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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Life After Divorce » Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 09-06-2012, 08:45 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

And you will. It's easy for me to say this because I've gone through the worst already but it's true
Motivation
Music (no love songs)
Work
Exercise
Analyzing my self and changing
Positive hobbies
Careful with the alcohol (if possible don't drink at all)
You will get better you will see your worth just stay focused everyday. You love her and that's ok. You have your faults but you never gave up. She gave up on you so keep your head up.
Give your kids a hug from me. Enjoy them and get better.

No one can love you like yourself. You will not turn your back on you. So spend time and appreciate yourself. And don't stay home all the time. Go out. Go jog . Keep the mind busy. Observe learn do better be better
Your next relationship will be the best. Your more focused you just have to get through this first
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Old 09-06-2012, 10:53 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

I must have had 30 or so women ask me that very same question. And to them I said the same thing every time.... I never regretted marrying her, it was one of the sweetest chapters of my life. And I do not regret chasing after her for years when she left because it was in that time that I became a wonderful husband.

However, I do regret I treated her during our divorce. She made the decision to have multiple affairs and forsake her vows, to string me along, and divorce me in secrecy on graduation day. I made the decision to not speak up and let the anger build until I unleashed on her, and for that I am very sorry for my actions.

Would I marry again? The answer is an undeniable and astounding YES! I enjoyed every minute of marriage, the good and the bad. The headaches and heartaches, the love and the devotion, the commitment to being faithful and working to improve the marriage. Next time I will sure of one thing above all doubts, I will be the best husband if not father I could ever be and work to keep the marriage as romantic as it is nurturing.
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Old 09-06-2012, 10:55 PM   #48 (permalink)
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I must have had 30 or so women ask me that very same question. And to them I said the same thing every time.... I never regretted marrying her, it was one of the sweetest chapters of my life. And I do not regret chasing after her for years when she left because it was in that time that I became a wonderful husband.

However, I do regret I treated her during our divorce. She made the decision to have multiple affairs and forsake her vows, to string me along, and divorce me in secrecy on graduation day. I made the decision to not speak up and let the anger build until I unleashed on her, and for that I am very sorry for my actions.

Would I marry again? The answer is an undeniable and astounding YES! I enjoyed every minute of marriage, the good and the bad. The headaches and heartaches, the love and the devotion, the commitment to being faithful and working to improve the marriage. Next time I will sure of one thing above all doubts, I will be the best husband if not father I could ever be and work to keep the marriage as romantic as it is nurturing.
Yes!!!!
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Old 09-06-2012, 11:40 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

Been asked that question plenty. My answer is simply this; "Does not matter if I regret it or not. I'll keep the best of me, improve on the worst of me, find a better woman, and have my ex wife to thank for it."

I'll never apologize nor will I second guess how I acted during the divorce. It would not have changed a damn thing, so why second guess it now?

Damn straight I'll marry again if the right lady comes along...
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Old 09-06-2012, 11:45 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Been asked that question plenty. My answer is simply this; "Does not matter if I regret it or not. I'll keep the best of me, improve on the worst of me, find a better woman, and have my ex wife to thank for it."

I'll never apologize nor will I second guess how I acted during the divorce. It would not have changed a damn thing, so why second guess it now?

Damn straight I'll marry again if the right lady comes along...
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I'm not afraid of marriage. I married the love of my life it's just she gave up on me. Her love was not true but mine is
I'm true to myself and out here there is a beautiful woman that will want everything I offer

Yes keep the best. Throw out the bad super charge me with the good qualities.
All I ask for is a partner that wants to be loved and will love me. That will happen.
Need the right one though , not the one right now
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Old 09-07-2012, 12:29 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

Ferndog mentioned a YouTube video upthread about the WAW. While I couldn't find that particular one, I watched one under the same name, from Michele Weiner-Davis. It made sense enough, and I wish I had known about it long ago.

However, I'm confused by one part of the video, where she says "it's never too late... even if your wife says it's over" (about 5:00) "don't give up hope", etc.

See, I've resigned myself to the loss now, and think I'm doing a pretty decent job implementing the 180. To me, that largely means forgetting and moving on, whereas the phrase "not giving up hope", etc. reminds of where I was a few months ago, suffering quietly and hoping that she would understand, etc. and come back.

