If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
(I have a long and involved back story here, but don't want it to skew the answers I may get here).
I'm curious about if any of you have self-imposed moratoriums on remarriage. If so, what time period did you choose, and how? If not, why? I guess for my purposes, I'm not needing data points of folks that have said they'd never remarry at all, since I'm specifically curious about the waiting period itself.
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
It usually takes some time to get over a divorce, and I don't think it's wise to jump into another committed relationship inside of about 2 years but, of course it depends on the individual.
I have never remarried, but my ex-husband was in another committed relationship within 3 months and remarried within 9 months. He's now onto wife number 3...
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cosmos
It usually takes some time to get over a divorce, and I don't think it's wise to jump into another committed relationship inside of about 2 years, but of course it depends on the individual.
Ok, thanks for your input!
I realize that the situation I'm thinking about specifically is much messier (relationship #2 started prior to relationship #1 being officially over. It has been around 3 years since the end of #1, about 4 years since the beginning of #2. Some overlap there that adds complexity). So...I'm thinking that maybe I'll need to make a post with more detail or something...Nothing I do is ever straightforward I guess
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmartAzariel
Ok, thanks for your input!
I realize that the situation I'm thinking about specifically is much messier (relationship #2 started prior to relationship #1 being officially over. It has been around 3 years since the end of #1, about 4 years since the beginning of #2. Some overlap there that adds complexity). So...I'm thinking that maybe I'll need to make a post with more detail or something...Nothing I do is ever straightforward I guess
Yes, that would make a difference, because the likelihood of a rebound relationship is ruled out.
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
I'm assuming you are saying you were having an affair for a year prior to the end of your marriage? If I'm wrong then I do apologize and to be honest I'm not judging you one bit if you were. This actually did happen to me, though. My ex was in an EA/PA for over a year before we divorced and moved in a few months after and then married a tad over a year post divorce. It has obviously worked well for them thus far.
I on the other hand, am taking my sweet time dating and have not even started to think about possibly marrying again anytime soon.
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
Marriage to an affair partner has the highest failure rate of all marriages. Not sure if that is what you are asking about, and more clarity would be helpful.
I personally think it is a really big mistake to leave a marriage for another person. For one's own mental health, you should take as long as it takes to learn to love being on your own. Then you will only give up that freedom for someone really special, who adds so much to your life that the conflict is worth it--and worth the loss of freedom.
I've read that the "standard" is one year of being single for every 5 years married--but for longer marriages, like 15+ years, that seems a bit off. Maybe 3 years for 15 years of marriage, and then a couple of days for each year thereafter?
I will add that I am only entering my 3rd year as a single person, and I wanted to be single--and it was not easy. I'm still dealing with fallout, so to speak, but more financial and logistical than emotional. I imagine that a person who did not want to divorce might be on a different timeline, needing more time to adjust emotionally and before beginning the serious rebuilding--not the "getting by""--of a new life.
I remarried 5 years after my divorce. My husband was divorced less then a year. He was still talking to his ex w as friends. That stopped immediately once we were engaged.
I honestly do not believe their should be a set time after leaving one relationship before heading into another. My husband and I are extremely compatible and get along very well. We've had a wonderful marriage so far. These last 13 years with him have been the best of my life!
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
Oh, you mean marry a different person? Sorry. For me, never! Unless of course he happened to be my soul mate, in which case, immediately. In short, there are no rules. I'd say if you've given it at least a year, just follow your heart. If your heart is undecided, wait until it's not.
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
I've never tought about how much "time" to wait to remarry but that's mostly cause I doubt I'd ever want to remarry.
I say at least wait a YEAR after divorce to date. But who knows. Not everyone heals at the same pace.
To each their own.
I would say definitely wait until you are completely over your ex, the divorce and have worked on yourself and have come out with a lot o clarity from the wreckage that is divorce.
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
I would wait at least a year. And any new relationship would have to go slowly. I'm in a relationship like that now, and I can't imagine marriage for a couple of years, at least. Maybe never. I haven't decided yet whether or not I want to subject myself to all that again.
Re: If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce?
This is a very good question. After my first divorce I set a rule of nothing serious for at least 2 years, and forget about marriage again. Looking back, I think that was a huge mistake. Because of my self imposed timelines, I think I missed some great opportunities with some great women. I did remarry and had 10 of the best years of my life. This time around? No rules, no timelines, no expectations or preconceived milestones. I just plan to go out and enjoy myself. If someone special comes along, great, if not, I will still be out there having a great time. The most important thing I learned the last time? Never say never.
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If you'd ever remarry, how long would you wait post-divorce? 
