marcy*

I'm doing a research paper on pre-marital sex and i'm interested to know your opinion.I posted the same thread in another forum with different culture from yours.
I want to see the differences that exists between these two different countries, when it comes to marriage and mostly about women.
Some of questions are:
Do you think a virgin woman is more likely to be a good wife and mother?
A virgin is more likely to be faithful to her husband?
Do you think that a virgin should marry a virgin in order to have a successful marriage? What if she is a virgin and her husband has had to many partners before marriage? Do you think this kind of relationship will work?
I would really appreciate your opinion.

friendly

I think it works petty well in Indian culture. Maybe?
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Nicbrownn80

I think it really depends on the age of the person, I think are 18 years old it gets harder not too every year so ....

Amplexor

(USA) No it is not important. Wife and I are both life time Catholics. Both lost our virginity in our mid teens. Multiple sexual partners before we met in our mid twenties. She many more than I. We found each other to be very experienced and talented in bed. It was a good match.

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Amp

Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp

michzz

Based on that? No.

No. Character and self control is more than about a hymen.
No.

Define "too many"?

Any relationship is between two people (presumably). How it works out is up to them.

swedish

No. I think a having a solid upbringing would stack the cards in a woman's favor since we tend to mirror what our mothers were like if we felt they were a good wife/mother.
No. Some virgins may get to a point in life where they feel they missed out on something by only being with one other person. In others, it may strengthen their resolve to remain committed to one for life.[/QUOTE]
Two virgins can have a successful marriage, but others may also find they are not sexually compatible. Any way you slice it up, it really depends on the 2 people involved in the relationship. Age may come into play. I believe younger couples prefer more purity and older couples...well, let's just say slim pickins' if you will only date virgins.

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marcy*

Swedish I agree with you.

I didn't want to put a number, let me say men who had more than one partner before marriage. In other cultures maybe you can find men who even though they have had more than 5 partners they still want to marry a virgin, because they can't accept the idea that she has been with somebody else. I come from Eastern Europe. Now I live in USA. I know that these questions for you may seem ridiculous, even for me, but in my country even today you can find people who can't marry a woman if she is not a virgin, mostly in deep rural areas, far way from civilization, and most importantly with no education.

Amplexor

That is exactly why I never put much stock in marrying a virgin. I wanted to make sure we were compatible. I hate the analogy of test driving the car but that's what it boiled down to. Never bothered me that she'd had more demos than me either.

__________________
Amp

Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp

WhereAmI

I think there can be sexual issues whether a virgin or not. My husband has expressed concern that I might want to explore since he's the only man I've ever been with.

My husband has been with one other female and they were insanely young. It doesn't bother me at all. Occasionally I'll tease him about having twice as many partners than me.

Sex is important in a relationship, but past sexual experience isn't, IMO.

Blanca

I think if one has had premarital sex they are more inclined to have an affair.

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TNgirl232

I think if one hasn't they are just as inclined - especially if they get to thinking "man did I miss out....I wonder what it would be like...."

Mom6547

The question is missing a VERY important response. Is there value to having sex before marriage? And the answer to that is YES. So many people wind up with basic incompatibilities that could have been unearthed before marriage.

Chelhxi

I think sex before marriage (with each other at least) is much more important than living together before marriage. You can make adjustments and compromises about living together for the sake of a good relationship but sexual incompatibility is a real relationship killer.

Husband and I didn't live together before marriage, but definitely had sex. I couldn't marry someone who wasn't adequately compatible in that area - I just can't see it lasting. I think having sex is what keeps us from driving each other crazy, both being introverted and independent.

TeaLeaves4

I would tend to agree with you, and I think that applies to both sexes.

But I also think that people who don't have premarital sex can end up with a certain set of problems of their own.

seeking sanity

I think you'll find that in cultures where there is more education and liberal values that premarital sex is accepted. In cultures that are more conservative and/or have a large population with low education levels, there is more stock on 'virginity'. I believe this is likely because education creates perspective and one is forced to challenge beliefs and think things thru, whereas more tribal cultures follow societal norms. Just a guess.

Same would go for tolerance of homosexuality, cultural and religious differences, etc.

In that way if you are comparing sexual beliefs corresponding to divorce rates against multiple cultures, you have a flawed study. One too many variables.