Hmmm...given my 24 hour on/48 hour off schedule and wifey's RN job, there is seldom time for just us. We've managed to keep things going forward in a positive manner by first learning to respect one another and by me adjusting to her Shenanigans (for further, if really want to, see my other threads..don't wanna give a background in someone else's thread) and stopping her attention-seeking behavior when it begins.
Second, we, myself, or W basically tend to the child(ren) during the daytime hours based on the work schedules we have. When they go off to sleep, we decompress and discuss our day along with the upcoming things, chores, etc... that need to be done the next day, week, month, and so on. Once a month we work on our budget for the next month and review our financial well-being. We have a plan for the future to retire with dignity by planning for the future and mapping-out what our future will look like, based on wants and needs, when the children leave the nest.
Third, we tackle most household chores together when we are both home. If I'm mowing the lawn, she is weed whacking. If she is cooking, I set the table and wash dishes as she goes. And so on... This allows us to accomplish household tasks that much faster giving us a little extra time together later vs. doing things when the children are asleep.
Fourth, the time spent after child(ren) go to sleep (see "Second") isn't always spent discussing or planning an efficient household or working on our saving and investment portfolio(s). Sometimes it's ****tails on the deck, other times it's curling-up on the couch to watch a movie. It's pretty much anything goes for that block of time, but during that time it is our time and NOT when I watch the game or she does her hobbies as we spend enough time apart when I'm away for 24 hours or more or she's working that our hobbies and things we enjoy alone have time to take place separate from the time we enjoy together.
Fifth, given my work schedule, every day I take off gives me five calendar days where I can play Mister Mom if my wife works. If she is also on time off, we co-parent and this is when we go on mini-vacations, to the pool, museums, etc... This makes us both happy as infertility was an issue with us along with health issues with the kiddos. The children define us and we couldn't be any happier then when we have joint family time together for more than a day or two!! This also leads to better and more exciting times (you know what I mean) during that little time we cherish once the child(ren) go to bed
Sixth, we both have lives outside of the home. I am a Chicago Bears season ticket holder, Blackhawks fan, White Sox fan, and Bulls fan. I and my friends, and sometimes work friends, attend the sporting events from time-to-time. I take my children to the Bears games along with my wife at times also. We tailgate and walk the lakeshore as a family unit when we go as opposed to maybe doing something different if I go with friends to the game. My W has the freedom to do things with her friends as well as long as I know what she will be doing and with whom (there is a backstory that explains my insecurity, not being done without a reason). My point is that we can both do things during our time, or time when we both have off of work, if we so choose. We have never had an imbalance of one or the other spending too much time away from each other or the family that it has been an issue.