The singles of TAM - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 09:56 AM Thread Starter
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The singles of TAM

I thought it would be neat to start a thread for all the new singles here at TAM. As we all know it is hard for others to understand what we have been through without experiencing it themselves. So this thread is a place to discuss moving forward with life. Meeting new people, dating (when and how) and who knows maybe maybe someone will make a connection here. Anyway this is just a place to share your experiences and get and give advice for others.

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post #2 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 09:59 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

HI Muskrat! Good to hear you are surviving...
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post #3 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:00 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

What if we already made a connection here? lol
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post #4 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:01 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

did somebody call for a creepy stalker?

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post #5 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The singles of TAM

I will go first. I am still legally married. My stbxw moved out 13 months ago after an 18 month in house separation. The divorce is going very slowly (mainly due to her unwillingness to discuss anything). I recently filed for custody of our 2 kids, dd age 7 and ds age 4.
So my question is when is the right time to start dating? I am not looking for a serious relationship right now, but it would be nice to go on some casual dates.
Where is the best place to meet new people? I work alone and live in a small town.
What is the best way to approach someone of interest? There is a lady from my church who I know is single and I find attractive. How do I approach her to get to know her better? I know her kids and they are very friendly and outgoing (they are in a class I teach). I want to talk to her, but I am not sure where to start or what to say.
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post #6 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:05 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

Can I join? Hopefully in just a few more days, when and if the gavel finally falls?

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #7 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:05 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The singles of TAM

wow, you ladies are fast! lol
If you already made a connection that is great. You can still add some input and advice for others.
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post #8 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:31 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Almostrecovered View Post
did somebody call for a creepy stalker?
Im fully single again AR... you are free to stalk
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post #9 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:34 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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Im fully single again AR... you are free to stalk

oh noes! what happened to buff engineer dude?

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post #10 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:34 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

Muskrat just start talking to her about her kids... easy since you are in a class you teach. however if it progresses to dating i would make sure you are clear on you intentions that you are just looking for casual. ( though knowing you muskrat im going to guess you will go all in )

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post #11 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:37 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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oh noes! what happened to buff engineer dude?
engy ended up being a commitment phobe he panicked and freaked out when it was time to take the next step... just happened a little bit ago... im heartbroken but im sure ill be ok, im sure i will find some guy out there to love me
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post #12 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:39 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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engy ended up being a commitment phobe he panicked and freaked out when it was time to take the next step... just happened a little bit ago... im heartbroken but im sure ill be ok, im sure i will find some guy out there to love me
I'm sure you will, you are fantastic catch imo
shame engy ended up being a dummy in letting you go

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post #13 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:39 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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I'm sure you will, you are fantastic catch imo
shame engy ended up being a dummy in letting you go
Thanks AR
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post #14 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 10:48 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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How do I approach her to get to know her better? I know her kids and they are very friendly and outgoing (they are in a class I teach). I want to talk to her, but I am not sure where to start or what to say.
Tread very carefully here, rat. Dating within the current social circle when you already know the kids can be treacherous. There can be a comfort level that allows the kids to see too much too soon. Plus, if it goes badly, it's drama on everyone. Do everything in your power to keep your dating life away from both sets of kids.

"Somewhere in my many trail runs and weight lifting sessions I found more than physical strength. I found I had the emotional strength I needed to survive my divorce and come out happy on the other side." Yep.
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post #15 of 34745 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 11:09 AM
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Re: The singles of TAM

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Originally Posted by muskrat View Post
wow, you ladies are fast! lol
If you already made a connection that is great. You can still add some input and advice for others.
My advice: BE YOURSELF

If you date someone who doesn't like something about who you are as a person get rid of them. Or if you seem to clash when you are doing nothing but being yourself...ditch em. No time for that crap. If someone can't respect you for being you they are not worth your time.

And if you aren't sure who "you" are, date yourself first. And make a list of the character traits you want out of a partner if you are looking for something LT.
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