Married 10 years and not even 30 yet! - Talk About Marriage
Long Term Success in Marriage If you've been married 10+ years and consider your marriage a success, post your success story here. Help others by talking about what works for you.

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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-29-2015, 08:21 PM Thread Starter
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Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Hello everyone! I've been an active reader for a couple of months and decided to finally post myself. I'm 29 and will be married 10 years in December. My husband and I got married when I was 19 and he was 20 in a tiny little court house in my small town. And in 100% honesty, I'm still madly in love with my husband and I know he feels the same for me. I didn't come on to brag about my marriage because i KNOW I'm not perfect and either is he, but I think we're just right for each other. We've had many ups and downs in our lives (two major ones were having a child with special needs and myself having major back surgery at only 24) but we've just kept our heads down and plowed through. If I had to give advice to any new bride on how to have a long and happy marriage would be a couple of things that I know are not too PC now. Treat your husband like a man, respect him, love him, let him lead as long as he's looking out for whats best for your family. Don't nag, compliment him, put some effort into your appearance. My husband loves red hair (I was born a brunette) so I dye it, it doesn't take much time and I know how much he appreciates that I do it just for him. Put down the cellphone and talk! We own a very cheap prepaid phone only for an emergency and that is it, no iphones for us. Be loving and compassionate, forgiving and last but not least have sex! I've had major back surgery and we still keep it very spicy in the bedroom so there is really no excuse. We've just had to change a couple of positions to help suit our situation. I make sex a priority because my husband makes being romantic and compliments a priority. Men feel close to us when we're in the bedroom and they deserve to feel loved too. I know this is long and I know i'll get the "what about that man, isn't he supposed to do stuff too" comments but i'm coming from my perspective. I love my husband and I love our family, and I'm always trying to improve our home life and our love life. Never stop doing that, no matter how long you've been married!

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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-29-2015, 08:42 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Welcome to TAM.

It's nice to hear about marriages that are working out. Good for the two you!
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-30-2015, 01:21 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

A breath of fresh air in what can often seem like a cacophony of negative experiences in relationships. It takes effort but effort well worth it. Thanks for sharing your story from your perspective.
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 09-30-2015, 07:01 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Happywife199 View Post
Hello everyone! I've been an active reader for a couple of months and decided to finally post myself. I'm 29 and will be married 10 years in December. My husband and I got married when I was 19 and he was 20 in a tiny little court house in my small town. And in 100% honesty, I'm still madly in love with my husband and I know he feels the same for me. I didn't come on to brag about my marriage because i KNOW I'm not perfect and either is he, but I think we're just right for each other. We've had many ups and downs in our lives (two major ones were having a child with special needs and myself having major back surgery at only 24) but we've just kept our heads down and plowed through. If I had to give advice to any new bride on how to have a long and happy marriage would be a couple of things that I know are not too PC now. Treat your husband like a man, respect him, love him, let him lead as long as he's looking out for whats best for your family. Don't nag, compliment him, put some effort into your appearance. My husband loves red hair (I was born a brunette) so I dye it, it doesn't take much time and I know how much he appreciates that I do it just for him. Put down the cellphone and talk! We own a very cheap prepaid phone only for an emergency and that is it, no iphones for us. Be loving and compassionate, forgiving and last but not least have sex! I've had major back surgery and we still keep it very spicy in the bedroom so there is really no excuse. We've just had to change a couple of positions to help suit our situation. I make sex a priority because my husband makes being romantic and compliments a priority. Men feel close to us when we're in the bedroom and they deserve to feel loved too. I know this is long and I know i'll get the "what about that man, isn't he supposed to do stuff too" comments but i'm coming from my perspective. I love my husband and I love our family, and I'm always trying to improve our home life and our love life. Never stop doing that, no matter how long you've been married!

Congrats being married 10 years.

Married 16 years myself.

Strength and Honor. What we do in life echo's in eternity.
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-01-2015, 09:04 AM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Nice!
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-02-2015, 06:37 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Beautiful post.. I resonate with all you said as a wife...

Love seeing those who married young still kicking and happy about it ...Many more years to you both !
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-06-2015, 04:07 PM
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Amen! Good for y'all!