Are these two things contradictory, or am I missing something?
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:41 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

I dont regret marrying her, but i do regret taking her back 8years ago when she left me the first time.
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Old 09-09-2012, 02:02 PM   #53 (permalink)
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I dont regret marrying her, but i do regret taking her back 8years ago when she left me the first time.
Still together? Or what happened the second time if you don't mind sharing. I like to learn fro
Others so I can become well rounded. Thanx
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:43 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

Had to jump in here. I am victim to also from the "WAW" my bestfriend for six years and together for six years. I dont regret marrying her, I regert that we didnt get to get married the way we wanted. I regret not being a more positive person and not taking her out more. She is a social butterfly, I am more reserved.

We are three months seperated, she filed for "D" two weeks ago. I had to move back to my hometown due to we just bought a house four months ago and she told me two weeks after we moved in. I miss the huge down payment we just pissed away!!

I dont know that I will ever marry again, this was my second. I was her third. My trust in relationships is Null and Void due to things like "Texting" considering she was talking to her soon to be new guy right beside me! and FB the #1 destroyer of "R's"
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:52 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

Communication the number 1 saver in all relationships. Once that gets shut down the respect, love, honesty then follow.
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Old 09-12-2012, 12:57 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

together 5 years, not married but she walked into another guys arms and whatever else that came with it, he was a widower with a child, 10 years older and I told her the day she left it will not work because she doesnt like being number 2, and it didnt last, still havent heard from her...

I did all the things alot of guys dont do:

- communicate
- cook
- clean
- listen
- help her when asked (so to avoid smothering)
- I used to send her random texts how much I loved her or a quick i love you so much
- I used to take her out alot
- Encourage her to improve her self confidence. I taught her so much
- Support her whenever I saw she was down and on a daily basis.
- always discussed the importance of strong foundations
- respected, listened, was honest, loyal, caring, sharing,
- always kept her in the loop about why I was doing things
- never lied to or made a fool out of her

Granted the only thing I didnt do was marry her and have kids because I wanted to be in a more stable position, I was in the processing of going to university and explained if she didnt want to to wait to get married I would marry her first and have kids and then go to uni, she was fine with it...

What gets me is that you read alot, my partner doesnt talk, is not positive, doesnt do x y and z....

I did and she still walked...what about her role in all of this? her responsibilites? her duties towards me? if anything she was the one who couldnt communicate, (I used to randomly bring up every month, what do you like / dislike, what can we change just to ensure she wasnt keeping things held inside) she was the one who would sweep problems under the carpet...

Its like I really don't know what more I could have done and am glad I didnt marry her because this would have been alot worse.

I do regret her coming into my life, she took so much of my time, energy, sanity all so she could just walk out of my life...

I feel chewed up and spat out, used beyond anything...

I don't think I am a walk over by any means, however when someone plays you on your emotions thats just pure coldness...sick, calcuated and psychotic.

The thing is while we are change throughout the duration of our relationships etc if there is love there, no matter what, it will work, everything changes but love? that deep feeling you get everytime you see them even if it disappears momentarily, if it truely existed then by no means will it go...

Trouble is I dont think it was ever there for it to have gone...

Either one of us could be the perfect partner but I believe we all have our quota of suffering due to us and when we invest all our energies into 1 person so much so we cut off from everything else, that 1 person then is used an instrument to deliver to us that killer blow. Thats just the law of karma.

So whilst I think all this self help, counselling, therapy and all the changes we make under the sun will help us restore our self confidence and self esteem. There is nothing we can do when its time for us to suffer but to take it.
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Old 09-12-2012, 02:43 PM   #57 (permalink)
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together 5 years, not married but she walked into another guys arms and whatever else that came with it, he was a widower with a child, 10 years older and I told her the day she left it will not work because she doesnt like being number 2, and it didnt last, still havent heard from her...

