Re: If you had it to do all over again...
for the thread question, Yes I would do it over again and with both the wonderful women I've been married to.
However, i think the thrust of this thread has more to do with what the OP will do. We never have the full story on these forums nor can we ever fully understand the dynamics of some real life situation we only glimpse through a few words open to many interpretations.
That being said, based on what has been shared by the OP, If it were me in that situation I think I'd not be moving into marriage and contemplating exiting altogether would be an option to consider.
How to recapture the feelings previously felt? Can you resolve the issues that broke those feelings and rebuild the trust once shared? What do you need? You clearly haven't been able to close the door on some past actions. Can you ever do so and, if so, once again the question, what do you need to do that?