that any time day care or a third party person is needed to care for the children over 5 hours the parent using the opposing party shall have the right of first refusal.
Here is a huge issue. My ex husband has the kids for 5 weeks this summer. I am a stay-at-home-mom and he did not ask me to take the kids while he is at work. Instead he is putting them in many different camps. He refuses to tell me where they will be for 4 out of the 5 weeks, but for one week he told me they will be at a local day camp. I contact them to get info and they sent me their registration forms. Those forms state he will have the kids there from 6:45 am (pre care) to 5:30 pm (includes post care). The forms do NOT list me as mother or emergency contact. His girlfriend is listed as both of those, stating she is the step-parent but she is not. It states clearly that the children are not allowed to be released at any time to myself or my husband. It states they do not have any medical conditions. They both have asthma, my son is lactose intollerant, and my daughter has vasovagal (google it) and she even sees a cardiologist for that.
He is stating that they are camps...not day care. In my opinion almost 11 hours is way too long. They don't even want to go. My son attended this camp last year with a friend and almost drowned in the pool at the facility, even though he is on the swim team at school, there were way too many kids in the pool and someone jumped on him while jumping off the side of the pool.
I have an attorney who said my ex's attorney will fight this to the death, but he feels I am in the right. Our FOC agrees with me, but at the same time they have dual opinions quite often and I am afraid they also agree with ex.
Day camp is licensed, it is a tax right off and if they were not in camp they would be in day care. He is doing this to make me made, because he knows the kids are upset about being with him half the summer. They have not been away from me for greater than 2 days since the divorce.
Ex never uses ROFR, but I always use it if I have to go out of town or to a banquet or wedding. I am not seeing this as fair.