And I know this should be small - but YD texted Mom "goodnight" last night. No reply. Mom has not talked to or texted either kid since they left her house on Friday.
Nice, I am NOT a doctor and I don't want to start a thread war here, but I'm sure you're aware that these are both conditions that are well-known as being abused by patients, to the extent that some medical professionals don't recognize either one of them as a legitimate medical problem.
I'm not taking a stance either way, but boy did this send up alarm flags in the context of everything else you've said.
Honestly, I think occasionally lying was probably a normal response by a good kid facing an incredibly difficult situation. I'm glad you are getting her away from that mom.
Lamaga, I have to admit it that those 2 things sent up red flags for me, too. People who I know and have been declared disabled for either of those things are not able to come and go as they please or hang out with friends, etc. They are in constant pain and misery. If they are dealing with a lot of depression due to their pain and limitations, they are also in IC to help them to deal with it. It doesn't sound like that it what's going on with XW, Nice.
When is she due for her next review with SS? I wonder if this CPS episode would trigger one...
Nice, I am NOT a doctor and I don't want to start a thread war here, but I'm sure you're aware that these are both conditions that are well-known as being abused by patients, to the extent that some medical professionals don't recognize either one of them as a legitimate medical problem.
I'm not taking a stance either way, but boy did this send up alarm flags in the context of everything else you've said.
Honestly, I think occasionally lying was probably a normal response by a good kid facing an incredibly difficult situation. I'm glad you are getting her away from that mom.
How you feeling today?
I'm down and nervous. A bit scared honestly. Wish I had a better idea about what to expect tomorrow.
I don't really "want" to try taking the kids away. I'm just going to be very open and honest with CPS and hope they can actually help. And I will pursue whatever they recommend.
Totally understand about Fibro and CFS. A lot of gray area. The symptom list is very similar to classic depression. We were still married when she was diagnosed.
Years ago she was briefly diagnosed as BP 2 - but it was later changed to "Anxiety Otherwise Unspecified." I still honestly wonder about the BP2.
Lamaga, I have to admit it that those 2 things sent up red flags for me, too. People who I know and have been declared disabled for either of those things are not able to come and go as they please or hang out with friends, etc. They are in constant pain and misery. If they are dealing with a lot of depression due to their pain and limitations, they are also in IC to help them to deal with it. It doesn't sound like that it what's going on with XW, Nice.
When is she due for her next review with SS? I wonder if this CPS episode would trigger one...
I'm not aware of any scheduled reviews.
When we were married it seemed to affect her ability to take the kids places and do housework. But social things with the new friends she made - not a problem.
Saw this quote this morning, and immediately thought of our exes:
Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can't feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren't able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities.
Then why am I the one sitting here a nervous wreck today. Tried calling CPS - that was a waste of time. They said it may be a few days before anything happens.
Scares me because when I Google "Abuse Allegations" - many of the initial search results are referring to how to handle a false allegation. So I guess that happens a lot.
I don't do well with "Limbo" - but it appears I'll be stuck here just waiting for a few days. Doesn't match what the officer said at all...but of course he's moved on to other things.
Wondering what happens if OD is lying - or if they just don't believe her.
Dropped both kids off with my Ex as usual today - but we all agreed that Ex and OD would not be alone without YD present. Not fair at all to YD...but fairness went out the window two years ago along with Honesty and Faithfulness...
No word from CPS yesterday. Called them. Sounds like since this was originated by a police report, it may take longer than had it been called in to the Hotline.
Also tried calling the therapist that my Ex and OD had been seeing together - to see if she could give me some idea of what to expect - and possibly any interpretation of how she might see the situation - but she's on vacation this week.
Managed to lighten my mood a bit last night (see random song posts and posts about Cityville Girl). Was admittedly very grumpy with the kids over the weekend.
Yesterday went well with Mom. Funny - she went to the store and got a more junk food for them than she normally gets.
Not sure if it matters - but pretty darn sure I saw "J" pulling out of her driveway this morning as I was dropping kids off - and she was outside - unlocking the door. Not even going to ask...
No word from CPS yesterday. Called them. Sounds like since this was originated by a police report, it may take longer than had it been called in to the Hotline.
Also tried calling the therapist that my Ex and OD had been seeing together - to see if she could give me some idea of what to expect - and possibly any interpretation of how she might see the situation - but she's on vacation this week.
