frigginlost

So over the weekend I was asked a question regarding my marriage/ex. The question really made me ponder, and quite honestly I did not know if I was the only guy that felt this way after his divorce.

The question was simple; Do you regret having married your wife?

I tell ya, it really stunned me as I had not really thought about it in that sense. But after telling the woman I was talking with to give me a few minutes to process it, I did in fact come to a conclusive answer:

Yes. I regret it.

I know that folks say "Ahhh look at all the great times and things you shared, blah, blah, blah." But, honestly, I look at my marriage as a waste of a good chunk of my life. Maybe it's because I had absolutely no clue, or no say in any of my wife's walking out the front door. Maybe I'm just still a little bitter, but I simply feel as if my marriage was a waste...

I was wondering if any of you other guys out there who had Walk-Away wives felt the same?

Shooboomafoo

Yep, however, in my particular instance, I think there was an influence in the terms of prescriptions she was taking that had her mind all messed up, it was only then that she started changing into whatever it was she is now.
If it werent for that child we had together, I would feel like it was a waste of time. Time lost that could have been given to a woman with deeper convictions.
But to say so, would somehow diminish how blessed I am with this wonderful little human being that calls me Daddy.

COguy

That's a great question. I am glad I married her, because it taught me a lot about myself and who I am and who i want to be. The downside is it cost me the best years of my life.

I regret being a doormat for so long, and I regret bringing children into our mess.

Tough question...

I know for sure that I'll make the best of it and learn from my mistakes.

Lon

Yes I regret it, but what's the point? We do not have the gift of seeing the future, it was a risk I was willing to take, just one I didn't think she would gamble away the way she did. If I knew then what I know now OF COURSE I wouldn't have married her, or brought children into the mess I'd have found one that I knew was going to be loyal and faithful instead.

papa5280

Not at all. After 16 years of marriage, I ended up with two great kids (well, one great kid, and one work in progress), plus a step daughter who thinks of me as dad, along with HER three kids, to whom I'm "papa".

Now, if I had it to do all over again, I would have changed my behaviors in the marriage, stayed away from the nice guy traps, and had a pre-nup. But the marriage itself? Nope, can't regret that.

Shoeguy

I don't regret it. We had a lot of great years and there are a couple of great kids as a result.

Plus I'm starting to like the new person I'm growing into. Without being totally blown up emotionally and financially I would have never been able to get out of the rut I was in.

__________________
None will improve your lot if you yourself do not.
Bertolt Brecht

mule kick

Three kids and adopted her son. Had most of 12 years doing pretty well. No I don't regret the marriage and I don't regret the divorce.

frigginlost

I think if the ex and I had kids I don't think I would regret it as strongly as I do now. Maybe in time the feeling will fade. But, I was with her for a heck of a long time and it has not even been a year from the Sep and Divorce being final and she is already moving in with some bloke. Yup, I pretty much regret it.

the guy

Kids make all the difference in the world when it come to that question.

Hoosier

I was married 30 years, have three great kids. While I do regret the time lost with the marriage, I HATE the loss of the last year following D, spent thinking about her, analyzing what happened. To just move on seems so easy for some, this last year has been a total loss for me, that time lost I regret. The fact that I control and haven't been able to adds to the frustration.

frigginlost

Hoosier, you hit the nail on the head on how I feel. It's the loss of time that just goes down wrong. I went on a 5 mile hike in the hills where I live today, and I could not believe how much I thought of ex. Wasted thoughts and more wasted time.

I think I'm thinking of her more because our Marriage Anniversary is coming up. First year I don't get to surprise her and celebrate how much I love being married to her...

ferndog

Wow this is tough
My wife (ex) was a walk away wife but in reality I don't blame her because I had my issues and neglected her for so long.
Do I regret it? No
I married the love of my life and she thought me so much and gave me love. I just don't see how another woman can measure up to her.
I guess I'm just disappointed that she gave up on me but I can see why. But she was wrong I am changing and morphin into the man I've always wanted to be.
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Goobertron

My son makes it worthwhile. Otherwise it was a complete waste and I regret I lost the years and the opportunity to select a better match. When she said "I never loved you" during the break-up it hit me like a sack of nails that she was full of it and a waste of space.

MSC71

No, because I learned a lot. I learned so much that there is some lucky lady out there that will benefit from it all.

zebulona

Friggin you are a sweet guy it seems and fern, I was the WAW just like yours in the similar case. Except my X doesn't improve.