Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Long Term Success in Marriage If you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.

User Tag List

 144Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #61 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 02:33 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 54
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

I blame all the reality TV show crap....Bachelorette, Bachelor, Keepin up with whatever, housewives of whatever, Taylor Swift, Twitter, Instagram, Smartphones and the parents enabling the data usage.

When a kid has been raised with everything paid for, guess what happens when they start dating...yes, they expect stuff for free just because.

At least with hookers, you have an hourly rate.

arabian is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #62 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 04:17 PM
Member
 
Fozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,526
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I blame all the reality TV show crap....Bachelorette, Bachelor, Keepin up with whatever, housewives of whatever, Taylor Swift, Twitter, Instagram, Smartphones and the parents enabling the data usage.

When a kid has been raised with everything paid for, guess what happens when they start dating...yes, they expect stuff for free just because.

At least with hookers, you have an hourly rate.


Huh? I pay for everything for my kids because they're kids.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
Fozzy is offline  
post #63 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 04:31 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 803
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
I know for a fact that many of the women who "stuck it out" in the old days wished they had the option to leave. They will say they stayed b/c they didn't have another choice--and they mean it; poverty was not a choice for them and their kids, so they stuck it out.
Its very true. There's a lot of women who sell themselves and their kids out to stay in bad, unhealthy marriages because they're financially dependent on men.

I actually don't think the divorce rate is all bad. To me, it simply reflects that partners have a higher standard for marriage....they expect to actually be happy and fulfilled inside a marriage....not to just exist. There are a lot of people who've been married for a long time who are miserable and tolerate unbearable incompatibility in their partners. They tend to make their kids and everyone around them miserable too. I don't consider long marriages necessarily successful marriages.

Gone are the days when people were forced to stay in unhappy, miserable relationships because of the social stigma of divorcing. The issue is simply that marriage itself is outdated. It should be renewable rather than a life promise you make often when you're too young to reasonably guess future personal and life changes.

I think its wonderful that responsible women with self-esteem are financially independent and are able to make the choice to leave relationships that don't meet their needs.

That being said, there's nothing sweeter than seeing the two older people at the grocery store who've been lovingly married for 50 years and are still holding hands.
EnigmaGirl is offline  
 
post #64 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 05:50 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 54
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Confused.....? There are 18+ yr old kids still sponging, and that is what I speak of...get it now? These kids need to learn the value of money earlier, and get a job as soon as they hit pre-teen.

The only parent that will disagree with this, is one that had things given to them, and is probably living off a husband / wife.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fozzy View Post


Huh? I pay for everything for my kids because they're kids.
arabian is offline  
post #65 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 05:52 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 54
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage



i in every 2 marriages, and it's "not that bad"? If this was a business deal, not many will invest in it with this kind of odds

Quote:
Originally Posted by EnigmaGirl View Post
Its very true. There's a lot of women who sell themselves and their kids out to stay in bad, unhealthy marriages because they're financially dependent on men.

I actually don't think the divorce rate is all bad. To me, it simply reflects that partners have a higher standard for marriage....they expect to actually be happy and fulfilled inside a marriage....not to just exist. There are a lot of people who've been married for a long time who are miserable and tolerate unbearable incompatibility in their partners. They tend to make their kids and everyone around them miserable too. I don't consider long marriages necessarily successful marriages.

Gone are the days when people were forced to stay in unhappy, miserable relationships because of the social stigma of divorcing. The issue is simply that marriage itself is outdated. It should be renewable rather than a life promise you make often when you're too young to reasonably guess future personal and life changes.

I think its wonderful that responsible women with self-esteem are financially independent and are able to make the choice to leave relationships that don't meet their needs.

That being said, there's nothing sweeter than seeing the two older people at the grocery store who've been lovingly married for 50 years and are still holding hands.
arabian is offline  
post #66 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 06:03 PM
Member
 
GTdad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,082
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
and get a job as soon as they hit pre-teen.
So that would be what? 10? 11? Maybe carrying sheetrock or working on pipe racks?
GTdad is offline  
post #67 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 06:13 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 54
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Your fancy iphones, nike shoes, smart TV, Gucci bags, etc.....what do you think the median age of the worker producing those are in China?


Quote:
Originally Posted by GTdad View Post
So that would be what? 10? 11? Maybe carrying sheetrock or working on pipe racks?
arabian is offline  
post #68 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 06:14 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 803
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
i in every 2 marriages, and it's "not that bad"? If this was a business deal, not many will invest in it with this kind of odds
But that's the whole point...not everyone should get married. Hence its on the decline.

More importantly, before you get married, you need to realize there's a high rate of failure and financially protect yourself. Before my kids get married, I'm going to pull the latest files on divorce law in whatever state they're living in and review it with them so they understand what the risks are.

