Why is she interested all of a sudden?
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Life After Divorce » Why is she interested all of a sudden?

Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 08-14-2012, 10:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Why is she interested all of a sudden?

Yesterday I went to check my email and saw my unfaithful ex wife (who coldly divorced me to live with her EA turned PA) had checked out my old dating profile. I know she's been having fights with her "Exciting" loser of a boyfriend, but the very thought of her trying to rope me back in to take further advantage of me just makes my blood run cold.

Please tell me I'm not crazy for wanting to talk to her again.... in the distant future. Part of me still wants her and I could see maybe calling her on her birthday next year, but I'm still kinda pissed about the way she went about stringing her family and mine along to have her exit affair.

All I know from what I've pieced together on her FB I can't quit looking at (I know, I know I'm terrible).... she's burning out on her exciting fun life as a teacher/party girl all alone without her family with just her douche bag boyfriend who went out of the way to disrespect me in front of her isn't respecting her anymore. Gee, never say that one coming AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE HER SHOULDER TO CRY ON WHEN THAT INEVITABLE TRAIN WRECK HAPPENS!
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Old 08-14-2012, 10:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

hmmmm...I'm not sure of your story but from what you just posted, NC would be the best bet with your ex...

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Old 08-14-2012, 11:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

NC, she may have clicked on you out of surprise or curiosity and that's then automatically tracked on your profle.
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Old 08-15-2012, 09:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

How do you know she checked out your profile?
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Old 08-15-2012, 09:26 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

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Originally Posted by Nsweet View Post
Yesterday I went to check my email and saw my unfaithful ex wife (who coldly divorced me to live with her EA turned PA) had checked out my old dating profile. I know she's been having fights with her "Exciting" loser of a boyfriend, but the very thought of her trying to rope me back in to take further advantage of me just makes my blood run cold.

Please tell me I'm not crazy for wanting to talk to her again.... in the distant future. Part of me still wants her and I could see maybe calling her on her birthday next year, but I'm still kinda pissed about the way she went about stringing her family and mine along to have her exit affair.

All I know from what I've pieced together on her FB I can't quit looking at (I know, I know I'm terrible).... she's burning out on her exciting fun life as a teacher/party girl all alone without her family with just her douche bag boyfriend who went out of the way to disrespect me in front of her isn't respecting her anymore. Gee, never say that one coming AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE HER SHOULDER TO CRY ON WHEN THAT INEVITABLE TRAIN WRECK HAPPENS!


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Old 08-15-2012, 09:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

Dude! Run! Run! Run! do not look at her FB, do not contact her. NOTHING good will come from it! Not that I am so smart, just been where you are right now. My xw has not contacted me, but I stalked her and the POSOM home, I tried to find out what was going on with her and all it does it hurt YOU! I know, easy for me to say, hard for you to do. But find someone or something that can help you STAY AWAY FROM HER! As my own daughter told me and I will now tell you.... YOU DESERVE BETTER!
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Old 08-15-2012, 09:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

JB: on a lot of the dating sites, Match.com for example. It shows you who has looked at your profile. They dont have to even attempt to contact you, but simply by pulling up your profile the system keeps track and notifys the profilee.
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Old 08-15-2012, 09:44 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Dude! Run! Run! Run! do not look at her FB, do not contact her. NOTHING good will come from it! Not that I am so smart, just been where you are right now. My xw has not contacted me, but I stalked her and the POSOM home, I tried to find out what was going on with her and all it does it hurt YOU! I know, easy for me to say, hard for you to do. But find someone or something that can help you STAY AWAY FROM HER! As my own daughter told me and I will now tell you.... YOU DESERVE BETTER!
I agree RUN....RUN FAST! When have you EVER heard of something like this ending well? ?


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Old 08-15-2012, 10:17 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

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JB: on a lot of the dating sites, Match.com for example. It shows you who has looked at your profile. They dont have to even attempt to contact you, but simply by pulling up your profile the system keeps track and notifys the profilee.
Thanks for explaining.

Nsweet--maybe she just wants to know what is going on with you. Lots of exes like to find out about people after the fact. I think it is something we have all done at one point or another.

Is there a way you can block her?

