07-19-2012, 11:33 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
| | Re: Co-parenting
I did it for 9 years with my ex. We have one daughter and co-parented her from ages 2 to 11...then he decided to move out of state...blah blah.
Anyhoo, for 9 years we were VERY consistent with her schedule and it was a fair schedule. Granted, we only lived 4 miles from each other so she went to school but we were both in the area to pick her up, etc.
M, W,TH and saturday night through M were mine.
T, F and all day Saturday were his.
I liked it because we saw her every day, whether morning before school or after. She was very relaxed with the schedule and the consistency helped her.
Sometimes, in emergencies or if we had special plans, we'd switch a night, but that wasn't often.
We also met once a month (or on the phone) to talk about discipline issues....we tried to discipline the same at each other's houses. And punishments given at one house were carried out in the other house as well. So if she was grounded from video games at Dad's on Tuesday for a week, then I would respect that as well and visa versa.
She had chores at our houses and friends. We threw birthday parties together for her, and celebrated school awards together (and went to every teacher conference together), but holidays were with our own families. I had Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter (he's not really into family or religion and my family is BIG on those holidays) and he had Halloween, 4th of July and all the Equinoxes/Soltices (his faith).
It worked very well for us. I got married and our nights stayed the same until he decided to give up the rat race, pursue his music, lose his apartment and move 2 states away with his mom. Our daughter decided before that (almost 2 years ago) to live with me full time and we respected that.
Good luck,however you decide to do it. Consistency and stability are key.
Also, he and I had a strict agreement that when she was at our homes, we would not have "friends" over. I dated when she was with him and he dated when she was with me. She never saw random guys/ladies at our home. We just didn't think it was appropriate. Her dad had a gf once for a while and wanted to introduce her, and I agreed, after I met the woman. I had a bf for a while and he met my guy first. Everything we did was for our child...and I think it has paid off.
Sick days were also split. We'd take turns taking off work to stay home with her. We brought her into this world together, so we wanted to raise her together, even though we were not together.