That being said, every relationship is a leap of faith...and taking 50% odds on being happy for the rest of my life? Well, I got married a second time...so there you go. There are compatibility factors which can increase your chances of success.
EnigmaGirl is offline  
post #69 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 06:15 PM
Member
 
GTdad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,082
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Your fancy iphones, nike shoes, smart TV, Gucci bags, etc.....what do you think the median age of the worker producing those are in China?
Well gosh, I guess I don't know how old the person was who made my Gucci bag.
GTdad is offline  
post #70 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 06:20 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 54
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Lame...of all the items I listed, you pulled that one? Fantastic

Quote:
Originally Posted by GTdad View Post
Well gosh, I guess I don't know how old the person was who made my Gucci bag.


arabian is offline  
post #71 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 06:23 PM
Member
 
GTdad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,082
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Lame...of all the items I listed, you pulled that one? Fantastic
Well, actually I don't own any of the items on your list.

But please, tell me more about how pre-teens need to get jobs.

Maybe a foundry operator? Sawmill worker?
GTdad is offline  
post #72 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 08:36 PM
Member
 
Fozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,526
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Of course! Why didn't I think of this sooner! By taking the kids out of school and making them slop hogs, or I dunno...polish the insides of artillery shells with their wee little fingers, WE CAN ELIMINATE DIVORCE!!!!

I predict this site will soon be obsolete.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
Fozzy is offline  
post #73 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-04-2015, 10:43 PM
Member
 
southbound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,710
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by breeze View Post
I think too many people go into marriage without due thought and consideration because they know they can bail as soon as the shine wears off. Work on it? Why, when there's surely something better out there. It's not a vow, it's a parking permit. I want to park in that space for a while and if I'm not happy, I'll just drive off.
Posted via Mobile Device
In the last several years, I have heard several preachers say they have had couples come to them asking to be married, and they already had the attitude that if it didn't work they could always get divorced. Culture sure has changed.
southbound is offline  
post #74 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 02:30 AM
Member
 
azteca1986's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: London
Posts: 1,306
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by GTdad View Post
Well, actually I don't own any of the items on your list.

But please, tell me more about how pre-teens need to get jobs.

Maybe a foundry operator? Sawmill worker?
Send the up chimneys or down coal mines. Sure, some of them will die but it will teach the survivors to value life. Win-win.

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Confused.....? There are 18+ yr old kids still sponging, and that is what I speak of...get it now? These kids need to learn the value of money earlier, and get a job as soon as they hit pre-teen.

The only parent that will disagree with this, is one that had things given to them, and is probably living off a husband / wife.
What about if your children are in higher education? Your predictive powers need a fine tune.

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
i in every 2 marriages, and it's "not that bad"? If this was a business deal, not many will invest in it with this kind of odds
If you were a moderately successful business owner you wouldn't place too much value on the negativity of someone who ran their own business into the ground. Do you know the failure rate for new businesses?

Besides, your marriage only lasted nine years, so you don't even qualify to be posting in this sub-forum.

That's another problem with the "me" generation. They think they have a right to be heard. They talk when they should listen.
azteca1986 is online now  
post #75 of 91 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 04:18 AM
Member
 
aine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
Posts: 2,580
Re: Too many "me" generationers for successful marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by lapdog View Post
Male, married 26 years, 2 college age kids, success reason:

Because both of us took the words "till death do us part" seriously. We committed to the institution of marriage, and the two of us are just in it for the ride. Do we always love each other, yes. Do we always like each other, no.
Take each other for granted, yes. We both take for granted the knowledge that the other is committed, and whatever our arguments, there will be the two of us when it is ironed out.
So many of today's relationships die because the parties only know about "me". They have been raised in the "me" generation, they have been forever (mostly falsely) praised by their parents so as to not hurt their self esteem. Momma and daddy have never let them struggle through something, and blatantly fail, so they have no skills to put together an ensuing plan to succeed. They have been given everything and told that they can have everything the want in life.....BS.
They are self centered and egotistical immature people who do not understand that their partner is not there to make them happy and constantly pump up their fragile ego.
There may be some truth in what you say, particularly with the 'instant gratification' generation but every marriage is different and divorce has been around a lot longer than the 1970s, added to that is the fact that there is more stress on couples nowadays with work, technology, working women, etc, it will affect the best of marriages. Further, in the old days people were not necessarily happy, the often lived in dead marriages because that is what everyone else did. As long as there is humanity, failings will accompany them, period.
aine is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
People use the verb "to use" in place of "to watch" porn to shame men. BrockLanders The Men's Clubhouse 462 08-30-2013 06:36 PM
Remember when you were newlyweds and calling your new spouse "husband" or "wife"... Wildflower3 Going Through Divorce or Separation 11 06-11-2013 03:03 PM
"The Romance" vs. "The Marriage" Conrad The Men's Clubhouse 5 05-20-2011 04:36 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome