Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Long Term Success in Marriage If you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.

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post #46 of 91 (permalink) Old 01-10-2014, 09:06 AM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

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Originally Posted by Unique Username View Post
Heck let's blame the King of England as it is HIS regime that brought us to America anyway!!!
I think you're dead on here. Let's be blunt, he pulled the ultimate "ME" move by killing off wives and when the Catholic church wouldn't allow him to divorce them, he said "I'm the King damnit, I'll just start MY OWN religion so I can toss these ladies aside...even though I'm the one who's chromosomally challenged".


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post #47 of 91 (permalink) Old 01-21-2014, 09:30 AM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

I am always skeptical when I read that the younger generations are deemed inferior or not as good as the older ones. There is no lack of selfishness or materialism among couples with many years of "successful" marriage.
We should not confuse length of marriage with healthy marriage.
My parents and grandparents never divorced, but none were happy in their marriage.
I am happy in mine but I was not led by example, that's for sure.
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post #48 of 91 (permalink) Old 01-21-2014, 10:19 AM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

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I am always skeptical when I read that the younger generations are deemed inferior or not as good as the older ones. There is no lack of selfishness or materialism among couples with many years of "successful" marriage.
We should not confuse length of marriage with healthy marriage.
My parents and grandparents never divorced, but none were happy in their marriage.
I am happy in mine but I was not led by example, that's for sure.
They say every generation had a self centered portion. It's usually based around an age range.
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post #49 of 91 (permalink) Old 01-21-2014, 10:50 AM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

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They say every generation had a self centered portion. It's usually based around an age range.
What would you say the age range is, treyvion?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #50 of 91 (permalink) Old 01-21-2014, 10:56 AM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

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What would you say the age range is, treyvion?
Somewhere between 21 and 30. People go through the range of things that make people grow and understand life.
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post #51 of 91 (permalink) Old 01-29-2014, 09:41 AM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Because now the trend is an even more viscious curve. Everyone talks about the 50% failure rate for marriages.
What about the simple fact that THE LONGER YOU STAY MARRIED, THE MORE LIKELY YOU ARE TO DIVORCE ?

Long term marriage is becoming RARE.
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post #52 of 91 (permalink) Old 02-02-2014, 06:34 AM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Divorce is easier now, it's that simple. It may be very painful, but so is being forced to stay in a marriage because you have no other recourse.

Women of previous generations were often utterly ruined by divorce. Swallowing every bit of their self-respect and tolerating her husband's mistresses and his ways was preferable to being the object of social shame and all that went with it. And now with women more financially successful it means that eventually the financial wreckage that men have suffered over the last 50 or so years in divorce courts will also become less. The laws have been changing for some time and will continue to.

It's not just about "me". Fact is that women are more able to live singly now, and many men like that. It means women are more available, it means more opportunities for love and sex, it means that they don't expect you to take care of them since they can take care of themselves, but they're pleased for what you do for them (well....often times). I love my wife, but I do not want to be her gatekeeper. I have my own life and I want her to live hers, and as long as we both want to share it, what more can I ask? And if that means one day she ends up leaving me, so be it.

It's not easy to find someone you can continue to love throughout your life, and sometimes it takes a couple of tries, but I don't agree with the general lament about marriage--men and women will still want to share love unless misunderstanding between the sexes becomes really bad. That desire won't go away. It's just that finding the one that you are willing to share it all with is hard.

And some people are just not cut out for it. They get married because of the dream, and then realize too late that it's not for them. Let them go, as they say.

Last edited by PreRaphaelite; 02-02-2014 at 06:46 AM.
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post #53 of 91 (permalink) Old 02-07-2014, 08:14 PM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

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A good marriage is about waiting for the right person. The person you marry must share your core values. You need to look for someone who in their core matches you. To do this you must first know who you are and what you believe.


I really agree with the part that says that you must first know who you are and what you believe. Something that should be taught to further generations.
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post #54 of 91 (permalink) Old 02-08-2014, 04:14 AM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

My parents would be part of the more patient generation. They have been married almost forty years, of five kids, two died, one suffers greatly from illness and two prosper. They have saved and still live modestly, despite being now more financially secure than they could have hoped.

They were very pleased with my fiance when we got married. Less then two years later my Dad tires of me waiting to say anything and mentions that if I do go for a divorce I will have his full support.

