Long Term Success in MarriageIf you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.
View Poll Results: Is Virginity a guaranty for a successful marriage?
No. Doesn't mean anything. There are other values that are more important
It's not a cultural thing, it's a moral thing and a logical thing to remain a virgin till married. It's the most special of gifts you can offer your spouse. Sex is not just an act, it's a covenant that is made between two people (not 3,4,5,6 or 120...) that says, "I am yours and no one elses" And it is understanding the power of this covenant that will motivate young people to save themselves for that special someone.
It's not a cultural thing, it's a moral thing and a logical thing to lose your virginity well before marriage. Being an educated and responsible lover, with a deep understanding in how your body and the body of your spouse works and reacts, is the most special gift you can offer your spouse. Sex is not just an act, its a sophisticated set of skills and abilities that cannot be guessed at, intuited, or faked without dramatic and often unpleasant consequences for the parties involved, a matter of respect and love in the covenant that you eventually make with your spouse. It says "I give a damn enough about you as a person and a lover not to give you lousy, sloppy, clumsy sex when you deserve more". And it is the understand of the power of that gift that will motivate young people to educate themselves thoroughly in this vital and essential aspect of marriage before they even approach the subject with their significant other.
It's not a cultural thing, it's a moral thing and a logical thing to remain a virgin till married. It's the most special of gifts you can offer your spouse. Sex is not just an act, it's a covenant that is made between two people (not 3,4,5,6 or 120...) that says, "I am yours and no one elses" And it is understanding the power of this covenant that will motivate young people to save themselves for that special someone.
No way.
Of the people I know who 'saved' themselves completely (no touching, etc...cause let's face it, most people who save themselves have done everything but intercourse...) have had horrible sexual lives AND sex is 'weird' in their relationship.
My one friend that I've known since birth told me she wishes now that she would have had sex with her husband before marriage. They don't enjoy it and they like TOTALLY different things.
It's not a cultural thing, it's a moral thing and a logical thing to lose your virginity well before marriage. Being an educated and responsible lover, with a deep understanding in how your body and the body of your spouse works and reacts, is the most special gift you can offer your spouse. Sex is not just an act, its a sophisticated set of skills and abilities that cannot be guessed at, intuited, or faked without dramatic and often unpleasant consequences for the parties involved, a matter of respect and love in the covenant that you eventually make with your spouse. It says "I give a damn enough about you as a person and a lover not to give you lousy, sloppy, clumsy sex when you deserve more". And it is the understand of the power of that gift that will motivate young people to educate themselves thoroughly in this vital and essential aspect of marriage before they even approach the subject with their significant other.
I would much prefer to find out my partner was a non-sexual prude before marriage than after. Matter-of-fact, if anyone is dating or living with someone who keeps making excuses to not have sex, dump them NOW. You are seeing them at their Sunday best behavior and it'll just get worse once a ring is in place.
What if it is a new person you are dating? Are you saying that unless someone is willing to have sex right away, they should be dumped?
Before I met my husband, I dated men that expected sex within 3 dates. Since I was usually uncomfortable with this, I lost a lot of guys. If I was looking for a relationship, I made sure not to give it up too quickly, even if I wanted to jump my date's bones.
It's not a cultural thing, it's a moral thing and a logical thing to remain a virgin till married. It's the most special of gifts you can offer your spouse. Sex is not just an act, it's a covenant that is made between two people (not 3,4,5,6 or 120...) that says, "I am yours and no one elses" And it is understanding the power of this covenant that will motivate young people to save themselves for that special someone.
Sex is too important not to learn about before marriage.
Do you think a virgin woman is more likely to be a good wife and mother?
No. Also "good" wife and mother is subjective and I don't see what it has to do with virginity. Everyone ends up with lessons (and hopefully) wisdom they can share.
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Originally Posted by marcy*
A virgin is more likely to be faithful to her husband?
No. Again, I don't think this is related to being a virgin at all. This is about character.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcy*
Do you think that a virgin should marry a virgin in order to have a successful marriage? What if she is a virgin and her husband has had to many partners before marriage? Do you think this kind of relationship will work?
If there's a certain maturity and open-mindedness, I don't think any of this is relevant. However if there are views that relate to religion or some form of discipline, and then depending how important that is to the individual, then that can impact the relationship. Having similar philosophies and belief systems can help too - not always necessary but it makes things easier.
I never imagined myself getting married and I'm not religious. Being young, I didn't want to be used for sex (that's how I viewed it then) and decided it was important for me to feel trust and respect from my lover before sharing myself physically. And he actually did end up being my husband. It was because we were inseparable and stimulated each other on a variety of levels. So it ended up being that way and we've never looked back. My outlook on sex has changed somewhat since then. I wouldn't do anything differently though. Each to their own.
i dont think there is anything wrong with premarital sex. sex is a really big part of a marriage & if one of the partners in the relationship isnt satisfied with it, it can cause them to stray!But that is another reason communication is so important!being a virgin or not definitely has no way of assuring you a good marriage! the most important things needed for that are communication & trust! because without that you dont have anything!
I don't think so.. There are many other things that really matters in a successful life.Both the them should be helping,caring and Loving.Virginity also Matters but if a person is so caring and compromising and loving then there could be a possibility of Successful marriage!
what stuns me... are people that are willing to get married if they have never had sex before. Well.. I assume this happens.. I dont personally know anyone like that.
"Wow. Looks like we are largely incompatible in bed, with vastly different ideas on the matter - certainly different responses to what we believe about the act. What do we do now that we are married?"
Virginity does not determine someone's character. It's how you use or dont use your sex life that really matters and determines your character. My husband and I lost our virginity to each other before we got married. I didn't mind that he was a virgin but I would have minded if he had had many sex partners. Just my .02
My one contribution is this. For those people who argue that you have to know whether you are "sexually-compatible" first before you marry - just look at how many people on this forum alone complain about how sexual their spouse was before they married (or early in the marriage), or talk about how great the sex was 'before' but now their sex life is in the dumps.
My point being you cannot take your sex life early in the dating relationship/marriage as a barometer how it will be 5/10/25 years later. There's so many factors that play into a healthy sex life that you CANNOT take quality/quantity of sex when you were dating as how things will be until "death do us part".
My personal opinion is this - if there is a strong compatibility outside of the bedroom and you have two people who truly love and respect each other and put the other's needs above their own; than that will carry over into the bedroom as well and you will have a healthy exciting sex life. But early in the relationship, when infatuation and excitement are still fresh, and the hormones are raging - of course the sex will be great. Which means nothing 10 years later if they couple quit putting all the work into each other like they did when they were dating and screwing like rabbits.
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Re: Pre-marital sex or no? 
