Hoosier

31 years ago tomorrow, I married the love of my life. Even tho last year in July I discovered she was having an affair with a good friend of mine...... I still miss her. Have been doing pretty well last six months (D was final 10/3/2011) with travels to Texas, California, Las Vegas, and Florida three times to see my granddaughter. But for some reason the last week has been slowly closing in on me. I picked up my workout routine, quit drinking anything alcoholic, but still the weight of sadness sits squarely on my shoulder. It does not help that she and the POS she is living with, are only 5 blocks from my home and I am constantly on the look out for him and his Jeep so I dont accidently run into them. I laugh a bit when I see them together, she is 52 he is 65, she is angry all the time, he is just an idiot. Funny that I have yet to see her without him, but knowing her reputation I wouldnt let her out of my sight either if I were him. Its just tough sitting here waiting for the relief promised by time. Just when I start to see improvement, another important date arrives and I go back into a funk. Would someone please wave a magic wand over me so I can escape these feelings? Please?

Shaggy

Send her roses with the flowers cut off.

Sending him an empty box labelled your morals.
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Why Not Be Happy?

Maybe a little short term counseling? It'll probably just take a little longer. You've done well!

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

You had a lifetime together. I can't imagine those feelings and memories would fade quickly unless you were emotionally disconnected when you parted your ways. Living so close is not helping either.

When I first moved into this neighborhood, a neighbor of mines wife moved just down the street. I thought it was very odd she moved so close. This woman went from a respectable successful man to an angry abusive person. I wouldn't even call him a man. It just floors me when someone has it so good, they mess it up. Eventually they foreclosed and they had to relocate.

Good luck in the future. I don't have that magic wand you need.

Shooboomafoo

Hoosier, you know my story, the ex was right across the street from my new house for overnights with her new bf, who was living with a buddy of his who owned the house there. In my attempts to enjoy my Saturday mornings, cup of coffee just poured, I'd walk out on the front porch, and there was her car in his driveway. I thought all about shoving a potato in his exhaust pipe.

But the kicker was about two months later he moves into my old marital home with my ex and my daughter.

So, anyways, its been nine months now since the divorce. Ive been really lonesome on the days I dont have my girl, and yet dont feel much impetus to run out there and try to find new friends and/or do a whole lot. I am still grieving. Some days are just fine, I feel great, no thoughts of loss or limbo at all. But other times, and most recently my downer days have been about the "right now" for me, and what can I do to kickstart my new life, because I feel like Im suspended in jello and absolutely nothing seems to be gaining steam.

I guess I gotta figure out how to get out there and make something happen for me. I have no idea where to start, but Ive attended a couple of gatherings, and think I am beginning to grasp the finality and scope of the last couple of years of my life.

I hope you can find some peace and personal strength among these days. The additional insult of seeing your ex around the neighborhood is universally unfair.

__________________
His delay, is not a denial.

ing

Yeah. I know how you feel. Despite "getting on with life" the days come around. It was my wedding anniversary yesterday too. 25 years to the day. It an odd feeling to realize that part of your life is over.

I went for a little walk in a park we liked yesterday.

Saw my favorite trees, the kids playground I had spent so much time in. The paths we had walked so often as the kids learned to ride their bikes. then I noticed the not so nice bits, the worn out furniture, the un-cared for pond, cracked paving and the barely hidden toilet block.

I stood and looked for a long time from the gate.

A little smile caught me unawares as I thought of this park as a park we had built as a life together.

I decided as I walked out of that gate, those 25 years would be still with me, as a memory and a place that I cold visit. Not my life though. My life is outside the park gate with whatever that brings.