Divorce Final last month...moving on

aston · 05-31-2012, 01:35 PM

Sad but I've graduated to the Life after Divorce section. I haven't posted in a while, lots going on.
Settled into my new place, making plans to build a house next year and I suddently feel much more grounded.
In a very strange way she seems to respect me more now that we are divorced. That really baffles me!
Where did all the sudden respect come from? She calls to check in, asks if I have time, apologizes for bothering me, I always have the kids whenever I'm free, she even calls to ask questions about the most random things.
I really don't understand it!

lamaga · 05-31-2012, 01:36 PM

Ah, it's one of the mysteries of life.

Glad to hear that you are doing so well!

keko · 05-31-2012, 02:03 PM

Was cheating involved in this divorce?

lamaga · 05-31-2012, 02:04 PM

Keko, what difference does it make at this point? Are you just longing to rub salt into the wound?

keko · 05-31-2012, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lamaga

Keko, what difference does it make at this point? Are you just longing to rub salt into the wound?

No, if it was it would make sense "the grass wasn't greener on the other side" so she's fishing to get back in.

aston · 05-31-2012, 02:21 PM

yes cheating was involved which brings me to another issue. When women cheat they always find a way to rationalize it by blaming the guy for not being emotionally available or some other excuse. But if it's the man cheating we are simply labeled as*holes. She gave every reason to justify......and was gung ho about the divorce. Well I gave her the house (she's the mother of my children after all and her well being is in teh interest of the children) plus a generous child support plan. All by choice and not court ordered (she would have gotten a crappy deal through court).
Now she's super nice? it completely astounds me!!!

THere was also the boundary issues with her family etc but thats a whole other basket of balls on it's own.

I feel relieved more than anything......no more what if's or why's and whens. Just clarity.

lamaga · 05-31-2012, 02:22 PM

Aston, relieved and clarity are good. Very very good.

Go with that.

keko · 05-31-2012, 02:58 PM

Just ignore her when she brags about random things. Keep it strictly text/email regarding only the kids and finances.

I think the less you expose yourself to her, the faster you can heal and move on.

I also agree on the male/female affair having different excuse's.