Thankfully, he did not get smug and superior as he was born a generation before me.
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post #55 of 91 (permalink) Old 05-09-2015, 02:29 PM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

It's only going to get worse. It seems that every generation becomes more me and me. Look at Japan right now. Nobody is dating or getting married. I believe this is the future.

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post #56 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 06:14 PM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Hello everyone.....I am new here, and this thread caught my attention right away. I completely concur with everything the OP said here, and see a lot of that too in people.

Culture also plays a large role here i.e. some cultures are more disciplined and strict than others in say the western world, where kids don't even get to repeat a grade when they fail, simply because their feeling shouldn't be hurt.

My 9yr marriage failure was a victim of this mentality, as my ex had her mum do everything for her, and didn't instill work ethic or the importance of education. I was the complete opposite.

Since my divorce, I have come across women both single with no kids and those with kids, who have a complete sense of entitlement, but try to mask this with a pretense. I am in my early 40s by the way...a professional, single dad (1 kid), well traveled, fit, and volunteer in the community.

I look around with today's teenagers, and I can't even imagine what kind of future they are going to have relationship wise when are all mostly like each other. Not to gender bash, but we continue to have Moms becoming BFFs with their daughter, and scared of disciplining them when they do something wrong i.e. raising kids to be just like them. Yes...some men are raising their sons to be lazy bums too who can't even do simply laundry or cook.

Unfortunately these days, there seems to be a lot of 30 plus marriages coming to an end.

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Male, married 26 years, 2 college age kids, success reason:

Because both of us took the words "till death do us part" seriously. We committed to the institution of marriage, and the two of us are just in it for the ride. Do we always love each other, yes. Do we always like each other, no.
Take each other for granted, yes. We both take for granted the knowledge that the other is committed, and whatever our arguments, there will be the two of us when it is ironed out.
So many of today's relationships die because the parties only know about "me". They have been raised in the "me" generation, they have been forever (mostly falsely) praised by their parents so as to not hurt their self esteem. Momma and daddy have never let them struggle through something, and blatantly fail, so they have no skills to put together an ensuing plan to succeed. They have been given everything and told that they can have everything the want in life.....BS.
They are self centered and egotistical immature people who do not understand that their partner is not there to make them happy and constantly pump up their fragile ego.
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post #57 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 06:52 PM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

YO, get off my lawn.....lol.
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post #58 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 07:46 PM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

To the words in bold...if this was the case, then women from mid to long term marriages, won't be asking for alimony aka spousal support. Now before you jump down my throat, yes I gather NOT all pursue SS, but majority do out of spitefulness.

Who in their right mind will be happy paying indefinite SS, even when that woman decides to go shack up with some other guy, and in the process living larger than buddy paying her every month?

Still think marriage has something to offer you? Think again

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Originally Posted by Duguesclin View Post
I am always skeptical when I read that the younger generations are deemed inferior or not as good as the older ones. There is no lack of selfishness or materialism among couples with many years of "successful" marriage.
We should not confuse length of marriage with healthy marriage.

My parents and grandparents never divorced, but none were happy in their marriage.
I am happy in mine but I was not led by example, that's for sure.
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post #59 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 09:11 PM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

I know a lot of unhappy couples who have stayed together b/c it is what they believed was right--usually for religious reasons. Interesting to note that the women in these marriages were primarily homemakers.

I also know a lot of happy couples, including younger couples, who have their difficult times but work through them. The women in these situations all work, so they have the option of leaving. Maybe, after a decade or more, some of these marriages will fail.

I know for a fact that many of the women who "stuck it out" in the old days wished they had the option to leave. They will say they stayed b/c they didn't have another choice--and they mean it; poverty was not a choice for them and their kids, so they stuck it out.

As for the generational issue--I work with a lot of terrific young people. Not everyone under 20 is a self-entitled brat. Do I know some kids who are? Sure--but then, I knew them when I was young, too, in the 70s. Lots of kids today are being raised right. You just don't hear much about the majority that does the right thing and doesn't make waves about it or expect a parade. They'll be fine as individuals, and they will probably get to re-define marriage as have several generations before them now.
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post #60 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 01:29 PM
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Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

I blame Elvis and his swingin' hips!

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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