Shoeguy

Not sure but seems my ex has rose colored glasses on.

Ex's number one priority in the divorce was to have custody of the kids (13.5 & 16). Long story short I agreed and I now get them every other weekend and one day a week. That was a year and a half ago.

She has now started to ask me to help out with getting them places they need to go like shopping or extra-curricular activities on her nights. Which I have no issues with because it is like an extra day or time with them.

Just venting but it was her election to be a single parent not mine. I'm trying to cut those last few feelings I have for her and wish she would just not ask. On the other hand I hate that the kids would be in the middle of something they had no control over. I realize they already are but I'd like to make it as manageable as possible for them.

Just kind of pissed I guess.

Oh, FYI over the weekend we both attended a mutual friends party with our new mates. My ex had never met my GF and sat right down next to her and started talking to her like they were old lost friends. WTF!!! My GF handled it well and we talked about it afterwards but she was a little uncomfortable to say the least.

Hope all is well. Off to Barnes & Noble with my daughters.

Shoeguy

one_strange_otter

My advice is to do what I'm planning on doing. Make a calendar and note every time she can't handle the kids on her own time without your help. But doesn't sound like you should worry too much. The older one will be driving soon and I'm sure mom will have her doing most of the chauferring. Yours are old enough that it won't be much longer and you'll be through with it. In my case all mine are under 12 so I'll be dealing with her tardiness and "sick days" for a long time. I've been told to just document all of it and if the time starts swinging too far away from what was agreed you go back to court, show it to the judge, and ask for it to be changed.

lamaga

Ugh. My H goes thru the same thing with the ex...it's all legalistic when she wants them, and when it's not convenient for her, then...

well, the good thing is that you get to see more of them! Think of it that way! But yes, document.

lamaga

Ugh. My H goes thru the same thing with the ex...it's all legalistic when she wants them, and when it's not convenient for her, then...

well, the good thing is that you get to see more of them! Think of it that way! But yes, document.

keko

Are you paying a decent amount of child support?

Shoeguy

Keko, I'm paying over $1200/month in child support. I haven't missed a payment and been paying since Jan 2011.

I guess I'm not interested in documenting the time I spend with my girls to try and reduce or take back money. That hopefully wasn't how I came accross. I was just kind of venting. My financial life is in the crapper. I've tried to figure it out but even a DMP is too expensive for me right now. So I have to pursue a different avenue I guess. Maybe a second job or sell my house and move in with the parents. I have 2 years left for support for my first child so in life terms two years is a short amount of time before the pressure is releived some.

On the birght side, last night was fun with my 16yr old even if it cost me 2 gallons of gas and $20 for a summer reading book that couldn't be found in the library or at half priced books. Driving to the book store we talked one on one. Yesterday was her last day of 10th grade. We got into a conversation about freindships and that somehow spiralled into a conversation about over-coming self improsed fears like shyness. I also got to talk to her about how the weekend when and the party where her mom and my GF were in attendance at the same time. She said she had a good time and enjoys spending time with my GF. That was something nice to hear.

Tonight it is off to two bball games with my 13yr old. These will be her first two games playing in the HS arena so somewhat of a big deal for her. At least I think a big deal. She pointed it out that her tema are freshman and they are going up against soph and juniors tonight.

I'm learning to talk to my kids in more of an advisory role which means I get to help them out with problems they are having. I tell them my take on the situation and try and give them an example of how I have dealt with something similar explaining the outcome of my choices and whether or not I liked the results. I kind of enjoy that actually. Discipline was never my strong suit. My oldest actaully posted on FB that she hated when her father talked reason with her and she agreed with me after the conversation and didn't get the 2yr gym membership that was on sale for only that day and she needed $200. LOL

Take care,

Shoeguy

Shooboomafoo

Glad to hear you are doing better Shoe, and that them kids talk with you like it should be. Really good things amidst all the chaos.

__________________
His delay, is not a denial.

keko

That's the tactic of every nutjob. Get the most child custody for the highest $$. Then dump the kids on someone else to be "free". At least you're having good time with the kids.