robin

I love this forum there is so much that we can learn from one another. I have been married for eight years and I feel our marriage is as hot today as it was when we dated. However I don't want to fool you we have had our challenges some big ones along the way but what helped us each time is when we used the following 5 keys to turn on the hotness in our marriage.

1. We compete to make each other happy. This means we do everything we can to fulfill the other person's needs even if it means scarificing our own. I find when we ignore the wants and needs of each other is when we get into fights.

2. Verbally and physically be affectionate with each other. Everyday we say or do something that shows the other person how much we love them. This helps keep happy spirits in our home and marriage.

3. We read books and attend workshops were we learn new ways to keep that hotness going. We learned incorporating new ideas keeps the marriage alive and happy.

4. Taking a break from one another when we are not happy with what the other person has done or said. We learned from trial and error that talking to each other while angry feelings are rising is not the best time to talk.

5. Doing something fun with each other. There was a time we found ourselves drifting apart. We put other things first. We noticed by putting other things first we were taking each other for granted. Now we spend once a week doing something fun.

I would love to hear how everyone else keeps the hotness in their marriage.

Robin
Life's Little How To Book

MarkTwain

Good stuff! All 5 points are golden.

robin

Thanks! They are keys that need to be used always otherwise be ready for a cold draft. I think if a couple is motivated and determined they can have a successfully hot marriage.

Robin
Life's Little How To Book

justean

with my hubby and i , dont know what is is, cant live with or without eachother. but the hotness has improved and improved thoroughout our marriage. within most areas.
this came with the help of talking to others , listening to them and their ideas. this helped in all areas of our marriage.

MarkTwain

Two things helped us.

1) A guy on another forum showed me how to be more flirty and playful

2)I started practising semen retention, and that turbo boosted our sex life, in both quality and quantity.

robin

Justean that is great! Sounds like you two both work on your relationship. It really does take effort from both people. If just one person does the work and the other is lazy or doesn't want the hotness will not exist.

Mark I love your honesty. Too funny. LOL! It does take a woman alot longer to get through the sexual arousal stage than men. Your honey must be a happy camper.

Robin
Life's Little How To Book

MarkTwain

I am not sure if I explained myself properly... Semen Retention is a technique where the male deliberately does not ejaculate every time he has sex. In my case I aim for once a month, but that's probably a bit too long. Once per week suits a lot of people. We have sex most days, whereas before I started this practise, 3 times a week was the norm.

mommy22

This is all so true! I love making his favorite homemade whole wheat pancakes and using cookie cutters to make them into heart shapes. It sounds so cheesy but he loves it! Also, you are so right about the part about doing things for the other person even if we're sacrificing our own needs. I've tried to get in the habit of doing things for him first before I do them for myself. It's just the act of servanthood that makes you feel like a better person. Lastly, your thoughts about attending workshops/seminars are wonderful. It truly brings the focus back to you as a couple and takes the idea of "self" and throws it out the window. By nature, we're all entirely too selfish. I think a marriage that withstands everything is a true testament to selflessness. You have the opportunity to give yourself fully to someone else. We all fail at times but should be so thankful for second chances and should live and learn from our mistakes!

outgoingandfree

Thank you.

swedish

Great points!

Honey

Very good !

robin

Gotcha Mark.

Everyone else thanks! These tips really have made a difference in my life and I hope it will for you too.

Robin
Life's Little How To Book

jennyc

Great points...thanks for sharing!

robin

Thanks Jenny! I think if every couple incorporates those points in their marriage they will have a long lasting successful one.

Robin
Life's Little How To Book

kiran23

Hi Robin,
Thanks for Great information for Making Happy Marriage life...