Adventures with Spouse - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-18-2015, 08:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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Hubs' idea, that I loved the sound of, was for us to take it in turns to plan and book a trip, then simply tell the other when it will be and what type of weather to pack for. Could be a simple, local weekend away or something further from home. Well, I eagerly said I'd book the first one. He is hanging for a vacation. I told him I'd have it covered.

I have a destination in mind. This is a place he's been wanting to go. I'm excited about it too. What I'm finding though, is how much we'd normally share together about where we'd be going and what we'd be doing. I'm currently feeling in two minds as the excitement leading up to the trip is part of the experience shared! I'm realizing that I'll not only need to have a good (enough) understanding of the culture for both of us but I'm also considering taking a beginners language class to get us by... which feels strange when we'd normally do this together.

Still, I'm excited at the thought of pulling it off for us and willing to give it a try and see how it feels planning it solo. He's normally the one that researches everything in detail, whereas I'm more the one to wing-it, but I think for this trip I owe it to us to be more prepared than is my usual style. It's had me wondering if I'm normally able to wing-it because in the back of my mind, I know he'll have other details covered if needed. It's an interesting mini-experiment!
This is adventurous! Not knowing where you are going would be fun and scary. That is showing total trust to your spouse. Plus as you say there will be the excitement of exploring as you go. It's kind of like an extended surprise party. I found it hard to hide the arrangements. Just three months ago I was making arrangements for her present for our 25th anniversary when my wife unexpectedly stayed home and walked in on a phone conversation about the details of it. I hope your arrangements go smoothly!


I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
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post #47 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-19-2015, 06:00 PM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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This is adventurous! Not knowing where you are going would be fun and scary. That is showing total trust to your spouse. Plus as you say there will be the excitement of exploring as you go. It's kind of like an extended surprise party. I found it hard to hide the arrangements. Just three months ago I was making arrangements for her present for our 25th anniversary when my wife unexpectedly stayed home and walked in on a phone conversation about the details of it. I hope your arrangements go smoothly!
Thanks!

I've been in two-minds about it since posting... I feel like I'm almost bursting at the seams to share it with him. And then wondering how I'll do the language class without him knowing what I'm learning. We watched an Anthony Bourdain show the other day. The destination in mind was one of the first 3 shows that came up. I gave him the option of the 3 shows and he picked that one..! Then he said that if we ever went there, he'd likely struggle with what to eat. Afterwards I looked up different local foods available and this really is where speaking the language will help. Eep! Can I really pull this off without sharing it with him? I am hanging to say something. And I'm still working out which season to go. Then do we stay in a local home (airbnb style) or hotel? It's made me realize how we'd normally excitedly discuss these details. It is so hard not to just blurt it out. I have already done an excited 'I know something you don't know' jig... he responded by asking questions for hints. I had to turn away from him and suggest he stop otherwise I'd likely just let the cat out the bag!

The one question I did ask was how much he felt was reasonable to spend on the trip (without knowing where we'd go). We were on the same page.

What did you arrange for your 25th Anniversary?

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #48 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-19-2015, 06:27 PM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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I think they will have fun.
The fall is tall enough to get her adrenalin rushing if she does the whole hike.

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post #49 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-19-2015, 08:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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The fall is tall enough to get her adrenalin rushing if she does the whole hike.

Nice! That looks super fun. Hopefully most of the path is not too exposed so that she makes it all the way.

I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
Listen to your spouse!
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post #50 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-19-2015, 09:11 PM Thread Starter
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Adventures with Spouse

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Thanks!

I've been in two-minds about it since posting... I feel like I'm almost bursting at the seams to share it with him.
Wow that is hard. We go over everything we want to do as well. The planning is a large part of the enjoyment. But don't worry, I'm sure he will get into it. I think it would be awesome to be surprised like that.

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Then he said that if we ever went there, he'd likely struggle with what to eat. Afterwards I looked up different local foods available and this really is where speaking the language will help. Eep! Can I really pull this off without sharing it with him?
That's the way to do it! I still remember a trip with my kids and parents to Japan where we were trying Kaiseki (Japanese multi course meal of delicacies) and our youngest noticed there were eyes in the noodles at which we realized they weren't noodles. It's still talked about.

You can pull it off. Have confidence and plan as usual.



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What did you arrange for your 25th Anniversary?
It wasn't a large gift but it was a complement to our regular weekend breakfasts that I've discussed here before. It was a silver waffle server that I had engraved. She came into the room as I was spelling out the wording over the phone for a quote. We used it on Christmas to serve eggs Benedict at our traditional Christmas breakfast and it worked really well.

