06-12-2012, 05:26 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
| | Ex wants to move with the kids. Please advise.
I stumbled on this website while browsing around and I think itís great to have so many marriage/divorce-related issues discussed here. I have a dilemma that I am going through and I would appreciate your advice.
I am divorced with children. My ex has been living in the same city I am living in since divorce happened a couple of years ago. She was going to grad school meanwhile and she just graduated. My ex wants to move with the kids to another city to pursue another degree. We have joint custody.
I have been happily providing for the kids in the past years, with more than what the child support amount is. It has worked fine so far with them staying with her most of the time and with me visiting them as many times as I/they need, which worked out to be about 3 times a week or so.
Now she wants to leave and take them, but she wonít have enough financial support for her own needs in the new location (she is terrible with budgeting). She expects me to provide residence and whatever enough support. While I realize that she would want to move on with her life, I donít like the idea of the kids living away from me. There is so much history and issues with her living alone with them that it would take very long to write them here, but I should say that she has been through depression and some psychological issues in the past (e.g., believing that she is possessed, having tantrums, etc.). I am not sure whether she really believes in that or whether she is making it up to complicate things for me. I have conveyed to her that I think if she wants to move that she needs to find a job that can support her and not put more burden on me financially, while enduring the separation from my children and worrying about them (I feel I would basically be screwed twice).
Do I have the right to prevent her from moving? On one hand I feel that I am not in the position to decide for her, but on the other hand I feel that her move by herself would be the start of so much trouble.
Doesnít she have to have financial stability for her to take a relocation decision? The move would be very expensive and especially with the travel requirements for visitation, etc.
Has anyone of you dealt with a similar situation before?
I donít want to be unfair, and I donít want for me and the kids to suffer either. I am lost in all the overwhelming details and pressure.
Please let me know your thoughts.