Originally Posted by crazyworkingmom View Post
I've been married 10 years, mostly successful I think. I hear stories of people being married 40, 50+ years and do wonder, how? That seems really long! If you've been married that long, can you share your secrets to success?
We've been together since 1982..met in our teens (so it's been over 33 yrs )....just not officially married that long ...yet..
Clicked on this thread last night before I went to sleep...thought I'd ask husband while he was getting dressed for work this am.. what he felt our "secret to success" was...within like 2 seconds ...this rolled off his lips... * "We Both want the same things in life".
... pretty simple answer..
That about sums it up.... it does make things flow so much easier...sure we have bad days.. something upsets us... we get in a mood.. cars breaking down, a little "pms' rearing it's ugly head on my attitude... still have a good fight once in a while.. but that's only normal..
....Most of our fights, we can look back and laugh... just some funny moments there.
We're one of those couples who doesn't let the sun go down on our anger.. (I think that has only happened maybe 2 times in all our years).... we don't leave each other's side, we're not grudge holders.... we talk it out ....we're very Open, vulnerable with each other... quick to admit our own faults, shortcomings .. OWN THEM & apologize when we've hurt the other... really...we can't rest until we are back in each others arms" again.. and always "Make up sex".. the best part! *
saying "simply Love"
.... We both desire to please each other...this brings us fulfillment.. when we're at odds.. we are bothered, miserable in fact.... because "US" matters... it's never been "my" or "his" so much.. but "OURS
".. or "US
".. when I felt I was having a "Mid life crisis" (all sexual mind you >
).. I never looked in terms of what I
Missed .. but what WE missed
.. and we rode that wave together...
These things make all the difference..... if one of us hurts... the other hurts.. if one of us needs.. the other wants to satisfy... we affect each other..and want to make it right.... *
We've always been Best friends
.. some say don't marry your Best friend.. you won't have the passion.. I don't understand this.. I couldn't imagine NOT marrying my best friend !.. When leafing through 100's of wedding invitations .. when I came to this one... the search was over.... still feel this way after all these years.. if anything, our love has grown with the shared memories, climbing that mountain together to achieve our dreams...looking back -how he handled me during my hardest yrs..when we couldn't conceive...then the babies coming one after one...a gratitude wells inside for how he stood beside me, loved me through it.. * Communication
/ Laughing together
.... we've always had what I call a "willing transparency" with each other.. we can't keep secrets....we wouldn't want to!... this is where intimacy is born.... anything Good, bad, juicy, the FUNNY.. (the crazy antics that happen at his work, stories of the guys..
)...if we've had a lousy day, need a hug....we're horny (let the seduction begin).. have a fantasy...we share it (I might be a little more forthcoming here... but he loves it)...
Our sense of humor... There are times the things he says... making fun of me.. I just start
... there is always some element of truth in it...I adore this somehow....then the kids get involved, we're all laughing.....then my feistiness gets a rise out of him..all this a part of our chemistry... which leads to lots of high spirited BANTER ....keeps things FUN.