Tips on first date after seperation from wife
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Life After Divorce » Tips on first date after seperation from wife

Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 06-12-2012, 01:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Tips on first date after seperation from wife

Well im 29 now and its only been 5 months since wife and i called it quits. I was going to wait a year or so and actually had no interest in meeting someone but hey, i have.

Just looking for some tips on first date ideas/and how to handle this. Normally i wouldnt ask id judt do, but its been 6 years + since my last date with someone else. Now i have baggage so to speak.

- im 29, met girl 22 at work. thought we hit it off and something was there but didnt take notice as it was only 4 months after seperation and wasnt trying to look.

- caught up a few times at work and get along great and are attracted to eachother, flirting has started.

- got asked by this girls best friend last night, 'When im a going to date her" and am i interested becasue all of her friends can see the chemistry there nd the way we look at eachother. replied im intersted but obviously have ex wife which they all knw about anyway. She then said, it will happen but just take it slow.....


Now, must admit i was stoked. Happy that i wasnt imagining this. Now what should be my next aim without it getting awkward at work which i dont think it will. Personally i was thinking of just waiting a bit as friend suggested and letting her and her friends orgabise something when shes ready. or then again i could just ask her on a date in the next couple of weeks?

And by chance she met my daughter last week and thought she was cute. I guess im worried that shes 22 and would be dating a guy who is 29. although im a young 29 and shes a mature 22
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:08 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

Don't poop where you work. Never a good idea. Sucks, but that's my 2 cents.

And you are 29 She is 22. I guess I forgot what that's like (being so young) but I wouldn't have much interest in a 22 year old...but I'm old. LOL! Drama will come.

Don't get your kids involved either. When you date, keep it just you and your date...kids don't need to meet anyone for a long time.
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

Make your first date a casual one.

Out for coffee and desert? Or if there is something like a car show, a wine festival, arts fair.

This way you can talk to her, see her in a different, non-work environment, and not put yourself out too much.

Also, I'd be very careful of introducing anyone you date to your child until you have been together for at least a year. This can really confuse a child. You might end up dating a few women before you meet the right one. Do you really want your daughter to see you having one gf after another? Not good.
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

Be confident, make it a casual one...Show her that you are in this business from a long time...
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Old 06-12-2012, 08:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

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Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
Don't poop where you work. Never a good idea. Sucks, but that's my 2 cents.

And you are 29 She is 22. I guess I forgot what that's like (being so young) but I wouldn't have much interest in a 22 year old...but I'm old. LOL! Drama will come.

Don't get your kids involved either. When you date, keep it just you and your date...kids don't need to meet anyone for a long time.


I always say.."Don't poop in your own bed".

I contemplate dating at times. Problem is, the people I'm attracted to and like are in my social circle and friends..and friends with my friends. Dating them isn't an option because if it doesn't work out you've essentially turned your social life into a mess.

I put work in the same category. I work alone and for myself so that's not an issue but I'd never date my coworkers.

And 22/29 isn't horrible but it's a spread and if you are thinking about settling down and she wants to go out and party, as most 22 year olds do, it can be a problem.

Definitely heed the advice given to you about introducing your children to any dates. Keep your relationship to yourself and don't involve your young children in them.
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Old 06-13-2012, 08:16 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

good points - at this stage im just happy to get to kno her outside of work. her friends on the weekend told me she wants to date me but she is shy and leave it to them. IS strange as shes not shy around me but i guess prob worried.

anyhow saw her on facebook today, we never talk on that thing. she said hello and we chatted for 5mins then i asked for her number. then nothing.

hmmm. i thought strange but hey. will leave next move to her.
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:00 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

that girls advice sorta wins at this stage: She didnt give me her number although i only asked online,(i didnt think it was a big deal).

Then we have work midyear party. I didnt to today as sporting commitments but caught up later at bar with all of them. Soon as she sees me she is straight to me BUT she is pissed and just had a fight with her best friend and is alleged to have been flirting beforehand at the party with someone else.

straight away i though the 22 - 29 issue. She was acting like a 22 year old. I sort of ignored her the rest of the night although i was only there an hour and had 2 beers. Bit dissapointing but ill just do as i use to i think, dont approach girls/ let them approach me if interested.

I think this little crush is almost over b4 it started, just got bad vibes when she was drunk, then again if id been there all day i pprobably would have been drunk too
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:06 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

Before you go on the date do this homework:

Come up a with a set of things to talk about that don't involve exW, kid, divorce. Make them positive, good feeling things.

Keep them in your head and each time you find yourself slipping into talking about exW, kid, D - stop and bring out the good topic.
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:10 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

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. Soon as she sees me she is straight to me BUT she is pissed and just had a fight with her best friend and is alleged to have been flirting beforehand at the party with someone else.

straight away i though the 22 - 29 issue. She was acting like a 22 year old. I sort of ignored her the rest of the night although i was only there an hour and had 2 beers. Bit dissapointing but ill just do as i use to i think, dont approach girls/ let them approach me if interested.

I think this little crush is almost over b4 it started, just got bad vibes when she was drunk, then again if id been there all day i pprobably would have been drunk too
STOP - you are so over thinking!

This is your first dating experience after sep.

so what if she's 22. You're not moving in together. You are going out to have fun.

even if you totally hit it off, it would be years before anything like permanent commitment would be on the table and she'd be an older different her then. Right now she's 22 and trying to enjoy life. You should be trying to do the same at 29. So chill and live a little.
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:41 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

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Don't poop where you work. Never a good idea. Sucks, but that's my 2 cents.

And you are 29 She is 22. I guess I forgot what that's like (being so young) but I wouldn't have much interest in a 22 year old...but I'm old. LOL! Drama will come.

Don't get your kids involved either. When you date, keep it just you and your date...kids don't need to meet anyone for a long time.
Really Really good advice.
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Old 06-18-2012, 05:21 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Tips on first date after seperation from wife

good advice shaggy i think - i guess i am over thinking 24 hours on from event.

one of her friends comments gets me thinking though " she is so into you, we can all see it -theres so hiding it.....but you know whats she like with these kinds of things just let us handle it" hmmm

well no i dont know what she is like with these kinds of things. Well i did know that she never gets a boyfriend or picks up, which is strange because she is sexy. iM half guessing she is scared of dates or flings or whatever.

sometimes i think its easier just to pick up a random and sleep with her but no, this girl isnt like that which is a good thing, but its harder if you know what i mean
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