So the things surrounding my love life are just crazy... dated a woman 6 months after separation, different cultures, she's got issues but seemed like a really cool lady stuck in bad circumstances. Turns out she just makes horrible decisions though, and decided it would be ok to approach my ex W without my knowledge and receive esthetics services and reciprocate by doing threading and manicure on her, the ex loves it so much she hires her.
This woman couldn't understand why I was so angry about this decision, so I ended it. Was kind to her, she is still lonely and I occasionally get messages from her, saying how I'm her best friend (kinda stalkerish) I mostly ignore them. She is facing legal charges because her ex is a d!ck and wouldn't see his own daughter, so she tried to get him to, was having a breakdown and her daughter was misbehaving, she held her tight to keep her from running away and someone called 911 for child abuse.
But I believe this woman, and have pity for her story. Turns out when I read the story in the paper the assault charge was actually a blow to her daughters head. (now I would still have some pity for her, she was at her ropes end, but her poor daughter does not need to be abused). Her daughter was put in custody of the father (who originally didn't want her) and he refused to let her see her, except there was court order for 6 months of supervised visits. He also had a restraining order on her. She broke the court order when she saw her daughter at the public pool and went to hug her, and so her ex had police charge her. I have also seen her around other kids and she seemed obsessed but I attributed that to her missing her own daughter.
Anyway, too much drama for me. Then, after last week's drama with my ex introducing our son to her bf, it kinda struck me that I don't trust this lady around my son and I didn't want my ex to assume I was comfortable with this lady (who I no longer trust and whose motives I question) so I texted my ex W let her know my stance on the issue.
And of course, today I get a message from this lady and she is P!SSED off at me, I can only presume my ex, who is now her close friend and employee, showed her the text.
I am just ignoring the po'd message but if she cusses at me like that again I will tell her to talk respectfully or else I will report harassment to police, but it hasn't gotten to that point yet. Thing is if you think about it, this was a private conversation between my ex and I about our son, she really has no business sharing this with others, if anything my ex W instigated all this drama by even showing her the message, there was no reason to and no good was to come of it, I had already stopped contact with this lady.
Anyways I just had to vent this cause its been upsetting me all night. What the hell is wrong with these people - I know FOR SURE I am not in the wrong on this... my ex was being completely inappropriate for setting this up to watch it burn. I'm not really surprised though, but my son's safety and well being far outweighs what I think of some crazy person.
OMG Lon it just sounds so unlike you to be involved with a woman like that. Glad you decided it wasn't for the best. Don't make allowances for women who seem to be in bad circumstances. Even women who are there legitimately would get things sorted out before starting a relationship, they would be too busy getting their sh*t together to really give any man the time of day other than just casual social interaction. I learned an acronym today at a women's leadership summit: QTIP which stands for quit taking it personally. These women are your ex's for a reason, and it makes perfect sense that they would get along. Don't forget, when people become your ex, they still have all the qualities and behavior patterns that made them your ex, you just have extra wiggle room to work on your own response to the crazy situations they create when you try to act reasonably. Glad you took a giant step backwards. Good for you for acting to advocate for your son. I had to tell my kids' dad under no circumstances did I agree with my ex's plan to go through my kids' dad to have contact with them. I told him since this was my ex I got to make the decision and I did not have to explain it to him, just to respect and honor it or I would take action to have his parenting called into question. (And I don't make threats I won't carry through.)
Just to update this thread, I texted my ex W last night and said in the future I want private conversations about co-parenting to remain between us, especially if it going to cause someone unnecessary distress. And I understand why that lady was hurt, because I put into question her decency, but it was never really about HER it was about making sure my son's mom was not making assumptions about my parental prerogatives, it was about communicating with my ex.
I hope she took the hint that it was HER FAULT this lady got riled up, but my intent wasn't to accuse just to get her on the same page as me.
Strangely, yes and no... I was intrigued, really liked her at first, started getting to know her then it got sexual and I found her VERY attractive at the time - even though at points after she really wasn't my type at all, at some moments I almost was repulsed but then I'd be so turned on, perhaps she had some potent pheromones or something. She was thin and curvy though and that was a new novelty to me, touch was driving me wild.
But all that attraction disintegrated severely the moment she told me she was gonna work with my ex. Then after I asked her not to she said she wouldn't but lied and did anyway, then tried apologizing (while at the same time writing on the ex's fb wall how wonderful they thought each other were). I have no idea what her motives were, it is completely baffling to me. Then she has still been writing to me the past few months how I'm the best she had, her best friends etc... I guess trying to lure me back or something
The drama queens that I know are addicted to it. It's their drug of choice. If there isn't drama they will for sure stir some up. Normal to them = boring. It's kinda sad actually that these women can't just BE without some constant stimulation of some sort.
Oh, and speaking from experience, if you find someone who is sane and compatible, make sure they don't come with crazy accessories (i.e. friends and close relatives.) If your mate goes down (i.e. in my case, brain hemorrhage), and you're not married, guess who you get to deal with? Or if things go well, guess who's coming to dinner? I have to deal with a crazy woman and I wasn't even invovled with her!!!!! WTF. Latest thing is she left a vm on my cell that says they cannot find coma boy's kayak and silver belt buckle and if these items do not 'turn up' she will have no choice but to report them stolen to the police. I have not seen them. I wish I had, my immediate future might be more uneventful.
Sometimes just being in a sexual relationship can trigger the crazy in someone, man or women. Those times you just don't know til you're there, so yep, good to have a plan of action. A lot of people turn off their 'bad relationship' detectors after they have committed by being intimate...but this is the one time you really need to turn up the volume on listening in for those things.
I remember this post so I had to come back and read it again, some people just wallow in drama like it's a hobby.
I have gone out with a gal 4 times in the last couple of weeks and all has been well, actually very well, until just now. I am still at work but just checked my home e-mail and can't believe the message she sent me today. Medical problems, kid problems, ex problems, money problems, 500 words of why me and please come save me.
My reaction? I'm out, flip the switch to off! lol Way to early to be laying all her negitive drama crap on me. Shame on me maybe but divorce has hardened this old boy.
Lon I'm with you brother, at this point we can pick how we want to live and who we invite into our life, ain't it great?