justwhy

Do you Love your Kids More than You Hate your Ex? | Coaching For Change

Do you love your kids more than you hate your ex?

confused:

nice777guy

Why confused?

Its about letting go of your Ex and focusing on your kids.

My Ex told the girls last week that she would take them to get their ears pierced one day. It was very tempting to tell them "I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you" - but I didn't. Ten days later - no ears are pierced.

This would be the perfect opportunity for me to explain to the kids that their mother is lazy and selfish. But going that route would only hurt the kids more, while having little affect on my Ex.

Or, I could call up my Ex and remind her of how irresponsible and lazy she is. But that would do no good either.

I just try to make the times I'm with my girls as good as they can be - which means talking about their mother as little as possible.

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“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity!" - Carlin

lamaga

Well done, Nice. They will figure out soon enough a) which parent is reliable and b) which parent does NOT bash the other one.

nice777guy

Just not always easy - being the "good" one...

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“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity!" - Carlin

lamaga

God, don't I know it...I'm the bystander, my H is the "good" one. They will never know how much he swallows just to keep peace for them.

WokenUP

That was the one piece of advice I'm glad I got before I filed, never ever say anything bad in front of the kids about their mother. Ever.

Very difficult, but worth it in the long run and for the kids sake with their relationship with each of us

working_together

I liked that article, I've read tons of stuff about that, but it's a good reminder that kids are the ones that suffer quite a bit in separation and divorce. It always seems like one partner just can't get it, and puts their own selfish needs ahead of the kids. They don't even realize what they're doing.

I hate my ex, yep, it's a pretty harsh word, but I say nothing to to the kids about him. All I ever say is that their father and I just couldn't get along(they're young) enough to stay together. He's done some incredible stuff to me in the last 5 months that would make anyone go ape sh*t, but I keep my mouth shut in front of the kids.