I did all the things alot of guys dont do:

- communicate
- cook
- clean
- listen
- help her when asked (so to avoid smothering)
- I used to send her random texts how much I loved her or a quick i love you so much
- I used to take her out alot
- Encourage her to improve her self confidence. I taught her so much
- Support her whenever I saw she was down and on a daily basis.
- always discussed the importance of strong foundations
- respected, listened, was honest, loyal, caring, sharing,
- always kept her in the loop about why I was doing things
- never lied to or made a fool out of her

Granted the only thing I didnt do was marry her and have kids because I wanted to be in a more stable position, I was in the processing of going to university and explained if she didnt want to to wait to get married I would marry her first and have kids and then go to uni, she was fine with it...

What gets me is that you read alot, my partner doesnt talk, is not positive, doesnt do x y and z....

I did and she still walked...what about her role in all of this? her responsibilites? her duties towards me? if anything she was the one who couldnt communicate, (I used to randomly bring up every month, what do you like / dislike, what can we change just to ensure she wasnt keeping things held inside) she was the one who would sweep problems under the carpet...

Its like I really don't know what more I could have done and am glad I didnt marry her because this would have been alot worse.

I do regret her coming into my life, she took so much of my time, energy, sanity all so she could just walk out of my life...

I feel chewed up and spat out, used beyond anything...

I don't think I am a walk over by any means, however when someone plays you on your emotions thats just pure coldness...sick, calcuated and psychotic.

The thing is while we are change throughout the duration of our relationships etc if there is love there, no matter what, it will work, everything changes but love? that deep feeling you get everytime you see them even if it disappears momentarily, if it truely existed then by no means will it go...

Trouble is I dont think it was ever there for it to have gone...

Either one of us could be the perfect partner but I believe we all have our quota of suffering due to us and when we invest all our energies into 1 person so much so we cut off from everything else, that 1 person then is used an instrument to deliver to us that killer blow. Thats just the law of karma.

So whilst I think all this self help, counselling, therapy and all the changes we make under the sun will help us restore our self confidence and self esteem. There is nothing we can do when its time for us to suffer but to take it.
So I must ask you this. Knowing you did all you could and knowing that you gave yourself completely to her and it still wasn't enough. Will you give yourself completely again to someone else? Or will you have walks built up?
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Old 09-12-2012, 02:57 PM   #58 (permalink)
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So I must ask you this. Knowing you did all you could and knowing that you gave yourself completely to her and it still wasn't enough. Will you give yourself completely again to someone else? Or will you have walks built up?
I am a true romantic at heart so have no choice in a way but to give myself again to someone else. However this time I would be alot more aware...actions speak louder then words...I would take action at the red flags and not just turn a blind eye.

Since we split, 2 weeks after (this was 9 months ago) I started a course about spirituality etc (for 3 months) and then I moved into a voluntary work centre for 3 months.

It became apparent there through a lot of self reflection I was not venting, releasing my pain and that was holding me back.

I moved back in with parents and the last 3 months have been torture.

I am due to start a mens support group on Friday and then IC on tuesday.

I would give myself again but this time be responsible and accountable to myself only, I will not love "blindly" as I have too much to lose when I do.

Also when you are intimate with someone he changes your entire psyche. So I would wait a while before I got physical to try and find out more about what she is really like....

Easier said then done I know. I read this forum alot and its fab. I just get tired of reading my man should do x, y and z and think what the hell do you do back?
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Old 09-12-2012, 05:21 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Default Re: Here's one for the Guys who had a Walk Away Wife...

I was only married 2 years, so I do not think I am suffering from walk away wife syndrome. However, one thing my s2bxw constantly talks about is the "regret" of marrying.

I do not regret a thing. I made vows, and I am proud to say despite all the crap that I stuck by them. Its just that now, against all my hope, dreams for reconciliation, she wants out. So, she may go.

For a brief moment I was in denial over the fact it was something I did during the marriage. Because I want to fix it. But when she expressed her real feelings to me and then to the MC I knew it wasn't a ploy to hurt my feelings. She had come to believe it all as truth. However, she hasn't said a single negative thing about the way I treated her in the marriage.

I will take note of the mistakes I made and work to improve upon them.
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Old 09-12-2012, 05:25 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Once you believe in yourself trust me there will be woman to spare. Just focus on yourself and when the time is right you will find a special woman .
I have had beautiful women ask me out but I am not ready. I still need more time for myself. I'm not making the same mistakes again. I will become a better person for myself before I get involved with anyone else
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