Originally Posted by one_strange_otter View Post
Sounds like a catch-22.
Did it make you uncomfortable when she started initiating sex? That would be a complete reversal for me also. I'm used to being in charge of starting things. Have you talked about being exclusive as far as physical relationships go?
The sex and her inititating it hasn't made me uncomfortable. Quite the opposite!
But I also don't want to lead her on into thinking that if we have sex, that our relationship should be more serious. I haven't got that impression from her, but I know most women don't have sex a la "Friends with Benefits".
We haven't discussed exclusiveness regarding our relationship.
Tonight, she sent me a text telling me that she hopes she could spend some time together this week and that, " I do really like you...hope the feeling is mutual". I took it as that she likes me a lot, but is not in love with me. Man, I hope I'm deciphering her text correctly!
I responded that yes, the feeling is mutual(from my interpretation of her text). That's the truth. But I do want to tell her that I've been single for only a short period of time and I'm not ready for a serious relationship at this moment.
Having said this, there is something more serious I am facing:
And I've given more thought as to why my heart remains closed. I can't determine if I am fearful of being broken-hearted again. It's probably at an "unconscious" level.
But what's more obvious to me is:
My emotions/feelings are still struggling with the loss of my EX. I would consider it more of a death of the person I knew long ago, but no longer exists. I am trying to let go as much as I can. Why is it so hard when you know what the right thing to do is? I would never take her back at this point in my life. I know the old her is gone, and the new her is a total turn off.
So why do I still miss the old her at times even though the old her is dead? Emotions like this SUCKS.I want to whine that she's apparently over me so quickly. She's already in another relationship and living with some new BF. How was it easy for her to get over me?
Wow. There I go again.
Are feelings like this normal? They say we go through periods of anger, resentment, feelings of loss, etc. and not in any particular order. And it looks like a few of those feelings have popped up again. Grrrr..
I plan to have a "funeral" next week to help with the closure. And dating other girls has been fun and this new girl makes some things exciting. But I keep forgetting about ME. I need to work on improving myself and getting stronger. And I need to finally be over my previous marriage.