Managed to lighten my mood a bit last night (see random song posts and posts about Cityville Girl). Was admittedly very grumpy with the kids over the weekend.
Yesterday went well with Mom. Funny - she went to the store and got a more junk food for them than she normally gets.
Not sure if it matters - but pretty darn sure I saw "J" pulling out of her driveway this morning as I was dropping kids off - and she was outside - unlocking the door. Not even going to ask...
If CPS are anything like Children's Aid in Canada you have nothing to fear over this incident. They will meet with mom/your daughters/you, check everything out, and will monitor the situation for a few months. If nothing else occurs and your wife keeps her hands to herself/daughter stops telling fibs they will close your file.
Due to many events in the breakdown of my marriage I have been working with them for the past 18 months over the care of my children (I was awarded temporary custody of them last April). Key thing is to be COMPLETELY transparent and COMPLETELY cooperative. If they suspect any shenanigans, things will start to go downhill.
If CPS are anything like Children's Aid in Canada you have nothing to fear over this incident. They will meet with mom/your daughters/you, check everything out, and will monitor the situation for a few months. If nothing else occurs and your wife keeps her hands to herself/daughter stops telling fibs they will close your file.
Due to many events in the breakdown of my marriage I have been working with them for the past 18 months over the care of my children (I was awarded temporary custody of them last April). Key thing is to be COMPLETELY transparent and COMPLETELY cooperative. If they suspect any shenanigans, things will start to go downhill.
My biggest fear is actually that nothing will happen. That it will be an adult's word against a child - over a smack on the face that didn't leave a mark. And that the second I start telling anyone what a big liar my Ex is and how I think she's emotionally abuse - and was even gaslighting the kid ("I don't know what you're talking about") the exact same way she gaslighted me for 2+ years - they'll write me off as the "Bitter Ex Husband."
Plus I'm just not so good with patience lately. I calmed down yesterday after being a complete grouch with my poor kids all last weekend. But then I find myself "over-correcting" my oldest daughter now when she makes a smart-aleck comment or says something mean to her sister.
Someone at work just had a baby - and somehow the list of who is supposed to do what while she's gone is getting ignored. So - there's more work to go around - and everyone is standing around pointing fingers saying "no - that wasn't me" - even though Or better yet - not saying anything at all when my boss asks ME about someone else's report.
But hey - I'm just the grumpy, Bitter Ex Husband...
My biggest fear is actually that nothing will happen. That it will be an adult's word against a child - over a smack on the face that didn't leave a mark. And that the second I start telling anyone what a big liar my Ex is and how I think she's emotionally abuse - and was even gaslighting the kid ("I don't know what you're talking about") the exact same way she gaslighted me for 2+ years - they'll write me off as the "Bitter Ex Husband."
Plus I'm just not so good with patience lately. I calmed down yesterday after being a complete grouch with my poor kids all last weekend. But then I find myself "over-correcting" my oldest daughter now when she makes a smart-aleck comment or says something mean to her sister.
Someone at work just had a baby - and somehow the list of who is supposed to do what while she's gone is getting ignored. So - there's more work to go around - and everyone is standing around pointing fingers saying "no - that wasn't me" - even though Or better yet - not saying anything at all when my boss asks ME about someone else's report.
But hey - I'm just the grumpy, Bitter Ex Husband...
Gotcha...I thought you were worried about it going bad (ie your kid taken into foster care etc).
The Train of Frustration will be leaving the Station VERY soon.
Again, if CPS is anything like up here you will find they are swamped/under-funded. Expect long delays in correspondance. Expect to be frustrated at every turn in the lack of action it appears they are taking.
It has to be BAD before anything concrete happens. I used to complain about my STBXW being stoned around the kids. CAS met with her, and she ADMITTED she smoked dope and looked after them. She only got a slap on the wrist, and a 'Ah-ah-ah! You shouldn't be stoned around your children! If you want to smoke dope call Dad and have him look after the kids!' I was like WTF???
And that wasn't all...I complained about EVERYTHING...like when my kids would come over to my place and say there was nothing to eat at mom's (mom needed party money so groceries took a back seat). I complained, and CAS went to check it out. They found stuff like crackers/potato chips/hotdogs etc. Since there was food, they wouldn't do anything. Come on, this isn't West Africa. I was p!ssed because with the money I was giving her she could definitely afford good food.
22Likes
