The singles of TAM - Page 2315 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #34711 of 34769 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 09:10 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

????

what doesnt work ?


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post #34712 of 34769 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 09:21 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

I'm saying your idea of shutting up about your thoughts and opinions, it's not exactly a bad thing, as it adds mystery.

Not necessarily being dishonest/acting stupid/bimboish bc that's just bleh, but keeping your thoughts to yourself until someone has earned the right to hear it, works wonders.
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post #34713 of 34769 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 11:26 AM
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Ya

I am telling myself to shut up n i know i will appear cold n aloof .

Talk n i am too opinionated .

I dont normally talk too much , dont get me wrong . Just that when i do , the contents may be heavy or too much .

Wtf

Anyway being airhead was a gf's idea . I definitely won't pass for that unless i am drunk

Last edited by tripad; 12-27-2016 at 11:35 AM.
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post #34714 of 34769 (permalink) Old 12-27-2016, 11:33 AM
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Anyway

I dont control how others think .

As long as i don't get my income from them , people can think whatever they want . I am busy enough pleasing people who are paying into my bank account .
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post #34715 of 34769 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 01:45 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

I'm sorry for those of you who had the misfortune to have to deal with difficult family.

We can pick our friends but not our family. They are wished upon us.

I am so lucky. I am so blessed! I have had the best holiday with my mom and sister and brother and nieces and nephews. We all stay in my mom's house and play games and laugh and have a blast.

Several of you told me to take my ex-boyfriend's ring back and get something for myself. Well I did that. And the Gods have told me that getting him anything was a mistake for sure. My mom and I spent the day going to antique stores and consigment shops (I LOVE antiques!) and I bought a beautiful solid cherry antique HUGE grandfather clock with the most beautiful chimes... for $160!!!! Long story, but the consigner had to move his big pieces by the end of the day so he absolutely slashed the prices. This clock is worth over $2000 easily.

I collect clocks. (No, my ex never knew that). I love antiques (No, my ex never knew that).

What I am most thankful about for 2017 is that I FINALLY GET IT!!! I have wasted 1.5 years on a man who never cared about me, who blamed everything on me. I was so tired of trying to make it work. I asked him, very recently, if he would see me for half an hour in a public place if I flew there at my time and my dime. No, he could not do that. Yet, he can sit around and wait for his ex-fiance to decide when she wants to see him. F*ck that.

I thank my lucky stars that I am over that crap, that I will go find the better that I deserve, and that I will not waste another day doing the same insanity that I have done. I also thank HIM for being a prick such that it ended any feelings I ever had for him.

Onward forward!!!!

Tonight I went to a pre-NYE party with a bunch of my high school friends (here in my hometown - some of them still live here, most came in for the holidays). Because why not have a pre-NYE party? It was fun. Reminiscing about old times.

Tomorrow will be the big NYE party and I can't wait. And yes there will be a man there who has been "in love with me from afar" for the last 20+ years. Tonight was the first time I've seen him since then. Who knows.

I hope others are happy and grateful too. It's a new year!

"There's an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted. Once all the houses have been ripped apart. The wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant. But only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it."
-- Meredith Grey

Last edited by Hope Shimmers; 01-03-2017 at 10:16 PM.
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post #34716 of 34769 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 01:48 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

Here is my $160, solid cherry, HUGE antique beautiful grandfather clock!

The pendulum and weights and chimes are wrapped so that I can transport it tomorrow.
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"There's an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted. Once all the houses have been ripped apart. The wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant. But only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it."
-- Meredith Grey
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post #34717 of 34769 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 07:55 AM
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My my ! What a beautiful clock !!!

In my city , 160 cant even get a G shock watch !!!!
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post #34718 of 34769 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 11:03 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

Thanks tripad, usually not here either. Now I just have to get the thing here (about 20 miles). I have engaged a couple of capable volunteers though, so I don't think I will have to lift a finger

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That explains what i wrote earlier that maybe i need to shut up about my opnions n thoughts
Never do that. Especially not for a SO. Take it from me. If they can't deal with your opinions and thoughts, that's too damn bad and it's on them.

"There's an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted. Once all the houses have been ripped apart. The wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant. But only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it."
-- Meredith Grey
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post #34719 of 34769 (permalink) Old 01-03-2017, 11:49 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

@Hope Shimmers

I love it!

I have been spending a lot of time with my friend. Most times we just sit around and watch TV, yet he is so comforting and feels right. I am back at work . We have been together since Thursday evening, miss him this morning.

It is a strange feeling. We are not together. We are friends, we have fun, are goofy together, sex is almost tantric, spiritual, joyful, we have felt each other's heartbeats.... On NYE, we snuck into a bird's sanctuary after hours. It must have been like 9pm
We heard the birds singing (soooo loud), saw the stars (so bright), and held each other close (so warm)

almost feels like dancing with a free spirit. I am one and so is he.

I say Left, but mean Purple
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post #34720 of 34769 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 12:32 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

Me and cuddlebunny are fighting!



Well... sorta, more like I hate how she says "I'll support you with whatever decision you make" cause I can't believe it and when I can't believe it I feel like she's trying to lie to me. Bah!

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post #34721 of 34769 (permalink) Old 01-16-2017, 02:35 PM
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Re: The singles of TAM

Well the Older Man and I are finally talking break up. We actually did break up but he came back and said lets talk next weekend when the kids are gone. I decided to give him that but honestly I dont think its going to help much. I love him but no matter what he says I doubt he really loves me.
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post #34722 of 34769 (permalink) Old 01-16-2017, 09:23 PM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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Well the Older Man and I are finally talking break up. We actually did break up but he came back and said lets talk next weekend when the kids are gone. I decided to give him that but honestly I dont think its going to help much. I love him but no matter what he says I doubt he really loves me.
I think you can find better--a man who will meet your needs. And you deserve a man who actually LOVE you.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #34723 of 34769 (permalink) Old 01-16-2017, 10:08 PM
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Re: The singles of TAM

I've been divorced > 2 years now. I don't feel married and I don't feel single. Ha ha. It's an odd feeling.

.........><)))#">
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post #34724 of 34769 (permalink) Old 01-17-2017, 12:46 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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I've been divorced > 2 years now. I don't feel married and I don't feel single. Ha ha. It's an odd feeling.
When you marry, "spouse" becomes part of your identity, and it becomes internalized. It can take a long time to shed that part of your identity.

I've been divorced for over 3 yrs now... I've never really reverted to feeling "single." Instead, I feel divorced. I don't know that I'll ever feel single again. (I'm in a relationship now, which seems to be working for me, so I'm not really single now, anyway... we shall see what happens.)

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #34725 of 34769 (permalink) Old 01-17-2017, 09:26 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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When you marry, "spouse" becomes part of your identity, and it becomes internalized. It can take a long time to shed that part of your identity.

I've been divorced for over 3 yrs now... I've never really reverted to feeling "single." Instead, I feel divorced. I don't know that I'll ever feel single again. (I'm in a relationship now, which seems to be working for me, so I'm not really single now, anyway... we shall see what happens.)
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