Cindy

Ok, I've been married 9 years, sorry, but that's a miracle considering....so I thought I'd share my humble knowledge against you guys who've been married longer than I've been alive...

I was what we now affectionatley call "knocked up" when I was 19 yrs old, not even a year out of high school but in the military and overseas. I was devastated, my budding life as an adult and all the fun came to an abrupt halt when the pregnancy test turned postive. My 20 yro boyfriend said, ok, lets get married. I said no at first but then finally gave in.

We were married in a foreign country at a JOP, no family, no wedding, no friends, couldn't even read what we were signing, since it was in another language. Both of us barely out of our teens and I in a maternity uniform, scared to death.

Fought like cats and dogs the first couple of years, even after our boy was born. I wanted to leave so many times. He was a cop and never home, and I felt alone and trapped. No sex, no real realtionship, just playing house trying to be parents. No relatives to help or babysit. It was just us and we didn't like each other. I think we stayed together at that time b/c neither of us were going to be the one to throw in the towel. We were both very immature and bullheaded.

Finally, we matured enough to talk without yelling and eventually could foresee issues and deal them before they were huge. We decided we were in this and that was it, both came from broken homes and didn't want that for our boy (who we both were completely in love with) no matter what. We were just going to have to deal and take responsibility for what we did. We would just have to put up with each other.

We both got out of the military so I could stay home with the boy and he could persue a law enforcement career. He worked as a security guard and brought home just enough to meet our needs and none of our wants. He worked at least 16 hrs a day while applying for cop jobs across the state, and my 2 yro and I had to be quiet all day in a 2 br apprtment while he slept. He had time to eat, sleep, and work for a year. My respect for him was huge. He was taking care of us as best he could at 22. Finally he was hired as a deputy in a very small county.

We moved, again, that meant the 6th new bedroom for my son who wasn't yet 3. We stuck together, became partners as parents and a couple. My husband is truly my other half, an extension of me. He is the best father I have ever seen. He talks to our son, takes him fishing and teaches him things. He makes us laugh with his stories and jokes. He's very good at communicating his feelings and listening to me in return. When I have a bad day, it's just not ok until I tell him about it. He's the rock I rely on and my soft place to fall, always! He keeps me grounded and is always honest with me, whether I want to hear it or not. He earns my respect and love daily. He is my best friend. I am the luckiest lady on the planet!

We just bought our first house, our son is 8, my husband is a sergeant now with the county and trusted by the community, and we've recently celebrated the birth of our new baby girl. I leave love notes for him, he calls me just to say he loves me, and we gross our lil boy out from time to time being mushy. Plus, even after baby, he still thinks I am the hottest woman on the planet...I know, he's crazy.

We aren't perfect and still have things to work on, but we are comfortable with each other like an old pair of shoes and we want to have a ceremony to celebrate our 10th anniversary. Not bad for getting pregnant, getting married, falling in love, and then having a wedding. (We don't recommend that route, however.) So as you can see, if has to be one thing that holds you together, it your decision to committ to your marriage on a daily basis. You will always have issues with communication, sex, money, and kids, but if you are committed to each other and your lives together, you will find a way through it all, and the benefits are wonderful. I can't wait for the next 10 yrs!

Sorry for the novel, thanks for reading...

draconis

Well written.

Thank you for sharing.

Welcome to the forums.

draconis

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www.myspace.com/draconis1973

Chris H.

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your incredible story!

Welcome to Talk About Marriage!

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Green-Moo

It's great to see a marriage that has survived hard times and grown stronger for them.

lisakifttherapy

This is a great testament to the fact that hard work in a relationship pays off. You may have started out with the cards stacked against you but look at you now! This is very inspiring.

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Lisa Brookes Kift, LMFT
Marin Therapy and Counseling
Mental Health and Relationship Tips, Tools and Advice

repunzel

WAW u are an inspiration for all the women and men who have lost hope in their marriage...i wish u success and happiness always...

TheLuckiest08

Wow.....your situation is an example of how relationships take WORK (even the best of them do). Many people run away when the going gets tough because they believe love should be fun all the time. Congrats to you guys!

happilymarried67

Congratualations to your both and your beautiful family. I hope you have an entire lifetime of happiness together.

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"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I need it most." --Anonymous

riskey58

awesome story. Shows people how hard work and true love can conquer all. Best of luck.

hitrockbottom

Damn...I just read that...I feel better..thanks

AlwaysAZ

What a wonderful story. Thank you for taking the time to share that.

justean

i think you show us all, that relationships all have ups and downs, good and bad times.
it doesnt mean getting divorced or splitting up at the first hurdle.
you show that marriage is for better or for worse.

a little gesture though,# if you could not read what you were signing, - you never know you might have missed the get out clause.

Suger_belle

Thank you for sharing. You are a live example that with determination, love and understanding, we can make our marriage work and stay happily everafter.

All the best to you!

Josh

Amazing story. You both deserve one each other and the happiness that you are building together.

Triton

That is great !