Ex-husband does not want to move out
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Life After Divorce » Ex-husband does not want to move out

Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 02-08-2013, 05:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Ex-husband does not want to move out

My husband and I divorced amicably in November 2012. The reason that I wanted a divorce was because he was starting to stray and chatting to other women etc. This was a cycle repeated every few months. I did not want carry on risking all that I worked so hard for all my life so that he can take half and enjoy it with another woman. I asked that we make a clean cut but that we can still live together. The condition was that if he goes back to that unacceptable behavior then he needs to move out. He agreed. He was on his best beahaviour for a few months and now he is back to square one. I have asked hime to leave but he refuses saying that he has nowhere to go. What are my rights seeing that he was living with me all this time. There was nothing in writing.
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Old 02-08-2013, 06:21 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

Uh..but you are DIVORCED. Technically he can "stray" and "chat" with any woman he likes! What kind of "agreement" is that? Why did you get divorced?

You need to make a "clean cut" alright. That would mean his moving out and you accepting the fact that you are no longer married and he can do whatever he wants when it comes to other women.

As far as the house goes, that's something that should've been addressed in the divorce settlement. If you never addressed it then you need to do it now. You might need to get legal advice on this one. He might have as much right to be there as you do. It all depends on what was in your settlement with regards to the house.
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Old 02-08-2013, 06:29 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

We are renting so it does not belong to either of us. I have asked him to take all that belongs to him and move out. That is in the divorce settlement. He agreed to divorce because he wanted me to trust him. Which I did until he started again!

I accept that that is the way he is but I don't want him doing that in my face all the time. He can do what he wants outside my house. I can see all the texts, facebook message/chats, calls.
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Old 02-08-2013, 07:47 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

If you're divorced but living together (why you'd agree to this, I have no idea!), I'm guessing that legally, you'd be treated as two roommates who are squabbling. Legally, he might have as much right to live there as you do, if both your names are on the lease. I'd start by talking to the local "landlord/tenant" advisory board for free advice, or your lawyer if money isn't as much of a concern.

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Old 02-08-2013, 09:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

You might not have a legal basis to get your Ex out of the home if both your names are on the lease. If it's in the settlement then you might have some leverage. Or not.

Getting a divorce to KEEP your husband from cheating seems like a VERY odd way of doing things. Most people go MC or something..
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Old 02-08-2013, 05:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

I think we are all confused as to why you got divorced and remained living together. Were you still "together" as a couple?

At this point, maybe you should look for another place to rent. Just leave him and be done with it now that the divorce is final and you know the relationship is not going to work.
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Old 02-08-2013, 05:57 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

PBear is full of all kinds of spectacular advice today. Room-mate tiff, is he atleast prompt paying his share of the rent? Maybe he is just mooching...
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:16 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

First, tell him he broke your verbal agreement, so he better start looking. Second, make him stay in his room, you don't have to see him if you don't want to. Third, don't waste your time looking at his facebook or emails and phone etc. You are both free to do whatever you want. It may help him want to leave if you are doing your own thing. If he hears you laughing on the phone with a guy or sees you with someone, it could be painful enough to make him want to move. Just a thought...
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:28 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

Eenilan you should research how to get a problem room mate evicted because that's what you guys are now. Obviously hindsight is 20/20 so I'm not even going to ask.
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Old 02-09-2013, 08:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

Depending on where you are, you could require 30 days' notice of eviction. How long is your lease? Can you make it til then? I'd go ahead and give the land lord your intent to vacate at the end of the term.

Depending on how vindictive he may become, take photos of your home complete with the front page of the local newspaper in each photo to document date taken and status of rental as of that date. It would be awful for him to trash the place and lose your deposit and have to pay for repairs. Been there, documented, sued and won.
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Old 02-09-2013, 10:23 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

If it's written in the divorce settlement then file a petition with the court that he's in contempt and have him removed from the house.
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Old 02-09-2013, 10:40 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

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Originally Posted by kindi View Post
If it's written in the divorce settlement then file a petition with the court that he's in contempt and have him removed from the house.
100/1 odds that it's NOT written anywhere. At least not the part he's violating. If so then they are single adults sharing a lease. Surely there are ways to have a room mate evicted but not with them still assuming a portion of the rent. I haven't seen that made mention of but...

OP are you wanting him to leave and still pay half rent because you want be able to pull that off IMO. If you just want him gone then you have avenues maybe.
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:15 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

In an earlier post it was suggested rather ambiguously that it "was in the settlement". But I now read that there's nothing in writing about him leaving.

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Originally Posted by Eenilan View Post
I have asked him to take all that belongs to him and move out. That is in the divorce settlement.
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Originally Posted by Eenilan View Post
There was nothing in writing.
That's one heck of an incomplete divorce.

You can't evict him then.

Either move out yourself or wait until the lease ends and you can both go your separate ways.

Next time you get a divorce make sure you cover all the bases.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:01 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

Living with the X for ANY reason: NO!

Ex-Husband Moved Back In, Hates That I'm Dating...Help!

That's my little tidbit to share... I can't see it ever working to be honest with you. There's a reason we're all divorced (many reasons I should say) and I think a clean break is necessary to move on.

Good luck!!
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ex-husband does not want to move out

What's in writing is that he moves out once the divorce is finalized.

She verbally agreed to let him stay IF he acted appropriately. THAT is what's not in writing.

So on this I think the divorce decree trumps the verbal agreement. Yes I'm aware verbal agreements are legally binding but I think you'd both have a hard time proving this. And even if you could he still broke that agreement too.

So have him served and get him out. You have every legal right to make him leave. The divorce was just finalized 3 months ago so law enforcement won't think anything of it. You'll just simply say "he won't leave". End of story.

Last edited by Mavash.; 02-11-2013 at 12:11 PM.
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