I think there are more issues in your marriage then just disrespect. First, based on your responses to members of this forum, It looks to me that you do not take criticism well, and expect respect based on your superior status. You also gave your wife ultimatum to start respecting you within a week. Does she have a ON/OFF switch. What you did is set her up for failure. Since you are in a managerial position, you must know about performance reviews. The one of the important part of this process is evaluating past performance, and setup future goals for improvements with a milestones and periodic progress checks. Have you approach your marriage situation in similar matter? Have you both identified the major issues that prevent both of you to be happy, and start working toward resolution?
Clearly I'm biased but no I don't think I lord my status over her. As I've mentioned above, yea I was completely wrong to threaten divorce and see that now. I didn't respect the gravity of the word. I get respect needs to be earned, but at what point does it need to be a two-way street?
Re: Performance reviews. She has said in the past that she feels I treat the marriage in this way...like I setup things to do for her and just execute (ie., buy cards, write something, buy flowers, deliver, etc.)...and yes I do that because that's how I run my life. It doesn't mean I don't love her and that's it's all callous. I think about what I'm writing to her and I'm thinking about what she likes when I put the flowers together, etc...I sense that if everything were peachy she'd be happy with my efforts...but I think since we have overriding negative sentiment she sees it the way she sees it and I don't blame her.
Finally, I think many in this thread have been helpful and I've learned some big lessons. I think not threatening D is a good start. Insecurity is one of her biggest issues so I'm guessing there will likely be some impact here.
Aside from that, I am reading a couple books...one on relationship building and one on keeping the in-laws (my parents) at bay...