Marriage too risky?
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Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 06-13-2012, 11:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Marriage too risky?

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed being married but considering the financial hardships that ensue from divorce, doesn't it make marriage a very risky proposition?
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Old 06-13-2012, 11:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

We went into marriage with nothing. lol. So, it wasn't that risky.
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Old 06-13-2012, 11:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

I'd like to see an actuary run the risk vs reward scenarios
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Old 06-13-2012, 11:31 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

Yep. But then, life is a very risky proposition.
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Old 06-13-2012, 11:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

It can. I speak from having a divorce under my belt. But honestly you have to out weight the good with the bad sometimes you know?
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Old 06-13-2012, 11:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

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Yep. But then, life is a very risky proposition.
Excellent point lamaga.
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Old 06-13-2012, 11:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

If my marriage had ended at the affair I wouldn't have regretted the marriage. I enjoyed most of the ride after all.
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Old 06-13-2012, 11:52 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

I would hope that I am smarter about finances and marriage now that I have been through it once. I don't think I would hesitate marrying again if the right person came along and we were on the same page regarding finances.

Big mistake I made the first time around was building a house that depended on both of our incomes. If we would have just stayed in the first home then I could have paid for it myself. From here on out I will never sign my name to a loan without being able to afford the payments on my own.

I also will never have just one joint account where all money goes to that one account. I will have my own account, a joint account, and expect my significant other to have her own account. That way at the end of the month I can put my extra money wherever I want to put it.

Sad that I have actually thought about these things but lets face it, marriage is not a lifetime decision anymore. It is an extension of dating that says "I will stay with you as long as my rewards are greater than my pain." At least, that's the way I see it now.
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Old 06-14-2012, 10:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

Quote:
Originally Posted by morituri View Post
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed being married but considering the financial hardships that ensue from divorce, doesn't it make marriage a very risky proposition?
I hear you. And it's not just the financial hadship that ensues--it's the emotional fall out, the disentangling of 2 lives (the life you knew), the beginning all over again.

I really really do not think I would do it again. My opinion of marriage has changed significantly since my divorce.
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Old 07-12-2012, 07:49 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I hear you. And it's not just the financial hardship that ensues--it's the emotional fall out, the disentangling of 2 lives (the life you knew), the beginning all over again.

I really really do not think I would do it again. My opinion of marriage has changed significantly since my divorce.
I agree and that is why I am in no hurry to get married again, at least not in the near future.

After going through the death of my first wife and the divorce from my cheating second wife, "happily ever after" has joined the ranks of the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy and Santa Claus.
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Old 07-12-2012, 07:55 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

I've heard my husband say this, too. He lost hundreds of thousands getting divorced, and had to start all over again...I try not to think of the $ side of things too much. Marriage is more than just money! (but it would sure be nice to have a little extra!)
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Old 07-12-2012, 02:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

I think at an early age marriage is a risk worth taking. For me I wanted to build a life that included a wife and kids and house, vacations, animals, a family nucleus per say and life would branch out from there.

But now, divorced male 51 years old having been there done that, what's my motovation? Conpanionship? Dogs are great at that! Sex? Heck I only think about that once a day at my age, no big deal there. The goals and wants and needs are so different at this point, never say never but I'm not sure what would make me want to get married again. Maybe a really awesome friendship, someone with a personality I couldn't get enough of.
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Old 07-14-2012, 04:12 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

If purely your "risk" in marriage is the financial hardships of a potential divorce, perhaps get a prenup.

That's what I am doing. I am engaged and have discussed finances. He was cool with it. It gives me security as I was married for 25 years previously. If I could get divorced anyone could....so I will do it for the peace of mind.

Prenups aren't only for the "rich and famous."
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Old 07-16-2012, 12:03 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Marriage too risky?

Marriage--too risky emotionally
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Old 07-16-2012, 12:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by lamaga View Post
Yep. But then, life is a very risky proposition.
Most definately so why make it even riskier by marrying?
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