My advice is to remain no contact with her. So you can continue to move on/forward with your life.
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Old 08-15-2012, 12:37 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

Use the energy on a new lady.

If there was no infidelity, sure, you can buy me lunch however many months/years down the road and we'll chit chat and catch up. Since there was, there is no trust, she doesn't deserve your contact.
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Old 08-15-2012, 03:16 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

Agree with the othes Nsweet... RUN.....
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Old 08-17-2012, 10:52 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

Thanks for the advice guys. I agree, cut and RUN, RUN, RUN like hell away from that borderline train wreck.

Looks like I have good reason to be wary now. She's been looking around for dates on her FB and went back to that dating site like she did with me. She is notorious for trying to get back in touch with exes to either keep them in the friend zone or get back together. I'm wise to her games, hell I was trained by the manchurian black ops of psycho women growing up.

The OM, that poor b@stard has no idea.... she may pretend to be the sweetest girl in the world, but under all that she is the neediest woman I have ever met and drove me crazy acting like a helpless child ALL THE TIME. She was an absolute nightmare to cut away from during divorce, because she hoovered like crazy. Rest assured I'm not going back to her.

I'm a very forgiving guy and tried very hard to reconcile, but she lost any opportunity for me to one day take her back the night I called, when I was at most suicidal and about to hang myself, and she told me to go ahead and do it. I wasn't looking to reconcile at that time but just wanted to hear her say all this wasn't my fault. Look I don't care how much you dislike a person, you don't egg them on when they're so depressed they're suicidal.... and this wasn't my first attempt either. Don't worry I got help later that week and have been taking my meds.
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Old 08-18-2012, 07:22 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I think I'm at a point now where I can stop spying on her online pages. As difficult as it was in the beginning when I would have sold my soul to get her back. It's hilarious to see now how her perfect life with her loser boyfriend didn't work out.

She.... broke up with him or will soon, must be hurting for money if she's involved in a pyramid scheme selling boxes of crap, she learned the hard way a teacher doesn't make much money, and you can't be drinking with GERDS.

After reading her dating profile and how she is "looking to actually have that one to treat her special, to not be hurt for once by all these mean guys, and how for once it would be nice to see some romantic behavior." It's not me, IT'S HER!

She's probably going to cheat time and time again blaming each one for something that happened to her early in life, change jobs like ladies change hair styles, and be just a miserable as she was when I found her.

I may not have my life completely back together but I know for sure I'm a lot better off without her. I can finally see how everything wasn't my fault and I shouldn't feel responsible for her affair and her divorce. I just wish I knew then what I knew now so I didn't marry her and allow her to pull me down with her.
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Old 08-19-2012, 07:55 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I may not have my life completely back together but I know for sure I'm a lot better off without her. I can finally see how everything wasn't my fault and I shouldn't feel responsible for her affair and her divorce. I just wish I knew then what I knew now so I didn't marry her and allow her to pull me down with her.
Its ok, Nsweet. Sometimes we just choose the wrong people to devote ourselves to. When that happens we can either choose to stay and be miserable or change things & choose to be happy.

But until you quit taking all the blame or beating yourself up about the decisions you made to stay in a toxic relationship, you can't move on and be happy. Looks like you are realizing that.

It looks like you are on your way to being happy....congrats. Its a nice road to finally be on after darker days, isn't it?
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Old 08-19-2012, 08:34 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why is she interested all of a sudden?

Thanks!
Truth be told I'm glad I'm single and broke because what little money I have is my money. I can tell my self to shut up whenever I get mad at myself, and I know I'm still going to have sex with myself.

But at the same time I kinda feel bad for her. Not for her dumping the OM, I knew that was going to happen the day she told me she thought she "could fix her teenager". The man's my age still shopping at hot topic and thinks he's more mature than me.

She's being scammed by a gifting pyramid scheme and doesn't even know.... And this isn't even the first time she's been taken. She sucks with money! Right before she filed she lost $900 to another get rich quick scheme.

The right thing to do would be to try to warn her, but I know how she is. If she wouldn't pull lint out of a dryer without an argument then she won't listen to anyone. I'm just going to forget about her and hope she doesn't come back to cause trouble on FB with my next relationship. Oh wait! Thank God I don't use facebook.
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