Re: What gave me 10+ years of success
Hi draconis,
I'm new to this site, but have seen the advice you give to people. It always seems to cut right to the issue. I'm sure you've helped a lot of people.
I was a little saddened after reading your post because, until recently, my marriage was just like yours. Except, I'm the one who does more of the cleaning. The thing is, I haven't handled things as well as you. I didn't realize that doing a little bit more is so worth keeping such a special relationship.
Now, my marriage is suffering because of it. My husband is doing his part to create the perfect marriage. I'm not. I wish I had realized my mistake sooner. My husband and I have even talked about it in the past. It's my behavior that's not changing. Well, I think I've gotten a little better, but that's just not cutting it. My behavior has to stop. It really has to be okay for me to shoulder the housework and childcare. I have to stop resenting him for this. At least, I should not lash out at him about it. After all, he is now the sole breadwinner in the house. We planned this. I knew what I was getting into. It may be too late for us now. He now believes I never loved him, and for the first time in 15 years, has said that he doesn't love me anymore. I refuse to give up though. I'm going to fight for us with everything I have.
I would also like to add to your list:
Protection: Standing up for your spouse when someone hurts them, even if...specially if it's a family member, such as your mother.
My husband defends me no matter who he has to stand up to. Unfortunately, I also lag behind him in this area. I have let my mother and other people hurt him without saying anything. This has hurt our relationship in the past, but I became better at this, allowing us to move on. I believe protecting your spouse in all situations is important for a strong relationship, just as not protecting them can be debilitating.
Last edited by Xusan; 11-25-2008 at 04:43 PM.
Reason: added more
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