Looming of Wedding Anniversary - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-04-2013, 05:36 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
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Looming of Wedding Anniversary

It's my wedding anniversary on Sunday. Boy do I not need this at the moment. It's formally my 6th anniversary and will be my last in this relationship as the Divorce will be final in early September. So why the hell does the thought of Sunday make me feel sick to the pit of my stomach? OK- it's also one of my best mates birthday and I'm going to a Christening as well, but I just know it's going to loom like a big black cloud over the day.

So how do I cope with it guys? Any advice?

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-05-2013, 12:08 AM
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Re: Looming of Wedding Anniversary

I feel you! My 11th anniversary,my birthday and my divorce being final will be within 1 week of each other. I'm trying just to look at it as the end of this chapter and the beginning of the best chapter of my life,as hard as that is to do,you have to keep moving forward and looking ahead to what great things life has to offer you.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-05-2013, 01:37 AM
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Re: Looming of Wedding Anniversary

The best advice I can give is to take the day back. Make it about you, and not about the anniversary. The more years you invested, the longer it might take to go past the memory of what the day has been (and I say that whether your memories are good ones or bad ones).

Get together with friends but tell them way ahead of time that you'd rather not hear references to your ex, if you don't think that will make them uncomfortable. Get out of town if you can, even on an overnighter. Take yourself out to dinner at a place you've wanted to try but couldn't because the ex wouldn't have liked it. Make it about celebrating you -- the fact that you've survived this process.

Do your best to dissociate that date from your previous life.

(My ex walked out, but I ended up doing all the legal heavy lifting for the D. As it happened, I filed the day before our 12th anniversary. Our final hearing was Valentine's Day of this year. It's tough, but you can get through it.)

I'm undecided on which pants to wear today -- smarty, fancy or sassy?
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-05-2013, 10:38 AM
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Re: Looming of Wedding Anniversary

Agree ^

Make it about your friend's birthday! Think about all of the reasons you are glad to be out of that relationship - even if you felt it was great, apparently it was a lie so celebrate the truth and the freedom that brings. Put a positive spin on it.


“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." - Albert Camus
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-02-2013, 10:09 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
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Re: Looming of Wedding Anniversary

Monday will be my next and last.

Not sure how I will feel since I know the M is over. I think my subconscious will create an invisible sadness.

Luckily, I have some committments to keep me busy.

The crappy part is that if it wasn't for some tax implications I would already be D, which I am looking forward to the finality that will come with that day.

Happily anticipating the anniversary of the day I met my current GF, October 20, yea!

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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 10:03 AM
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Indiana
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Re: Looming of Wedding Anniversary

Anniversary is a tough day. My counselor made a real point to have me doing something with someone on that day. I didn't really think it would be an issue, but boy was I wrong. As already suggested..."Seize the day!" do something fun with someone!
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 08-06-2013, 10:13 AM
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Re: Looming of Wedding Anniversary

Sorry. Anniversaries are tough to deal with! It's good that you are going to be keeping yourself busy that day. That already sounds like a good coping mechanism. Try not to get down if your mind goes there: just appreciate it for what it was and that it is now a part of your past and you will now be making new memories, chapters in your life.
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