In the last several years, I have heard several preachers say they have had couples come to them asking to be married, and they already had the attitude that if it didn't work they could always get divorced. Culture sure has changed.
Could anyone argue we are now living in a progressively "Disposal society
"... I've been reading some articles on this in the past couple weeks....
The cultural changes are VAST..the most disgruntled with marriage welcomes these changes, many would like to see Renewable Marriage Contracts
, feeling this will solve many things..
Me personally.. I am saddened
... What I see is.. with some of the gains for GOOD.. there have been many losses along the way ....what was once important, valued...has shifted to such a degree.. it's become habitual /common place that relationships aren't
meant to last...now we are told we are all non -monogamous so embrace it , enjoy it... why fight against our nature.
Along with this goes commitment, the idea of lasting love, fighting to save something when the "going gets rough"...
I haven't read this book.. but from the articles I have gathered.. this does a fine job explaining how we got HERE... The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement
....Take parents for example... While most parents teach their kids to be nice, the overall cultural push is to teach them to succeed/ to believe in themselves, self confidence is like a GOD... instead of teaching empathy for others, practicing gratitude, teaching children friendship skills, with the emphasis on others rather than self.
Me, me, me! America?s ?Narcissism Epidemic? - TODAY.com
People buy expensive homes with loans far beyond their ability to pay — or at least they did until the mortgage market collapsed as a result. Babies wear bibs embroidered with "Supermodel" or "Chick Magnet" and suck on "Bling" pacifiers while their parents read modernized nursery rhymes from This Little Piggy Went to Prada. People strive to create a "personal brand" (also called "self-branding"), packaging themselves like a product to be sold. Ads for financial services proclaim that retirement helps you return to childhood and pursue your dreams. High school students pummel classmates and then seek attention for their violence by posting YouTube videos of the beatings.
Although these seem like a random collection of current trends, all are rooted in a single underlying shift in the American psychology: the relentless rise of narcissism in our culture. Not only are there more narcissists than ever, but non-narcissistic people are seduced by the increasing emphasis on material wealth, physical appearance, celebrity worship, and attention seeking. Standards have shifted, sucking otherwise humble people into the vortex of granite countertops, tricked-out MySpace pages, and plastic surgery. A popular dance track repeats the words Money, Success, Fame, Glamour
over and over, declaring that all other values have "either been discredited or destroyed."
Reflecting on narcissism
Imagine a country where everyone acts like a reality show contestant — obsessed with power, status and appearance, and is comfortable manipulating others for their personal gain. “I’m here to win, not make friends,” would be the national motto.
This society would have high crime rates — white collar and violent — as people take whatever they feel entitled to, says Christopher Barry, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Southern Mississippi and lead editor of “Narcissism and Machiavellianism in Youth” (APA, 2010). Cosmetic surgery would be routine, materialism rampant, and everyone would seek fame or notoriety, he adds. It would also be a place with high rates of anxiety and depression. That’s because narcissists — people with an inflated sense of their importance and abilities — have trouble keeping friends, even though they are good at making them, Barry’s found.
“A narcissistic society would be a deeply lonely place,” Barry says.
According to some researchers, that is precisely where America is heading.
In this article
Narcissism is a psychocultural affliction rather than a physical disease...Understanding the narcissism epidemic is important because its long-term consequences are destructive to society. American culture's focus on self-admiration has caused a flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy. We have phony rich people (with interest-only mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (with plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures), phony athletes (with performance-enhancing drugs), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation), a phony national economy (with $11 trillion of government debt), phony feelings of being special among children (with parenting and education focused on self-esteem), and phony friends (with the social networking explosion). All this fantasy might feel good, but, unfortunately, reality always wins. The mortgage meltdown and the resulting financial crisis are just one demonstration of how inflated desires eventually crash to earth.
This is not to say that sometimes DIVORCE is the BEST OPTION ..
I found this to be a very balanced article....Disposable?relationships? | Vivid Life
.. on what is worthy to leave..(physically abusive, married to a pathological liar, etc) ..then it laid out where it should be given TIME, sincere effort /communication on both ends ....
Then I have found some other reasons that warrant a slower departure, after much consideration and attempts to reconcile (or at least part amicably)…
* Someone is unable or unwilling to communicate responsibly
* Someone is incapable or unwilling to keep their agreements
* Someone is repeatedly unwilling or incapable of seeing their part in the relationship
* Someone partakes in addictive behavior that created an unhealthy or unsafe environment (either emotionally or physically)
* Someone’s psychological needs becomes paramount and needs attention beyond the scope of either partner
* Someone’s behavior is constantly contradictory to the arrangements and agreements (implied or otherwise) set forth in the partnership...
You are absolutely convinced, based on careful observation and counsel, that regardless of what this person says or does you simply do not share the same reality, and are therefore left to accept that the chasm is too great to createreal intimacy.