Threetimesalady

We had lots of pre-marital sex, but no intercourse...

Mom6547

You said that marriage did not keep you from having an affair. That is a mighty odd thing to say.

And they STILL don't know what statistics are? Scary. When they are subjective, they generally don't qualify as statistics.

Runs like Dog

Catholic "Virgin"?

Threetimesalady

Yes, 12 years of parochial school...Now I wonder if I hadn't been schooled by Nuns, with the "death rather than sin" St. Maria Goretti syndrome, what would have happened?...Believe me, it could have been interesting.......TTAL...

Runs like Dog

I put it in quotes because the parochial girls I knew would do n-e-thing besides vaginal. Whatever they were teaching you girls, my lord, you were listening.

Blanca

Why is it odd?

__________________


"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie

Rough Patch Sewing

I think that sex is something that is very affected by social and religious norms. However, that is the external forces acting on each of our decisions. I think that each person innately places a personal value and sanctity evaluation on sex. For some it is simply what we do. True we are sexual beings. However, some people can place special significance to it on a very personal basis.

Some people hold sex in such a high regard that they actually want to save it for the person that they will love the rest of their life.

I think it depends on who you ask on a personal level.

unbelievable

I would much prefer to find out my partner was a non-sexual prude before marriage than after. Matter-of-fact, if anyone is dating or living with someone who keeps making excuses to not have sex, dump them NOW. You are seeing them at their Sunday best behavior and it'll just get worse once a ring is in place.

steak

Women who want to wait until marriage to have sex, more than likely hates sex and is really conservative about it or has a very low sex drive.

Mrs.G

topbanana

The title question is pre-marital sex or no? Which is kind of different to the actual question. Virginity isn't by any means the thing that binds people together in marriage, as others have rightly stated.

I'd say not having pre-marital sex is important, simply because pre-marital sex increases the likelihood that you've had sex with other people, and this creates baggage that life's just better without.

RandomDude

Personally believe virginity has little, if anything, to do with it.

Personally decided to marry a woman who is well... rather far from being a virgin, yet she's exceptionally loyal and has been trustworthy from day one. So I'm biased in this opinion.

Not necessarily, however I know from the missus' church that some people do find waiting until marriage 'worth it' in the end. And of course there's the common reply:
Non-Virgin: "No sex before marriage? How do you know if she's good in bed?"
Virgin: "Well, I obviously won't have anyone to compare her to will I?"

Heh


There will be issues to iron out, no different from any other marriage. I don't believe virginity alone should be considered such an important factor in marriage when there are always tons more.

Locard

If sex is the foundation of relationship and you must "try" them out, what happens after kids when sex is less frequent?? Just read this board. There is a reason that history has placed value on chastity and all the reasoning and justifying in the world can't change that.

If you are doing a study or research, have you viewed the Teachman research?

The Social Pathologist: Sexual Partner Divorce Risk

I would suggest young men and women ignore this at thier peril.

skitterend

There is research that shows that each time one has sex with a different partner the process of bonding with the next individual becomes more drawn out/difficult.
Having sex with an individual before or after marriage is not important. What is important is that you only have sex with someone you intend to marry.
I'd love to see the stats if there are any out there.
I do think that virgins are more likely to come from conservative homes that frown on divorce and value marital vows more than otherwise. This will lead to increased pressure on relationships to be worked through. The virginity wouldn't be the cause of the better success rate.
The same would be much more interesting to test against motherhood efficacy. We may just be surprised by the outcome for exactly the same reason I.e cultural bias results in better good mother like attributes(as defined in the western culture)

Locard

Chicken or egg argument. How many girls who were V's thought they were having sex w/ thier future husband? I do agree that the study I refrenced was total partners. There is a study that is similar that shows 1 partner vs a V on the wedding day and they are pretty darn close.