How long do affair relationships last after divorce?
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Life After Divorce » How long do affair relationships last after divorce?

Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 06-05-2012, 04:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How long do affair relationships last after divorce?

I get that the affair partner creates this persona of being the absolutely perfect - better than you could ever be, and tries as hard as they can for as long as they can to keep the act up. So how long does this charade last before there is trouble in paradise and their cover is blown.... the "I can't believe I fell for YOU". I'm thinking 1-2yrs before the Prince charming turns into a royal pain and the relationship ends badly.

About my situation.....
My wife of three years constant support in a military relationship cheated on me about a month after discharge, and then divorced me a year later for the OM the day she graduated college. The OM is somewhat of a childish, druggy, emo ,loser, rock star wannabe, and a fry cook. My ex wife is a kindergarten teacher and devote Catholic and I fear being influenced by this so called perfect guy. As far as I can tell, she's moved in with him and sheltered herself off from close friends and family that don't support their relationship. And I hear that they're parting a lot on what little money they make.

I'm curious as to how long this relationship will last given that it started out as an affair and the OM will likely not support her. I miss my ex wife and would like to talk to her in about a year or so, but not to reconcile or get her back anymore. Yeah, already tried through divorce busters MC, dozens and dozens of book, and a couple thousand in plane tickets and feeding her starving family - something the OM would never do.

I wanna guess a year after divorce, but I could be wrong.
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Old 06-05-2012, 04:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How long do affair relationships last after divorce?

I'm just wondering... If you have no desire to reconcile when her relationship ends, then why talk to her?

My dad cheated (prolifically) on my mother. His last AP also became his wife (#3), and they've now been married almost 20 years... :/
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Old 06-05-2012, 04:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How long do affair relationships last after divorce?

Somewhere inside I still do have a desire to reconcile, but only as friends for a while. It took a lot for me to trust her as much as I did and she doesn't deserve my trust again without earning it.

I just know how she is and every time I think I'm rid of her she calls me, even when I told her on numerous occasions to give me time and space. And this has been going on off an on for over a year now.

I doubt she's marry this D-bag, but I wouldn't put it past him to try to knock her up to keep her..... that's why I said "friends first".
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Old 06-05-2012, 06:31 AM   #4 (permalink)
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My ex married the girl that moved in 3 days after I left. It's been 18 years. However, he has had several affairs on her. I know of 3, but I can guarantee there are more.
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Old 06-05-2012, 07:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How long do affair relationships last after divorce?

That really sucks IILWMH! Could be he found someone more willing to put up with him and keep up hope, but I really feel for her having to actually put up with with all those affairs.

That's one thing I just won't take from my ex wife, and even if reconciliation happened I would never marry her again. She blew that deal when she lied to me every chance she got about her affairs and sold the rings.

I'm a very patient and understanding man who would have accepted the honest answer without lashing out. Lying to my face when I can read every micro expression and have more evidence than she can could hide just p!ssed me off.

And my mother was a jewelry dealer.... I could have gotten more than I paid for her jewelry if she would have sold them to me in the first place. Believe me, I did offer to buy them back but she prefered to gaslight me day and night and now she's shunned by her family. KARMA!
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Old 06-05-2012, 07:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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My ex h confessed his affairs to my child at 14/15 years of age. I was furious and shocked that this conversation took place. He was pretty detailed with his conversation. Of course, I had to confront them on this, I went straight to the wife. Told her the details, he even acknowledged I was telling the truth. Well, this whole situation got out of hand. His wife called me screaming at me telling me I was trying to ruin their marriage. Duh, I had details and he acknowledged them right over the phone while she was listening. I could care less about them or their marriage. I was furious that he told a child this when he is suppose to be setting a good example as a biological father. Needless to say, he cut ties with my child and now hates her. He blames her also, for trying to ruin their marriage. My ex has treated my daughter very poorly over the years treating her worse then a rat. Do I feel sorry for the wife? No, absolutely not! She was sleeping with him while we were married and he was sleeping with at least 2 of her good friends. She knew this as they were fighting over my ex. I found this after my divorced when I ran into her ex friends. This should of been her first clue. I was very young at the time, a couple years just out of high school.

I have learned my lesson! I remarried a wonderful man. He has raised my daughter well and has shown her how a real man treats his wife and children.
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Old 06-05-2012, 07:37 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How long do affair relationships last after divorce?

God, I hope something good is in store for me.
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