Adventures with Spouse-imageuploadedbytapatalk1421723508.923303.jpg

I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
Listen to your spouse!
Fog v. Love
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post #51 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-19-2015, 10:41 PM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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Wow that is hard. We go over everything we want to do as well. The planning is a large part of the enjoyment. But don't worry, I'm sure he will get into it. I think it would be awesome to be surprised like that.

That's the way to do it! I still remember a trip with my kids and parents to Japan where we were trying Kaiseki (Japanese multi course meal of delicacies) and our youngest noticed there were eyes in the noodles at which we realized they weren't noodles. It's still talked about.

You can pull it off. Have confidence and plan as usual.
I love your story from Japan! haha.... I'm excited and will try my best to keep it a surprise (and pull it off). It's hard not to blurt out 'And we can go to THIS thing..!' Anyway, I'll see how long I can last - hopefully I'll make it through until we get to the airport and then he can find out. But, we'll see... we'll see....


Quote:
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It wasn't a large gift but it was a complement to our regular weekend breakfasts that I've discussed here before. It was a silver waffle server that I had engraved. She came into the room as I was spelling out the wording over the phone for a quote. We used it on Christmas to serve eggs Benedict at our traditional Christmas breakfast and it worked really well.

Attachment 31834
What a lovely idea and a beautiful thing to cherish.

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #52 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-19-2015, 10:42 PM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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The fall is tall enough to get her adrenalin rushing if she does the whole hike.

Keep us posted!

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #53 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-20-2015, 04:04 AM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

June or July, it's one of many in the Columbia river gorge. My memory is that the trail is in the trees most of the way. 700 feet elevation gain over 1.3 miles one way.
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post #54 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-20-2015, 12:55 PM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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June or July, it's one of many in the Columbia river gorge. My memory is that the trail is in the trees most of the way. 700 feet elevation gain over 1.3 miles one way.
I've always wanted to go on that hike. Oregon has many beautiful areas. I'm hoping to go to that one some day.
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post #55 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-23-2015, 07:39 AM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

My hubby and I are going away tonight for a long weekend without the kids. I am beyond excited. Lots of logistics getting the kids coverage but now it's all set and I'm excited to get away with just him. We don't do enough adventures just us but we always say after we do...why don't we do this more often? Do you ever get so wrapped up in your kids that you don't take the time to just focus on your spouse? I think some of the issue for us is we like doing different things. I am very outdoorsy and like to be active and in nature. He is kind of more prone to stay inside and just relax, read the paper, hang out. In any case, he's starting to enjoy being outside more and I'm learnign to just relax more!

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post #56 of 85 (permalink) Old 01-23-2015, 08:57 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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My hubby and I are going away tonight for a long weekend without the kids. I am beyond excited. Lots of logistics getting the kids coverage but now it's all set and I'm excited to get away with just him. We don't do enough adventures just us but we always say after we do...why don't we do this more often? Do you ever get so wrapped up in your kids that you don't take the time to just focus on your spouse? I think some of the issue for us is we like doing different things. I am very outdoorsy and like to be active and in nature. He is kind of more prone to stay inside and just relax, read the paper, hang out. In any case, he's starting to enjoy being outside more and I'm learnign to just relax more!
Getting wrapped up too much with the kids was a big problem for us years ago. Making time to get away with each other as you're doing will go a long way to keep your marriage rejuvenated!

My wife and I have a similar difference. When traveling I often like to hang out and do little while my wife takes a very active role with sight seeing. One of the things I did that satisfied both was renting a boat. I could sit relax enjoy the view and she could see the coast, houses and other things.

I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
Listen to your spouse!
Fog v. Love
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post #57 of 85 (permalink) Old 03-03-2015, 07:07 PM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

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Wow that is hard. We go over everything we want to do as well. The planning is a large part of the enjoyment. But don't worry, I'm sure he will get into it. I think it would be awesome to be surprised like that.
As part of the fun, he keeps randomly trying to guess where it will be. He's listing off all the different possible locations along with type of travel. Is it a house-boat? What music festivals are coming up? Is it a hiking/cycling/camping trip? Is it Comic-con? Okay, just tell me is it local, domestic or international travel?

I'd gotten side-tracked from planning until last week then pulled it together. Complete with a kick-ass-looking itinerary, might I add. When deciding on dates and season, it occurred to me seeing the Halloween costumes would be a trip! I mentioned Halloween to him and that threw him for a loop as to where we might be going. Now he's wondering if I just said that to throw him off track.

