Re: Men in successful marriages, what do you do when the wife is disrespectful?
I don't think you did anything wrong by throwing away the diaper. If you didn't know, it seems like a normal thing to do. I wouldn't exactly apologize for that, how are you supposed to know that? But something has to give, holding a grudge won't help at all.
As far as the couch thing goes and her not being very nice about it. You should keep in mind that.
1.She is EXHAUSTED, I commend you for helping out and being super husband. But the baby needs her all the time. She is probably just going through the motions of exsisting right now. So cut her a little slack if she isn't being the nicest.
2. Crazy hormones, I've never had a baby but I do know that women have crazy hormones after the baby. She's going to be up and down and very snippy. After all, she has just given birth and feels awful and all over the place.
She needs reassurance, constantly. You have to make her feel safe. Not that you hate her or want to prove a point about respect. I know that there is only so much that a person that take of constantly being berated. But maybe try handling it in a more constructive and loving way. Don't threaten her with divorce ever unless you mean it. Especially now, she doesn't need that on top of everything else.
You have to tell her that you love her as much as she needs to hear it. Get her flowers just because or take her shopping. Whatever it is that she likes to do. It will take a while, maybe even years for her to feel safe again. But if you want your marriage to work and you love her, this is what you have to do. The respect will come with you showing that you understand.
Has she always been this way with you? Is there a chance she would soften if you did other things than just help around the house I don't think you are a bad husband. I think it takes a lot especially for a man to come here and try to get opinions and advice, that is a big step! If it happens again, try to step back from it and just don't say anything and come back to her in kindness and a hug. If she is crying and looking sad, you have to console her!