What's the most important thing you learned after divorce?
What's the ONE thing you took away from divorce that you would have never have if you were still married?
For me it was patience with others and myself. I used to be such a d!ckhead when I was in the Navy and found myself trying to control every little situation. When something didn't go as planned or I had to waste my time I was easily set off by the littlest things. Now I can listen to people ramble on for hours and still find interest, I can be standing in line for hours and not care, and I don't even get mad or yell all that often. It's just too bad my WW couldn't wait to divorce or she'd appreciate these changes.... oh well, more where that one came from!
Re: What's the most important thing you learned after divorce?
im only seperated not divorced.
but thisquestion popped into my head tonight.
still see my wife as we get a long as we have daughter. last 2 weeks seeing the old wife i use to love and enjoy company.
but again tonight saw the depressive, negative,sad, sooky, ***** wife and realise her sadness/depression brings me down too.
so the lesson i spose is, be around positive people
Re: What's the most important thing you learned after divorce?
Two things for me. Firstly, I've learned that the concept of marriage in today's modern western society isn't worth the paper its written on, and secondly, I have learned never to commit so deeply to someone that you have to compromise your own identity past a certain point (although I am still aware all relationships require some form of compromise).
Don't get me wrong; I'd love to have a meaningful loving relationship in future - but I feel I'll now be more aware of my own boundaries and any requirement to sign on the dotted line will be one such boundary.
I think I will take a lot of positive points away from this whole traumatic experience - I think I'll be more confident about what I want going forward...I also feel I'll be able to recognize certain trigger points - but next time around, I think I will be able to be much more open and expressive about my feelings and will be able to seek to address them as they come up.
Re: What's the most important thing you learned after divorce?
Trust in myself, sense of compassion for myself, patience, like you said. It does improve relationships of all sorts and circumstances. I also learned emotional control, feeling an emotion, even a strong one, or groups of them in a mix, and not needing to necessarily take immediate action on it, but just acknowledging the emotion and if it's on the overwhelming side, taking control of it.
Re: What's the most important thing you learned after divorce?
I learned a lot of things that i consider important.
I learned how to accept myself for who i am and not who someone else thinks I should be.
I learned the importance of being fair and having discussion vs having arguments.
the most important thing i learned was just because someone was right for me when i was in my twenties doesn't guarantee we'll grow together and be right for each other when we're older.
This is something I have wandered. Age 33, married for 13 years and my wife told me she's moving out its time. At the moment learning I can't control everything, if I try ill go nuts. I hope I learn something positive that will help me be a better all round person.
Re: What's the most important thing you learned after divorce?
I learned that I lost myself in the roles of husband, provider, parent.
I learned that while doing those roles is important, defining myself through those roles (attachments) was a bad mistake. By being a more complete me, I can actually do better in those other roles, coincidentally.
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What's the most important thing you learned after divorce? 
