janesmith

and ive been struggling with not feeling emotionally connected to my husband. We have five kids, the two oldest just moved out and so we are left with the three youngest. Life is take up with working, worrying about bills, running the girls back and forth to activity during the week. He usually watches the game during free time and I chat on the internet. Ive been feeling this way a long, long, long time. I try to tell him what i need but im obviously speaking "woman" cause he dont get it.

He's an awesome guy. Runs kids around, does laundry, cooks, cleans, good sex, works, just seems very complacent. Feel we have stopped growing together. We go out on date nights (not for a while) and i dread them unless its a movie. Dinner is painful because we dont have anything to talk about. Talking about "feelings' leaves him with this look of dread on his face.

We have raised awesome kids together. But im 41 today and want to feel excited about life with im and I dont. I can see myself, when the last one leaves for college, just bouncing and getting my own spot to go i guess, discover myself on my own terms. being doing a lot of introspection trying to get out of my own way on the road to happiness. My fear is that while i work on me he stays the same and there will come a time when i wake up in the morning and think....today is the day, pack my stuff, and kiss him goodbye.

I used to wonder why people woud bother getting divorced after being married so long and now i know why.

michzz

Is it possible that you are depressed and it has effected your interactions with him?

janesmith

im sure how i feel is not the result of being depressed.

michzz

did the two of you do anything to celebrate?

janesmith

nope

michzz

That is sad. But you can change this.

janesmith

wished each other happy anniversay on facebook, lmao, that sounds so f*cking sad, when i type it. Kissed, wished each other happy anniversay, i gave him a card.

michzz

And I take it he didn't give you a card?

Has he ever?

janesmith

no and yes he has in the past.

Whatshisname

Please talk to him about how you feel and how serious this is to you.
I know it's not easy but he has no other way to know and from the sounds of him, he'll want to help change things. Just don't close him out too quickly.

Good luck.