Your case might sit on the waiting list for a while, it may not be considered an emergency. Have they interviewed everyone?? Once they interview your ex, you, and your daughter, they basically write up an assessment, decide whether if your daughter is at risk, and come up with a safety plan so this type of situation does not continue to happen. Meaning they probably will have to go to counseling, or some other community organization in order to put a stop to the problem. They may even close the case. Not sure about the issue of lying though, I've never had a case where the teen lies about being hit by a parent, either way everyone gets to tell their version, and workers are skilled at seeing through lies by parents or kids.
I think it's a good idea to tell them that there has been a divorce, she's at an age where there is a great impact. Maybe they could hook you up with some resources in the area.
Your case might sit on the waiting list for a while, it may not be considered an emergency. Have they interviewed everyone?? Once they interview your ex, you, and your daughter, they basically write up an assessment, decide whether if your daughter is at risk, and come up with a safety plan so this type of situation does not continue to happen. Meaning they probably will have to go to counseling, or some other community organization in order to put a stop to the problem. They may even close the case. Not sure about the issue of lying though, I've never had a case where the teen lies about being hit by a parent, either way everyone gets to tell their version, and workers are skilled at seeing through lies by parents or kids.
I think it's a good idea to tell them that there has been a divorce, she's at an age where there is a great impact. Maybe they could hook you up with some resources in the area.
good luck
Thanks. So far there has been no follow up with CPS. The only person we've talked to was the Police Officer who came to my Ex wife's house.
My D's story really sounds a lot like what my Ex did during the last two years of our marriage. I can remember very blatant lies and times she would simply refuse to answer a reasonable question.
I don't think my D is in immediate physical danger - but there is just too much conflict and what I would consider emotional abuse.
OD said it came up today and Ex told her she might have just imagined it (gas lighting?) OD said she was proud of herself because she told Mom she didn't want to argue and just walked away. YD chimed in to say "Mom was the one yelling...." about today.
Wow, that sure is gaslighting. Your OD sounds very mature for 12, and certainly much more so than her mom. I really hope you and the girls can get some relief really soon. I can vaguely imagine how horrible this must be for you and them. (hugs)
Wow, that sure is gaslighting. Your OD sounds very mature for 12, and certainly much more so than her mom. I really hope you and the girls can get some relief really soon. I can vaguely imagine how horrible this must be for you and them. (hugs)
Thanks. Really means a lot...just to be heard sometimes.
Was reading a "Post Divorce" parenting book tonight - made me feel better about myself! I'm not perfect - and no one is - but these girls know that I love them them - AND that they can trust me.
One night a couple of months ago OD was telling me about trouble she was having with her classmates on a group project. YD also added in her drama of the day. I asked if they'd told Mom and both said "no." When I asked why not, YD said that I asked them how their days had been - and Mom didn't...
I had this on a CD one night when I was at the 'marital home' laying the wood floor. Singing along, of course. STBXH walked over to the laptop and just unceremoniously turned off the music. Very rude, don't you think? After all, he was downstairs on his way out on a date, and I was upstairs working my a$$ off. Why should the song bother him?
I had this on a CD one night when I was at the 'marital home' laying the wood floor. Singing along, of course. STBXH walked over to the laptop and just unceremoniously turned off the music. Very rude, don't you think? After all, he was downstairs on his way out on a date, and I was upstairs working my a$$ off. Why should the song bother him?
I think so (wait, did I just say that?) -- I mean, really, at least we're not living with their crap day in and day out, in the same house, etc.
I really like a lot of what Homemaker Numero Uno says in her posts, she's very wise. If I could tap into some of that thinking somehow, I think I'd feel a whole lot better equipped to handle STBXH's sh!t.
Cuz we know they're not going to change unless they get hit by the proverbial bolt of lightning, so it's up to us to learn to be impacted by them as little as humanly possible.
you tell her that she did the right thing by telling you, that she should always tell you in the future, and that she can come live with you anytime (can she? I know my H's custody agreement said that the kids could always choose, but that may not be standard).
Anyway -- the system does not always work. Please make sure that OD knows that this does not reflect on her at all.
Oh man, that was an outcome that hadn't even crossed my mind! In a way, that's good because you don't have to worry about some kind of knock-down drag-out she-said/she-said between X and OD
BUT...as far as validating OD, this is TERRIBLE!! There's no doubt that what her mom did was wrong, but the system just backed up her mom. Nice, I'm sorry. So, you'll have to let her know that you back her up, and that you believe her. That's going to be extra important if she feels the system let her down and if her mom ever gloats about it -- which we both know she will.
That's just crap.
you tell her that she did the right thing by telling you, that she should always tell you in the future, and that she can come live with you anytime (can she? I know my H's custody agreement said that the kids could always choose, but that may not be standard).
Anyway -- the system does not always work. Please make sure that OD knows that this does not reflect on her at all.
My lawyer told me that in my state, once the child turns 14, their desires are taking into consideration when deciding where they live.
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Re: Let the Wild Rumpus Start 