Anyway..... flights are booked! I'm super excited. Accommodation is also booked for the first part. I decided on a local apartment to stay in. Things to see, do, and when, and other destinations are mapped out. And the annual motor show will be on while we're there. I've dedicated a day to that haha.

As our travels are still some time away, after it's all booked, he's decided he'd like to know where we're going so that he can look forward to it with me. I think we also both know that I'll crack trying to keep it to myself for that length of time. Especially when he keeps playing the guessing game!

I'll be sharing it all with him this weekend. Kick-ass itinerary included. I've also lined up a language class for us to take together starting next week. The time is blocked out as 'busy' in our calendars which also has him curious. meson, I absolutely agree that the planning and/or anticipation is a large part of the enjoyment. This little experiment really demonstrated that to me. While it's been fun teasing him with the unknown, endless possibilities, I can't wait to share all the excitement and lead-up of this trip with him. I can't keep all these bookmarked youtube clips to myself! Next year will be his pick!

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #58 of 85 (permalink) Old 03-04-2015, 02:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

Excellent Heartsbeating!!! You've really got him excited. Taking the language class together should be an adventure itself. Letting him in on it sounds good since it will help generate excitement itself. I'm not sure I could have held out with not telling my wife. Way to go!

I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
Listen to your spouse!
Fog v. Love
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post #59 of 85 (permalink) Old 03-07-2015, 01:26 AM
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Re: Adventures with Spouse

Thanks for sharing in the excitement, meson! It was nice to read your post.

Well, last night he booked dinner for us at a restaurant we love but haven't been to in a while. I couldn't have asked for a more purrrfect choice. I told him I was going to share our destination over dinner and asked him to choose whether he wanted to learn by sound or sight.... he opted for sight. So as we don't have a printer, I emailed the itinerary to him upon leaving. At the restaurant, we continued the guessing game a bit longer. Rightly or wrongly, admittedly I was enjoying toying with him. He revealed that he suspected New York, Chicago or Canada.

Over a bowl of edamame, I suggested that he open his email. I think it blew his mind a little bit. He was stunned and elated. He also asked where and how the brochure/itinerary came from. He thought it had been professionally made... ha ha, amazing what a few select images and simple design can achieve.

He loved it and took a good while absorbing all the details of the itinerary between shared dishes. And I excitedly began sharing all what I've learned so far about cultural nuisances, history, the various things to experience. We're already having fun with this.

We were finishing the meal when, with a chuckle, it hit him Oh, and we're at a Japanese restaurant!' Like I said, his choice for dinner couldn't have been better.

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #60 of 85 (permalink) Old 03-07-2015, 01:50 PM Thread Starter
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Adventures with Spouse

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Thanks for sharing in the excitement, meson! It was nice to read your post.

Well, last night he booked dinner for us at a restaurant we love but haven't been to in a while. I couldn't have asked for a more purrrfect choice. I told him I was going to share our destination over dinner and asked him to choose whether he wanted to learn by sound or sight.... he opted for sight. So as we don't have a printer, I emailed the itinerary to him upon leaving. At the restaurant, we continued the guessing game a bit longer. Rightly or wrongly, admittedly I was enjoying toying with him. He revealed that he suspected New York, Chicago or Canada.

Over a bowl of edamame, I suggested that he open his email. I think it blew his mind a little bit. He was stunned and elated. He also asked where and how the brochure/itinerary came from. He thought it had been professionally made... ha ha, amazing what a few select images and simple design can achieve.

He loved it and took a good while absorbing all the details of the itinerary between shared dishes. And I excitedly began sharing all what I've learned so far about cultural nuisances, history, the various things to experience. We're already having fun with this.

We were finishing the meal when, with a chuckle, it hit him Oh, and we're at a Japanese restaurant!' Like I said, his choice for dinner couldn't have been better.
You found a way to make an adventure out of just telling him where you are going. What a fun way to learn where you're going. I like those kinds of puzzles and it sounds like he does too. Exploring the unknown is an adventure and a trip to a country where you've just learned tidbits of the language should be an adventure. Japan is a super nice place to visit. The people are so friendly and helpful you should have a great time with the exploring attitude you both share. がんばつてください!
(Good luck! Written by someone who doesn't know enough Kanji to write it correctly.)

I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
Listen to your spouse!
Fog v. Love
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