The thing I despise the most is on medical forms where you have to fill in your "emergency contact person." I don't have any family in the area, and of course I could put a friend's name but that would be kind of weird. Those moments are gutting, because it brings up the thought: "I have no one. I am alone." Ugh, self-pity is the worst. I can't afford "poor me" thinking. That's why I volunteer alot at the local food pantry -- there is no better way to stay grateful and count my blessings than helping those less fortunate. And you're right about IC, it should be about getting my head on straight and sorting myself out.
I know what you mean about the forms, and feeling like you're alone. I don't have family here except for DS, and he's only 10, so if anything happened to me, we'd both be up a creek! I've had to list friends as emergency contacts, too. One thing I've realized is that there are a LOT of people out there in our situation. Many, many people are on their own, and have created 'family' of sorts from the friends they have. They do things together and are there for each other. (and incidentally, I've seen quite a few people treated badly by blood family, so that doesn't guarantee anything.
) The husband of one of my best friends was diagnosed with cancer last fall (thankfully, he seems to be doing well now). But it really got me thinking about how they went through it as a couple, and if I were in that position, I'd be having to depend on the kindness of friends and maybe even volunteers to help me with getting to appointments, treatments, etc. Made me feel pretty sad. Not where I ever thought I'd be. But I had to realize that with the way Ex was, I didn't really have him by the last part of our time living together anyway. He was physically there, but not emotionally. I felt very alone and desperate with him right next to me. Realizing that helped in a way. It made the situation not seem so new and desperate. After all, I'd already been on my own for a while, I just hadn't seen it that way. Maybe it will feel that way for you, too, after a while. The feelings of loss won't seem so new and acute.
For me, there was some comfort in knowing this territory of being on my own has been trod many, many times already by others. And they've made it through OK. Chances are, I will, too. And so will, you.
Volunteering is a great way to keep grounded and also to keep from being isolated. We have cultural events like film and music festivals here that use a lot of volunteers, too. Maybe they have those where you are? It opens up other opportunities to meet new people and have some fun. Especially if finances are tight.