What are some examples of these differences? How does this make a good marriage? Thanks for expounding.
This is probably going to stir up some controversy, but here goes.
My wife sometimes gets upset about seemingly unimportant issues, usually with contradictory complaints about the same event. For example, we had a guest over this past weekend, and she complained that we didn't include her in our discussions. So I said, "We didn't exclude you", to which she answered "You were discussing things I'm not interested in". So I said "You are interested in cosmology", to which she answered "I didn't have anything to contribute". Then when he suggested interrupting her phone call to her sister, which is something she does every Saturday, I told him not to. She said, "I didn't want to be interrupted but at least he was trying to include me".
So basically, whatever I did was wrong.
I could have said "Yes, dear, whatever you say".
But that would have been the wrong response. I know that women have an instinctual need to test their men to make sure they are strong enough to protect them (the women), and acting wimpy would NOT make her feel any better, but just get her madder.
So instead, I said "That doesn't make sense" and explained why. I refused to accept blame for not being able to read her mind, and pointed out that her criticism was self-contradictory. She didn't like it much, but I stood my ground and there was no negative fallout later.