I hear you, a lot of times when we say "respect your man" people hear, fear him, lose your voice, etc. I wholeheartedly agree with you!
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-14-2015, 07:20 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Happywife199 View Post
Hello everyone! I've been an active reader for a couple of months and decided to finally post myself. I'm 29 and will be married 10 years in December. My husband and I got married when I was 19 and he was 20 in a tiny little court house in my small town. And in 100% honesty, I'm still madly in love with my husband and I know he feels the same for me. I didn't come on to brag about my marriage because i KNOW I'm not perfect and either is he, but I think we're just right for each other. We've had many ups and downs in our lives (two major ones were having a child with special needs and myself having major back surgery at only 24) but we've just kept our heads down and plowed through. If I had to give advice to any new bride on how to have a long and happy marriage would be a couple of things that I know are not too PC now. Treat your husband like a man, respect him, love him, let him lead as long as he's looking out for whats best for your family. Don't nag, compliment him, put some effort into your appearance. My husband loves red hair (I was born a brunette) so I dye it, it doesn't take much time and I know how much he appreciates that I do it just for him. Put down the cellphone and talk! We own a very cheap prepaid phone only for an emergency and that is it, no iphones for us. Be loving and compassionate, forgiving and last but not least have sex! I've had major back surgery and we still keep it very spicy in the bedroom so there is really no excuse. We've just had to change a couple of positions to help suit our situation. I make sex a priority because my husband makes being romantic and compliments a priority. Men feel close to us when we're in the bedroom and they deserve to feel loved too. I know this is long and I know i'll get the "what about that man, isn't he supposed to do stuff too" comments but i'm coming from my perspective. I love my husband and I love our family, and I'm always trying to improve our home life and our love life. Never stop doing that, no matter how long you've been married!
Amazing, my wife and I married when I was 19 and she was 21....I had a motorcycle accident 3 years in, and I was bed ridden almost a year....Even with 8 months in a hip cast, we had sex daily....You have a very attitude, and predict a long marriage....Ours will hit year 50 next Feb...
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-14-2015, 07:29 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Happywife199 View Post
Hello everyone! I've been an active reader for a couple of months and decided to finally post myself. I'm 29 and will be married 10 years in December. My husband and I got married when I was 19 and he was 20 in a tiny little court house in my small town. And in 100% honesty, I'm still madly in love with my husband and I know he feels the same for me. I didn't come on to brag about my marriage because i KNOW I'm not perfect and either is he, but I think we're just right for each other. We've had many ups and downs in our lives (two major ones were having a child with special needs and myself having major back surgery at only 24) but we've just kept our heads down and plowed through. If I had to give advice to any new bride on how to have a long and happy marriage would be a couple of things that I know are not too PC now. Treat your husband like a man, respect him, love him, let him lead as long as he's looking out for whats best for your family. Don't nag, compliment him, put some effort into your appearance. My husband loves red hair (I was born a brunette) so I dye it, it doesn't take much time and I know how much he appreciates that I do it just for him. Put down the cellphone and talk! We own a very cheap prepaid phone only for an emergency and that is it, no iphones for us. Be loving and compassionate, forgiving and last but not least have sex! I've had major back surgery and we still keep it very spicy in the bedroom so there is really no excuse. We've just had to change a couple of positions to help suit our situation. I make sex a priority because my husband makes being romantic and compliments a priority. Men feel close to us when we're in the bedroom and they deserve to feel loved too. I know this is long and I know i'll get the "what about that man, isn't he supposed to do stuff too" comments but i'm coming from my perspective. I love my husband and I love our family, and I'm always trying to improve our home life and our love life. Never stop doing that, no matter how long you've been married!
Refreshing

Peace and long life
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 11-28-2015, 07:42 AM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Good to hear !

Most of the members here have a different story to tell. Stay together !

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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 11-28-2015, 05:48 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Right now I am going through a separation that is close to the divorce stage. My husband left three days ago and we finally had a short conversation yesterday about how he has lost himself and he needs to find out who he is and what he wants. After consulting some family members about what I need to work on, they had list of some issues that they have noticed that I need to work on. This post has opened my heart and my eyes to see that there are some things that I do need to work on and if I want to have my marriage, then I need to be willing to accept him without the nagging and mothering. So I just wanted to say thanks for helping me see some of the things that I haven't been doing right!
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 01:45 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

WTF!!!

Two months ago you had the marriage everyone wished they had.

Now you are close to divorce?

What happened?
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-05-2015, 12:25 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

Different people.
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-06-2015, 12:26 PM
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Re: Married 10 years and not even 30 yet!

glad you guys have your heads on straight, so many don't anymore. We've been married 13 years, together over 20. At one point it was my way all the time, and as a result I nearly lost my wife. She got into the same line of thinking and of course this made it worse for us. We got our heads and hearts straight and are happier now than ever. Each of us thinks about the other for nearly every action, and as a result we don't isolate each other anymore.

Congrats on the longevity and here is to many years together for you!

To the PP that had separated from her husband, you can reconcile if both of you put your hearts into it. If either can't or won't, it won't work.
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-15-2015, 10:15 PM
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Congrats and I love hearing about great marriages. We got married at 16 and 17 and we celebrated 43 years in July. I think that one reason our marriage has lasted is that we are best friends. We enjoy the same activities and enjoy being together. We have learned how to communicate and we have not had an argument in years. You talked about wives respecting their husbands but I think even more important is mutual respect. No one is perfect. When we screw up then asking and granting forgiveness is so important.
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