Ok so first off....I love sex....LOVE SEX! However, I really like to keep it within a relationship. It seems I may be the only one who feels this way! How bout all of you? What are your feelings about sex within or outside of a serious relationship?
Is there any men out there that feel sex should be kept inside a serious relationship?
Another issue....why are so many men into threesomes and stuff like that? I fanatsize about that stuff sometimes, but really I want it all to stay a fantasy.
If I was 20 years old again and could simply get an erection at will, if I knew then what I know now I'd be all about trying to get all the casual sex I could get. Of course, I was all about that, I just sucked at it as bad then as I do now, except now the equipment only works when sufficiently coaxed, and I have to schedule relationships around my career and my family.
I guess it's all different for different folks! I'm not the casual sex gal. I want to be in a monogamous relationship...I don't think I was wired for the casual lifestyle.
I guess it's all different for different folks! I'm not the casual sex gal. I want to be in a monogamous relationship...I don't think I was wired for the casual lifestyle.
Same here....but...I also quit worring about labeling things. So much less stressful. Posted via Mobile Device
It would be a huge turn off for me to know that the girl I was with or wanting to get intimate with was with someone else recently.. How recently? I dont know the time frames, I just know that I'd rather have a woman with some reservations, and save the freaky good stuff for the monogamous relationship.
The "open" door policy has me kinda apprehensive about "funk".
I'm in Shoo's court. Coming out of a long term relationship and only being with three women in my time the thought of casual sex is hard for me to grasp.
Although I need to consider that times have changed since 1988 and now I'm an adult. I have the option to say no if the time arises and I'm not ready to take that step. Hopefully the woman I'm with at the time understands and respects that. If not, she might not be the one for me.
Threesome...for me it is hard enough to focus on one girl to make sure she is being satisfied. Not sure I could split my focus on two women. A threesome with two guys is out of the question for me. LOL
Ok so first off....I love sex....LOVE SEX! However, I really like to keep it within a relationship. It seems I may be the only one who feels this way! How bout all of you? What are your feelings about sex within or outside of a serious relationship?
Is there any men out there that feel sex should be kept inside a serious relationship?
Another issue....why are so many men into threesomes and stuff like that? I fanatsize about that stuff sometimes, but really I want it all to stay a fantasy.
Please chime in....
I'm with you.
When I was married, I really enjoyed sex, but now that I'm divorced, It's not really something that i give a lot of thought. I guess being around the woman i loved everyday was what fueled that desire.
I notice that some people think that even though a guy is single and not looking for a serious relationship, he is still out having sex on a regular basis, but I prefer that for a serious relationship.
I had sex after 18 months of celibacy keeping faithful to my half of the marriage. She was a beautiful cougar, she was twice my age, the sex....... was boring as hell. She seemed to be into it more than me and God knows I really put effort into it, but my heart wasn't in it. To me without lots of foreplay the first time and lots of kissing, it was just a mechanical act and more of the same old same old. I went home without getting off and felt no different than before.
I know I'm younger than most of you but I prefer the married life. ONS's suck, Threesomes are more trouble than they're worth, and anal isn't something you should try all the time. The sex you get from knowing the same person and actually caring about them is the best. Sure you have to work a little harder to keep the spice in your love life and keep her attracted but It's worth all the trouble!
To be honest that first ice breaking sex is fun, and it can be great if you know what you're doing, but it's the most nervous sex you'll ever have. You don't know what they like and it's all about trial and error to hit those buttons, but it can't make up for that feeling you get from cuddling and being in love.
I feel like I already sowed my oats prior to marriage - which was one of the reasons I got married. Now going into divorce, I feel the same - I did it all and would rather wait for the long haul.
My ex found another man pretty quickly. That kind of adds to the sexual anxiety. It helps that the two of us still have sex every once in a while, but I couldn't deny that my ego needed validation from another woman. Turns out that wasn't too hard to find. I wouldn't call it casual sex but a friend with benefits. It's still a relationship but we can't be serious unless between us we want nine children in the house.
To each their own but I know that at the end of my life I am not going to be able to look back and say I wish I'd had LESS sex.
I feel like I already sowed my oats prior to marriage - which was one of the reasons I got married. Now going into divorce, I feel the same - I did it all and would rather wait for the long haul.
That's what every woman, or man for that matter, says - "I've already sowed my wold oats, I'm looking for something lasting now".
I never took that opportunity when I was young and it kinda feels like I missed out on it, because it is honestly really hard to find anyone my age with the same experiences in life, most people I run into are permanently in committed marriages or else they are all used up. Feels like an old loaf of bread, you don't know what to do with it now, toast it? Steam it in the microwave? Just load it up with mayo? or make croutons from it... but never able to have it fresh.
I find this to be extremely challenging to deal with. Like you, I have a really high sex drive. In the past, when not in a relationship, this has led to me making bad choices regarding partners. If I hadn't had sex in a few months and I went out w/ someone for the first time, if I was attracted to him, I'd often sleep w/ him. Now I'm going through a separation and I'm determined not to fall back into old patterns, but that doesn't really leave a solution to the sex problem. I don't want to jump into another LTR, but I haven't been really successful living any kind of abstinent lifestyle. So... I hear ya!
Well, I'm totally sheltered as I've only had sex with two men. Do I regret that? Nope. I'm not wired, either, for multiple partners. I'm in a committed relationship right now and sex is a regular part of it. I did sleep with him within the first month of dating, but not on the first date. I love sex with him. With the ex it got to be a chore for some reason. which of course probably should have clued me in that the marriage was in trouble.
I hear you WomanScorned.
Sex with my ex wife was like a hostage negotiation situation. I always had to make the first move with strategical precision, and she always met me with counter resistance measures. And I am by no means a bad lover or lacking anything she desired. On the contrary, I read every psychology book and studied many sexual guides to improve myself and keep her well satisfied. She was just a low drive woman masquerading as a sexually liberated woman. I would have been perfectly happy with sex once a week, but I would die without passion. I don't intend on sex three times a day for the rest of our lives, but at least recognize that stealing kissing behind the house and pillow talk when alone is romantic enough for me.
At this moment I can't picture it.. but I assume it is going to be a hurdle I will need to climb one day.
You get used to what she like, how to get it done, what not to do, what to do.
To learn that all over again scares the daylights out of me.
Also I'm at a point that I want commitment with it. The bonding you do during an encounter is very special to me. It is not just a validation of being an man but I felt it was a privileged she gave to me to be able to share that closeness with her. I feel you can't get any close to a woman than that.
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S e x 
which of course probably should have clued me in that the marriage was in trouble.
