luvintokyo

Divorced since Sept, seperated for 18months, female but had been the sole provider for the last 18yrs. Just cut off his wireless a yr ago, cut his car insurance last month finally after he refused to pay our son's car insurance. He is still allowed in the house to see the kids, has my keys. He comes in the house when I am not there uses my stuff without telling me, is refusing to help with the 1st kid's college fees due in Sept. Does not pick the 3kids up every 2wks like he is supposed to and still believes he is the victim, I keep an open door to make it easy for the kids but getting increasingly frustrated, at the point of going for full custody and changing my locks. Advise needed.

PBear

What are the legalities of your divorce agreement? Get some advice from your lawyer about what your rights and obligations are, and start enforcing them.

As far as I would expect, once the divorce is finalized, he shouldn't have access to your house (nor you his), and your finances should be completely severed. Again, your divorce documents and your lawyer can guide you.

C
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PBear

Oh, and if you've been letting him walk all over you in the past, expect that to continue until you grow a backbone and stand up to him. You've trained him that this is the way to treat you. At this point, it would be up to you to start changing how you let him treat you.

C
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luvintokyo

I agree, kids let him in when I am around but you are right, need to stress things a little more.

babyowlsrcute

"stress things a little more" sounds a bit too weak - and I do not mean that as an insult - you have a court order that your marital relationship is over. I hope it stipulates exactly what he is responsible for including funding college and picking kids up. Your job is to enforce that, document when he is not following it, and reporting it if he is failing to live up to the order. He is not only walking all over you, he is doing the same to your kids. You can't be a nice gal with this.
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luvintokyo

He is way crazy just brought it up with him re obligations regarding kids, he cant understand why I cant understand he is in a transition, will go ahead and file for full custody re kids, time to move on.

papa5280

Going back to your title question: How do you humanely severe the links?"

Why are you worried about being humane? He's being a deadbeat on your kid's tuition, isn't meeting his obligations to pick up the kids and comes into YOUR home to use YOUR stuff. Why are you concerned about bending over backwards to be kind to him?

Change the locks & the garage code. If he asks you why, tell him it's because you were worried about intruders coming into your home when you're not there.

chattycathy

Change the locks.
Let the kids see him at his place, even if it is a rented room.

lamaga

Change the locks. Going for full custody is something you can still consider, but at least change the locks. That's a small step you can take right now which will improve your life.

luvintokyo

Called an attorney already, will change the locks pronto, already informed him to keep away. Will push for full custody and ask for more child support as he has chosen to remain uncooperative. He had the nerve to tell me to "do my worst" and that I need to understand that he is going through a transition. I guess I raised him that way. Sad it has to come to this.

luvintokyo

No more Mrs Nice Woman.

babyowlsrcute

Good for you. Listen to the lawyer. Don't be vindictive, just hold the line on what's required in your legal documentation. The law is on your side!
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spitfire008

Well well from a mans point of view I'm considered the disposable parent she needs 48 hours notice for me to see the kids maybe it's to clear away the guys in the home with the kids now. I took the tough stance I gave sole coustody less worry less drama, I was the do it all dad meals cleaning two jobs always around but it meant crap to them..it was ok for mom to stay for a week with divorced classmates. Can't lead the blind or those with no morals. I'm still laughing at the 'let's be civil' thing
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spitfire008

Oh I forgot only 32 hours after her 48 hour notice thing she was gone 4days that was quick and I guess she has a double standard or just needs a new clock
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