Ok, I've been married 9 years, sorry, but that's a miracle considering....so I thought I'd share my humble knowledge against you guys who've been married longer than I've been alive...
I was what we now affectionatley call "knocked up" when I was 19 yrs old, not even a year out of high school but in the military and overseas. I was devastated, my budding life as an adult and all the fun came to an abrupt halt when the pregnancy test turned postive. My 20 yro boyfriend said, ok, lets get married. I said no at first but then finally gave in.
We were married in a foreign country at a JOP, no family, no wedding, no friends, couldn't even read what we were signing, since it was in another language. Both of us barely out of our teens and I in a maternity uniform, scared to death.
Fought like cats and dogs the first couple of years, even after our boy was born. I wanted to leave so many times. He was a cop and never home, and I felt alone and trapped. No sex, no real realtionship, just playing house trying to be parents. No relatives to help or babysit. It was just us and we didn't like each other. I think we stayed together at that time b/c neither of us were going to be the one to throw in the towel. We were both very immature and bullheaded.
Finally, we matured enough to talk without yelling and eventually could foresee issues and deal them before they were huge. We decided we were in this and that was it, both came from broken homes and didn't want that for our boy (who we both were completely in love with) no matter what. We were just going to have to deal and take responsibility for what we did. We would just have to put up with each other.
We both got out of the military so I could stay home with the boy and he could persue a law enforcement career. He worked as a security guard and brought home just enough to meet our needs and none of our wants. He worked at least 16 hrs a day while applying for cop jobs across the state, and my 2 yro and I had to be quiet all day in a 2 br apprtment while he slept. He had time to eat, sleep, and work for a year. My respect for him was huge. He was taking care of us as best he could at 22. Finally he was hired as a deputy in a very small county.
We moved, again, that meant the 6th new bedroom for my son who wasn't yet 3. We stuck together, became partners as parents and a couple. My husband is truly my other half, an extension of me. He is the best father I have ever seen. He talks to our son, takes him fishing and teaches him things. He makes us laugh with his stories and jokes. He's very good at communicating his feelings and listening to me in return. When I have a bad day, it's just not ok until I tell him about it. He's the rock I rely on and my soft place to fall, always! He keeps me grounded and is always honest with me, whether I want to hear it or not. He earns my respect and love daily. He is my best friend. I am the luckiest lady on the planet!
We just bought our first house, our son is 8, my husband is a sergeant now with the county and trusted by the community, and we've recently celebrated the birth of our new baby girl. I leave love notes for him, he calls me just to say he loves me, and we gross our lil boy out from time to time being mushy. Plus, even after baby, he still thinks I am the hottest woman on the planet...I know, he's crazy.
We aren't perfect and still have things to work on, but we are comfortable with each other like an old pair of shoes and we want to have a ceremony to celebrate our 10th anniversary. Not bad for getting pregnant, getting married, falling in love, and then having a wedding. (We don't recommend that route, however.) So as you can see, if has to be one thing that holds you together, it your decision to committ to your marriage on a daily basis. You will always have issues with communication, sex, money, and kids, but if you are committed to each other and your lives together, you will find a way through it all, and the benefits are wonderful. I can't wait for the next 10 yrs!
Wow.....your situation is an example of how relationships take WORK (even the best of them do). Many people run away when the going gets tough because they believe love should be fun all the time. Congrats to you guys!
i think you show us all, that relationships all have ups and downs, good and bad times.
it doesnt mean getting divorced or splitting up at the first hurdle.
you show that marriage is for better or for worse.
a little gesture though,# if you could not read what you were signing, - you never know you might have missed the get out clause.